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Author Topic: True humor  (Read 1119 times)

llib enad

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True humor
« on: January 24, 2018, 05:25:02 AM »
Around 1980, Raymonda and I attended an education convention.  On the last evening, the key note speaker was Art Linkletter [Kids say the funniest things]. At the end he said  that teachers tell him some very funny stores and he wanted to share one.

In October, a Sam was enrolled in the 1st grade.  The Principal brought him to the classroom and introduced him to the teacher who then started to introduce him to the class but Sam said the needed to use the bathroom .  The teacher told him to go out the door, turn right and the 2nd door on the left was the boys restroom.  So off Sam went but came back and said he could not find it.  So the teacher ask Will  to show it to him.  Will came back in a couple of minutes later, walked up to the teacher, folded his arms and proclaimed  "the reason he could not find it was because he had his underware on backwards". 

Rene T

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Re: True humor
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2018, 07:54:03 AM »
Was his name Sam or Will?   :o ::) ;D
I'll have to remember this when my GPS tells me to go left and I go right.   
That was a good one. Thanks for sharing.
Rene, Lucille & co-pilot Buddy
AKA  Pep N Mem
2011 Chevy Duramax 2500 HD 4X4
2011 Montana High Country 343RL
From the Granite State of NH
& Florida Snowbird in Lakeland FL

Memtb

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Re: True humor
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2018, 09:03:06 AM »
  Another true , but humorous story. In the mid-80’s, with the construction and operation of a large gas plant in Wyoming, a lot of us “Southerners” moved to Wyoming. Most of us loved to hunt. One family (six), in particular,were very passionate about hunting. Their youngest was in kindergarten, and the subject was the four seasons. When the class was asked, “Who can name the four seasons”? The young man, very excitedly was waving his hand! When called upon, he answered, “ Deer, Elk, Moose, and Antelope”!
Todd and Marianne
Home Base: Winchester, Wy.
Miniature Schnauzers - Sundai, Nellie and Maggie Mae
2007 Dodge Ram 3500,  6.7 Ram 6 speed manual, 4x4
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halfwright

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Re: True humor
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2018, 09:51:57 AM »
When I was a police officer, I got a call about a "found child."  I responded to the area and there was a boy about 2-1/2 , maybe 3 years old. I talked with him for a minute and then asked his name. He said  "Billy."  I asked him what his last name was and he said, "Billy". Drawing on my knowledge of human nature, I asked him what his mother called him when she got mad, knowing that it would be his full name. He looked down at his shoes and said, "S---head". 
Jim And Darlene Wright
Full-timing with
Ryder, half poodle-- half garbage disposal
All in a
2007 Montana Mountaineer
2002 F250 Super duty 7.3 liter

Roy M

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Re: True humor
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2018, 11:22:29 AM »
Poor kid! Another one was asked his name, he proudly proclaimed "David Peter Smith COME HERE" ;D

John From Detroit

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Re: True humor
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2018, 06:23:22 PM »
Quote
Ryder, half poodle-- half garbage disposal

You know Jim or Darlene.. That part of your sig file fits this thread like a glove.. True, and Funny
Nothing adds excitement like something that is none of your business
My Home is where I park it.

Old_Crow

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Re: True humor
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2018, 06:11:28 AM »
Back in the '80's, my wife and I were out celebrating with her brother and his wife.  It was their last night in the States before the Navy shipped them to Japan for 3 years.
We got pulled over, basically for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and soon the rookie officer had all four of us out of the car while he searched it. 
There was an older officer with the rookie, but he was standing back, letting the rookie handle the stop.  My SIL and I were fairly quiet and respectful, but my wife and her brother were getting pretty hard on the rookie(to be fair, he looked about 17 or 18 years old).  I kept nudging my wife and telling her to shut up, but she never listened(big surprise that  ::) ).
Anyway, after about 30 minutes of not finding anything, the older officer looked at me and said, "Sir, can you please control your wife?"
I looked at him and said, "You've got the gun, you control her.  I've been trying to get her to shut up for a half hour."  He just shook his head and sent us on our way.
Wally Crow
Retired 30 year ASE Master Auto Tech
Y2K Bounder 36S F53
'03 Jeep Wrangler Sahara

John From Detroit

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Re: True humor
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2018, 11:04:16 AM »
Friend of mine got stopped because in MI you MUST wear seat belt.  The Driver (My Friend) was very respectful (Also belted) the unbelted  however had what we call diarrhea of the mouth.   Very Disrespectful of the officer.

The officer wrote out the ticket (NOTE I think there was another reason for the actual stop but the officer only did verbal warning on that, Fail to signal or some such) and gave the papers to the driver.  INCLUDING a ticket for no seat belt.

Well when they got back to the house the passenger was telling the driver "It's a good thing he gave you that ticket because I'd not have handled it as well".. The driver, at this point, looked at the ticket for the first time and .. Giving it to his passanger informed him who's name was on the ticket.... Smart Cop.

Technically not a valid ticket but .. (Was not given to the named violator so not properly served) But I'm not telling HIM that.
Nothing adds excitement like something that is none of your business
My Home is where I park it.

Oldgator73

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Re: True humor
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2018, 12:47:12 PM »
Our grandkids, ages 8 & 5 are at our house as much as they are at their house. The other night they were here playing with some toys on the living room floor. I really wasn't paying much attention but apparently an argument ensued between them. My interest was piqued when my grandson, the 5 year old, asked me to settle the argument. I don't remember what the argument was about but I sided with my grandson. He turned to his sister and said "You just got grandpawed!"
Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier

8Muddypaws

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Re: True humor
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2018, 09:44:27 PM »
True story:  The first time I got a prostate exam from my very attractive female doctor she brought a nurse into the exam room with her.  As she did the exam I said 'So, does this mean we're going steady?'.

No reaction at all.  But as soon as she and the nurse walked out of the room I heard them laughing all the way down the hall.  I yelled out 'I heard that!'. 
Retired computer professional
Musician, songwriter and music director
2006 Bounder 34H, 2008 CR-V Toad

Arch Hoagland

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Re: True humor
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2018, 10:43:24 PM »
On my sister's 73rd birthday her 6 year old grandson asked "Grandmaw shouldn't you be dead by now?"

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Seon

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Re: True humor
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2018, 09:12:21 AM »
Recently my grand daugther was running a little late and one of her 3 yr twin (my great-grand daughter) was lollygagging that morning before going to day care.

Her mother asked, "Jade, what are you waiting for"?

Jade replied, "For you to calm down".   ???   ;D

Itasca 27' Spirit
Lake Camanche, CA

Lowell

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Re: True humor
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2018, 10:13:09 AM »
One needs to watch their language around kids.  When my son was about 4 years old, he was driving his peddle car around the basement where I was trying to rip a board on a radial arm saw.  The saw caught part of the board and sent it flying into the wall.  My son drove up in his little car and said: Son of bitch! Right Daddy?"
Lowell

2005 Cherokee28A TT
pulled by 2009 Dodge 1500 Crew Cab 4X4
KF7YET

Tempe, Arizona

Joezeppy

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Re: True humor
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2018, 10:47:51 AM »
One needs to watch their language around kids.  When my son was about 4 years old, he was driving his peddle car around the basement where I was trying to rip a board on a radial arm saw.  The saw caught part of the board and sent it flying into the wall.  My son drove up in his little car and said: Son of bitch! Right Daddy?"


LOL - my father has a bit of a potty mouth so when our 1st child was born, my wife was constantly warning dad to watch is mouth. Don't you know it, my wife dropped something in the kitchen one day, said "sh*t" and our daughter was right there. And she repeated it all day long! Dad never let Kim live that one down!
Joe & Kim
Upstate NY - Kuyahoora Valley
2010 GMC Sierra 2500HD - 6.0L
2017 Keystone Hideout 295BHS
Andersen Ultimate Aluminum 5th wheel hitch