New and Need some help and advice

Hello Everyone, my name is Shari and an RV friend recommended I do this so I'm taking his advice.  I wasn't sure where to start and thought you all could perhaps offer me some advice; perhaps point me in the right direction.  I'll try to make this as brief as I can and if anyone reads and wants to know other details, I more than welcome a message. 

I am a 44yr old single woman on disability, with no kids or husband, or man of any sort in tow.  I have been diagnosed with PTSD and trying my best to overcome the hurdles that life has placed in front of me.  I am currently renting a single room and bathroom in a house that is way out in the country after a domestic abuse situation in another town landed me in the hospital - when I got out, all of my belongings were in storage, the house was up for sale, the bank account was cleaned out and my boyfriend was moving to another state.  This situation opened up wounds I had buried from myself and once they were exposed, my world was flipped upside down, inside out. My family disowned me, saying I was simply out for drama and none of what I was saying could have possibly happened to me as a child.  I had nowhere to go and no financial support but finally found a room I could rent.  I had two aging dogs that were my children through and through but could only have one of them stay with me; the other had to live with a friend.  Both dogs have since passed away within six months of each other and I am still reeling with grief from losing them...from so many aspects of my life actually, I can't begin to tell you.  I had a car that was bought and paid for but I got into an accident on the way to my grandmother's funeral this last September, and now have nothing to drive as I just had minimum insurance that didn't help.  I have this one friend help me with errands or I pay people off of Craigslist to pick up groceries or do other errands for me and that is so stressful.  It's true, you know, you really find out who has your back when the chips are down.  Okay, enough of the sob story history.

This room is a terrible trigger for me, it is where I found one of my puppies dead, have had countless flashbacks and other situations occur here, and it just represents a bad time for me, a bad feeling.  I absolutely need to get out of here to somewhere I can relax, feel safe, at home.  My depression is worse than I've ever felt it to be and I feel so stuck in a corner.  I want to get an rv or a trailer where I'm sure it would be cheaper than what I pay - $700 every month between rent and storage fees and find a place where I can think, where I can breathe, without a constant reminder of bad memories stuck to the walls like horrid wallpaper.  I've found potential parking places that I can afford that are offering rent in exchange for help with chores and such but I cannot find ANY place that will finance me-even for a personal loan for an older RV or trailer because I know there are guidelines for model years, etc.  I have a bankruptcy on my record from two years ago that is also haunting me.  But I am isolated way out here in the country with no resources, I don't know where else to look.  I have to be careful applying for loans online that do hard credit pulls or it will chip away at my suffering credit even more.  I am a responsible person, I've always worked in the past, I have never been in a situation remotely like this and I don't know what to do.  I feel absolutely trapped.  I thought an RV would at least be something to drive and live in both until I could work some and find an old clunker to drive, I don't even care what it looks like at this point as long as it runs!  But financial institutions see disability and bankruptcy and that I own what I have on my back and what's in storage and of course they don't want to take a chance on me - even though my bills are high right now because of this rent and storage unit.  I know there are other expenses to consider like insurance, etc.  but I've walked through the numbers and really think I could do it but I can't get off the starting block here.  I want to live and put these things behind me; as it is, I am stuck with no support.

Now, if you've read this far, you may be thinking I am wanting some kind of handout or something but that's not at all what I want.  You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be in the position I am in.  I would never have guessed I would be sitting in the spot I am in and it humiliates me.  I want to be able to contribute again, to be me again.  To re-enter the world again.  I want to laugh again.  To have another dog as my kid and compete him in frisbee again!  My pups were champion frisbee competitors!  No joke!  I want to know what my face looks like with my eyes not swollen from crying on a daily basis.  And I want to wake up and not dread to realize I awoke to yet another morning.  I want to be proud of myself again.

Those are the things I want, not a handout.  Does anyone have any ideas, any thoughts?  (That are positive?)  If you have something negative to say, please just don't.  I really don't think I could take any more negative slams.  I get enough of that via my "Family" and people who start off saying they'll help but then they realize they don't really want to. 

This is way longer than I had intended it to be, and I'm sorry if you disagree with me posting it.  I just didn't know where else to look and who better to ask than people who know people that live the lifestyle and know the ins and outs.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading all of this, if you've indeed made it to the end here.  This isn't a scam either.  I know that's fear of a lot of people, and I don't blame you one bit for questioning it.  I'm just looking for information of where to go, who to ask.  I'd be eternally grateful.

Much thanks and best wishes to all of you,
Shari in CO

It sounds like youre looking for a small motor home that you can live in and also drive around in. Some things to consider....

1. If you could find the financing, most MHs that you would be able to afford on less than 700 a month would probably need alot work and may not be very reliable. There are checklists in the Library of this forum that you can use when looking. You could also consider getting a smaller travel trailer and then find a park near a bus route and having someone park it for you there. It would be cheaper than a motor home and then you can ride a bus till you could save the money for a vehicle.

2. Financing... probably going to have to find someone willing to do their own financing, or one requiring higher interest rates. Search Craigslist and ebay and sites like RVtrader.com. It may be hard, but you may have to wait till you can save a bit of money at least for a down payment. Be aware of scams on Craigslist though.

3. I see youre from Colorado. RVs are not really set up for winter weather. You can spend winters in them, but be aware that you would have to do some serious modifications to do so.

4. I probably dont need to say this, but if youre not in therapy, get started on it. Therapists trained in EMDR are really effective in treating PTSD. If nothing else, they could help you cope with your living arrangements long enough to get somewhere else.

good luck

You may want to contact some of these places that provide RV space, salary, etc in exchange for working at the campground.

I don't know if any would include a RV but it wouldn't hurt to check into it. 

http://www.work-camping.com/

http://workampingjobs.com/workampingjobs.php

http://www.happyvagabonds.com/Jobs/Jobs-By-State.htm

https://www.workamper.com/


The good thing about tough times, and I've seen a few, is that when things finally do change for the better you REALLY appreciate the good stuff. 

Hang in there... As the song says...."When you're going through hell keep on moving, don't slow down!"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l50L4GYhpLc 

Hi Iwannalive07,

I realize there are a lot of emotional memories to get over, but I would look at this as a challenge to make things better and to pull yourself up and dust yourself off. I think there are many people who have bad times in their lives and over come those bad time to make it to the good times that ARE just around the corner.

My suggestion would be to look into some of the women's forums who RV. Perhaps you could find someone who goes back and forth to different areas and stays for a time (where it is warm in winter), you could work hopefully from those campgrounds and generate a savings. You could pay for your share of the expenses, making it nicer for the RV owner while keeping your costs down and saving.
I'd probably go to law enforcement and see if they could let you know if the person you plan to RV with is a good risk or not. Be sure to meet in a public place or with someone you know and you can usually get a feeling with someone.

Probably the most important item is a car or truck for transportation as that is everything for being able to go to a job and hold it down. With a job and saving money, sooner or later you should be able to afford an RV for yourself but be careful as there are a lot of units that can cost as much to fix as they cost!! If you find someone you can RV with perhaps doing that for a few years until you can decide what your next move should be.

I concur with cadee2c getting into some therapy as there may be some help there as well for opening doors for you, plus healing. Please if you will, let us know how things are going and tell us of the progress you are making. We do care!

Hi Arch,

Some campgrounds might have model homes they could let her live in while performing duties at the camp grounds. A good place to learn about RV's and get info from campers on how to buy and what to look out for.

Hi Shari and welcome to the forum.

A few good bits of advice already. I don't live in the  US so can't help much with your living conditions. Except to suggest you could always consider getting a tent and going somewhere warmer and camping that way till you can afford something else if you are really desperate, but not sure if that really helps.

However, I did some training a few years ago and one part was on EFT - Emotional Freedom Therapy (a simple tapping technique). This is a fairly simple technique which is very powerful, and you can do it on yourself.  Below there is a link to the website of the guy who came up with it which you can use and it's free!  Here's a bit about PTSD and EFT:

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a terrible burden to bear. It not only affects people psychologically, robbing them of peace of mind and inner tranquility; it damages them physically. Traumatic stress can result from negative emotional experiences during childhood. It can also arise in adults as a result of war, assault or similarly traumatic experiences. Some of the symptoms of PTSD are: Insomnia. Digestive disorders. Flashbacks and nightmares. Irritability, jumpiness, being easily triggered by events. Rage, grief and guilt. Anxiety, panic attacks, depression. Feeling isolated and unsafe. If you or someone you know has these symptoms, EFT can help. In scientific studies of war veterans and other traumatized groups, EFT has been shown to reduce or eliminate PTSD, sometimes in just a few short sessions. Not only do PTSD sufferers experience immediate relief, but the positive results extend long after treatment. This manual is a lifeline for those suffering from PTSD and their families. It also contains special sections that gather together the experience of many physicians, psychotherapists, social workers and coaches who have used EFT.


https://www.emofree.com/trauma/ptsd-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/beginnercollapsesptsd-article.html

You sound like a nice girl and are obviously intelligent. You will get through this. I hope you find this helpful.  Good luck with your search for somewhere to live.

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to post a huge THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to read my lengthy post and to those who also took the extra time to offer advice and encouragement.  It was so so needed and in all honesty, your kindness nearly brought me to tears.

There were a great many suggestions I hadn't really considered as I've been so focused with tunnel vision on getting OUT OF THIS ROOM -  so thanks for broadening the scope some for me.  As I said, this situation isn't one that I attach much pride to so it's easy for me to forget I need to also do steps B,C, D, and E before I can immediately expect to jump from A and land on F, if that makes any sense.

Yes, I am in therapy and a slave to the almighty pharma (medications), have been for some time, though neither seems to be helping much.  Actually yesterday I received my first ketamine treatment which was a "trip" all of its own.  I do four of them and if you can't tell a difference after four treatments, then you know it's not going to work at all; unlike medicine and other treatments- you do it and do it and do it and hope like heck eventually that it's going to kick in.  I very much value your compassion and concern and reaching back to me with such understanding.  It's more than I've received in person here which can be frustrating.

To all of you who did, in fact, reach out to me, I offer my deepest gratitude and will look into the ideas you mentioned to me and will keep looking around on your forum for other thoughts.  It's been a long time since I felt such warmth and caring and it was felt absolutely wonderful.  It means a great deal to me. 

I hope you don't mind if I pop in now and then with other questions I might have about purchasing if I find something - I might need some advice as to whether or not it's worth it.  I hope that's okay.

Alright, over and out for now.  Happy Trails to you all and I look forward to seeing you around on the forum and getting to know you better.

Best,
Shari

PS. To John From Detroit, I am unable to reply to your PM as you don't seem to have that feature and I don't have that ability.  I am still figuring my way around the forum and what I am able/unable to do.

Thank you.

Shari

For sure drop in and let us know how things are going and ask us about any RV you are looking to get. We have a ton of knowledge all earned the hard way!

I think you have to have 5 posts to be able to use the PM feature.

Pop by anytime and good luck!