Selling and done with RVing at least for a while

The friendliest place on the web for anyone with an RV or an interest in RVing!
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Great to see you took a breath, sat back and realized that everything will work out for you.  :)) You had me worried a bit there. I've been praying for you, and will continue to do so.
 
There are tons of other cities and lakes out there and im sure ill find one that will welcome me with open arms.  I could never live in florida though because of the the gators.  Living around gators and the sea takes a whole new skillset which cant be taught, you sort of have to be raised in such an environment to be able to survive in it. 
I have lived in central Florida for the last five years at the edge of a lagoon. My living room chair is less than fifteen feet from the lagoon. I see a gator in the lagoon occasionally. Usually 5 or 6 feet. I have absolutely no worries about a gator attacking me. Gators very rarely attack humans and when they do it is a mistake. Gators have been in existence for 200 million years, humans less than a million. Humans do not even register on a gators radar. We are nothing. We are not food and we are not enemies (well they don't know we really are their enemy). So they ignore us. I have a year pass to Gatorland and I visit there once a month to exercise and photograph the critters. There are hundreds of gators there of all sizes. I walk up to their enclosure and they completely ignore me.

Now lets looks at some facts. Only seven people have been killed by gators in the USA in the 2010s only five of those in Florida (one in Texas). Most gator deaths occur when a gator makes a mistake in murky water. Only 13 deaths in the 2000s, 3 in the 90s, 4 in the 80s and 3 in the 70s. That is 30 deaths in 50 years.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_alligator_attacks_in_the_United_States#2010s

Meanwhile the most dangerous thing you will ever do is drive a car. 

In 2010, there were an estimated 5,419,000 crashes, 30,296 of with fatalities, killing 32,999, and injuring 2,239,000. About 2,000 children under 16 die every year in traffic collisions. Records indicate that there have been a total of 3,613,732 motor vehicle fatalities in the United States from 1899 to 2013.
 
Dave, even if you do end up selling the rig, please keep in touch with us as to where you're going in the future. Hang in there buddy. We're all thinking of you and wishing you the best in whatever direction you go.
 
Dave, I haven't commented and won't now, but I suggest that you reread this string of messages if you question wether others value you. You've found a group of people who care!

Ernie
 
I haven?t replied either, but I was worried about you. Glad to hear you are coming out of the dark. Small towns are the worst to get connected in. It seems like everybody else has known each other since birth. Even if they don?t actively exclude new people, they just don?t seem to see why they should include them. I prefer larger towns with a more mobile population. I also second or third the idea of getting involved in charity projects. It helps your mental state, it helps those you work for, and it is a good way to find other empathetic souls. Good luck.
 
I am sorry you think you cannot connect with the people where you are. The park I am in during the winter is very friendly and accepting of others. They welcomed my wife and I with open arms. My wife hung back the first year and did not put effort into the relationships so it took them longer to warm up to her. but the second year she opened up and now We have happy hour together every day, go out to eat together 1 or 2 times a month. The girls go to bingo together, movies together, exercise class together and swimming pool together. The men go out to breakfast, play cards have Limburger cheese night, anchovy pizza night and cigar night together, play baseball,  go four wheeling and  exercise together.

If you are bored in our park it is your own fault



 
I haven?t replied either, but I was worried about you. Glad to hear you are coming out of the dark.

I agree.  I didn't know what to say earlier, but I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about your situation.

Small towns are the worst to get connected in. It seems like everybody else has known each other since birth. Even if they don?t actively exclude new people, they just don?t seem to see why they should include them.

Mostly true!  My mother grew up in a small Pennsylvania town and it wasn't until I got into genealogy that I learned almost everyone in town was related to her in one way or another.  For example, I grew up visiting Grandma and knew the kids on the right and across the street.  The people on the right turned out to be my cousins.  No wonder their mother put up with my brattiness as a kid!  But I loved that lady and used to "help" her pick stuff from her garden.  She taught me to dig up potatoes and I still remember it!  The people across the street held my grandparents' house mortgage and, yep, I've since figured out that they too were cousins.  After Daddy got out of the Army we returned to his home town where I went to junior and senior high school.  Two of my best friends there are in my family tree!  The girl who lived next door is my fourth cousin and we're both sure neither of our mothers realized they were related because they both went by their married names.  The sister of the other girl married into my dad's family.

So, I don't think it's that people in small towns don't want new people as friends.  It's just that their lives are full with their own family and friends (who might be cousins!) and they have to make both time and space available in their lives for new people to be accepted.  It can take quite a while and I mean probably years of participation rather than months.  If you want to make friends in a new community you have to go where the people are and start participating.  I say this from experience of being an Army brat and attending 13 grade schools.  I was always "the new kid" and it was difficult at times.  My older sister had an even more difficult time because she wore what were then called "chubby" sizes (such an awful term!) and glasses so she was always called fatty and four-eyes.  Kids can be cruel.  She withdrew; I fought back.

I'm hoping you find peace wherever you go!

ArdraF
 
It also makes a huge difference if you already have friends that they know and more than that it matters if you are married or widowed.

Seems if your single and older they consider you a losing class because certainly by that age you would have found "someone" to be with and if not then something must be wrong with you.    But if you are married then you hit the top of the list because they dont feel threatened, even widowed at least you had someone so they accept you.  The problem with that way of thinking is they dont realize how many husband and wife criminals there are in the world, lots and lots lol

Ill be ok, i just had to get mad enough to get my grit back.  My neighbor and me were laughing about it all, well they were kinda crackin on me in a funny way, which is cool with me.  They said well if they want a weirdo show them one, go get you a army helmet and a utility belt and start marching up and down the road calling cadence and then stop to talk to invisible people.  I told them maybe i should just get a gun turet for the back of my truck like they have in the middle east.  I was totally cracking up over it. 

But i did find out who the snake in the grass was, a employee at the restraunt (who i get along with)who agrees im getting a raw deal told me what happened.  It seems the old man at the front desk likes to hug on all the waitresses, and when i started hugging them he got pissed off because he was challenged that i was intruding on what he thought were his girls.  So when this other deal happened he just used that little piece of info to create some new drama and crap about me to get me booted so he could have his girls back.    Isnt that just so unbelievably petty, to put me through all this just because he felt challenged when i was just being a nice guy with no intention whatsoever. 

One thing i have learned about this small tourist town is that on the surface its all smiles and welcome.  But under the fake cover there sure is alot of cutthroating, drama, and backstabbing.  Its almost like they feed on it and cant live without it, and somehow i ended up right in the middle of it just because i didnt have my guard up to those kinds of things.    I have experienced this in a big city but never in a small town before and all of this makes them complete religous hypocrites. No wonder they have sooooo many churches around here, they need them to wash their sins away.

Bottom line is that i just dont fit here, and thats ok.  I just hope they leave me alone for the rest of my time here so i can live in peace.    I know i will find a place eventually that i fit into the mix, it will just take time.  I know there is a place out there with REAL Texas hospitality and not this fake stuff. 

While i was getting gas today me and the local tow truck driver (he was filling up) got to talking and actually had a pretty good 30 min conversation about stuff just shooten the bull, it felt good.  But i didnt pursue the friendship because he drinks and i dont and i know it just would not work out being friends.  But at least i know if i see him on the road or in the store we can have a nice conversation or wave. 

 
Glad to hear that you're back in the fray.

Having lived in both, I can unfortunately say that there is plenty of drama, bickering, and backstabbing in big cities and small towns; it is our human pettiness, jealousies, vindictiveness, our just plain brokenness. We all need to wash our sins away...
 
My 2 cents, Dave. I'm single, so I get feeling like the odd man out when you're surrounded by couples. (My husband left me, in his 40s, for a 20 year old girl.) On top of that, I have 6 kids, so I'm not out dating or getting daily invites to friend's houses for dinner. There are people who are put off by me before ever hearing a word out of my mouth, it's not as bad now, but when I had 6 kids all under 8, I would get comments, literally on a daily basis, from strangers. Usually those involved whether I had ever heard of birth control (which is ironic because my kids are all adopted). Anyway, my point, yup there is one lol, is that I've felt depression and hopelessness and a feeling like nobody cares, but they do. Let them. Go do things for other people. Volunteer. Listen to people. Strive to hear instead of be heard. And you'll find your people, maybe not the first people you come across, but your people are out there. If RVing is something you love, and idk that it is, but IF it is, don't give it up over one bad experience.
 
RVMommato6 said:
My 2 cents, Dave. I'm single, so I get feeling like the odd man out when you're surrounded by couples. (My husband left me, in his 40s, for a 20 year old girl.) On top of that, I have 6 kids, so I'm not out dating or getting daily invites to friend's houses for dinner. There are people who are put off by me before ever hearing a word out of my mouth, it's not as bad now, but when I had 6 kids all under 8, I would get comments, literally on a daily basis, from strangers. Usually those involved whether I had ever heard of birth control (which is ironic because my kids are all adopted). Anyway, my point, yup there is one lol, is that I've felt depression and hopelessness and a feeling like nobody cares, but they do. Let them. Go do things for other people. Volunteer. Listen to people. Strive to hear instead of be heard. And you'll find your people, maybe not the first people you come across, but your people are out there. If RVing is something you love, and idk that it is, but IF it is, don't give it up over one bad experience.

Hi Amanda, that was a wonderful reply thank you so much, and it was worth much more than 2 cents.  Every day i remind myself not to let the isolation get to me and not to fall into dispare when faced with certain challenges.  So even though i feel im strong, many times there are just as many holes in my armor as there is armor to cover me lol...  Even rocks have a breaking point.

I am so very sorry that you had to go through that experience, it is heartbreaking when the ones we give ourselves to hurt us.  Especially when children are involved.  I sounds like you have done well to keep your spirits up and i am glad you have, you seem like someone with grit of your own and that is a character trait that is so important to have so please dont ever lose that grit. 

I have three boys but not with me, my divorce was a bitter one even though i tried to make it no so.  I divorced her because she was very abusive not only to me but to the children, but back in those days the mom got the kids unless it was proven she was unfit and that was a challenge as well.  Now days they have alot better ways to be sure the kids are in good hands.    I spent many years crying over my boys feeling like a worthless dad because i could not protect them from her.  Everyone that has met my ex wife says two things pretty much "i never want to talk with her again" and or "how did you ever put up with her without going to prison for murder"  my sons consider her a psycho and dont have anything to do with her.    But i did finally get the chance to sit down with them and tell them about me and life and as it should have been for us and all the things i wanted to say and do but could not before. 

13 years ago i dated a girl for two years and thought she was the one, our sex life was out of this world awesome and we got along so very well.  Then i found out she had been cheating on me the whole time, it was all a game to her. She told some people we were getting married, she told others i would not leave her alone, she told others i was just one of many.  When i began to suspect something was wrong and things didnt add up i ask questions and she always had an answer why she was going to work with no panties on, why she kept a makup kit in the truck of her car, why it appeared she just had sex.  She always convinced me i was wrong and she was very good at it.  So good that i could not even begin to think she was cheating because it would just hurt too much.  I just thought she had other job somewhere she didnt want to tell me about in a dance club or something. 

In the end she told me i was a love sick fool and she ended up chasing her ex to alaska because he left without her which made her want him more and i was just too easy and not enough challenge for her.  She told me heck dave you dont even have the nuts to tell me i am being a b... when i am one.  I said well thats not my job, if you want to be a b.... well then you choose to not make this a happy experience, i dont control your choices you do and if you want this to work then dont be a b....  if you dont then be a b....    one of her other boyfriends was standing in my apartment with her child and i ask him to leave, he refused and i was helpless to make him leave since he was holding a child.   

I ended up falling apart totally callapsing on the living room floor as i watched them leave with her stuff and feeling like the worlds dumbest fool.  I began to cry outloud not carring if anyone heard me  and i could not stop for hours and hours.  That moment changed me as i felt something break within me just as if a bone was breaking.  I have never been the same since, i dont know what broke whether it was my hope, my innocense, my will or what but i have had a huge dead hole inside me ever since. 

Cheaters never realize or care about the pain, desaster, and wreckage they leave behind.  But i am lucky because i dont think that everyone cheats as some do, i think maybe i was just taken in by her beauty so much that i let signals slide by that i would normally catch, she was total eye candy.  Every time i watch the movie Casino, it reminds me of her in the way that she uses everyone around her to get what she wants and she is devoted to none of them.  Some of that characters traits were exactly like hers.  It also reminds me not to be so blind in the future, not suspicious but when something does not add up to listen more to my gut. 

You seem very wize and that is also a good trait to have, as well as you seem compassionate which is wonderful... Thank you for the great advice and i hope you have a really wonderful day, you deserve it...    :)
 
Dont give up sir!  I am a country boy in rural USA and can assure you not all of us small town folks keep to ourselves.  When I bought my property in 1998, I made it a point to get out and meet folks in my area.  I became friends with most of them and have befriended several others that have moved to the area since I did.  I find it easier to make friends in an unincorporated rural area than in a town or big city because I do not fit in at all in those places.  It is also why I like camping over any other type of "vacationing".  I have met some of the nicest people at campgrounds, much like the folks that live in the rural areas.  Some of them are urban folks who just like to get away from the busy city life and some are rural folks like me who enjoy nature and rural life in a different place sometimes.  Dont give up on the lifestyle just because of a few bad experiences.
 
Dave
What's up? Have you looked at more property or have things smoothed out for you?
 
Well the thing is that life has a rule "just when you think you have it all planned out - things change".  It turns out after 25 years two of my adult sons are moving to New Mexico to get competely away from their mothers poisoness ways.  They are having to stay with my folks until they can get a place (they already have jobs when they get there). 

But my dad mentioned to me that i should move back there today and i am trying to figure out what to do.  I love my sons but i HATE NM...  So everything is still up in the air.  No calls so far on the ad i have selling this place.  I know if i ever sell ill NEVER be able to get another home, ill end up in some lousy apartment never amounting to beans.  If i dont sell and move back to NM then ill end up in some ugly desert park with snakes and tumble weeds and my RV will rot in the sun.

I feel like one way i am a good dad but a lousey me, and the other way i am selfish and a bad dad but happy with my environment.

Who knows what will happen, tomorrow might be something new lol....   
 
Well, another rule is that it could always be worse. I'd be very careful to not box yourself into a corner and be stuck in an apartment. I'd take an 8x8 plywood shack before an apartment. It's a drain on resources to keep making moves into and out of RVs. If you own the lot you're on now you could always take a break from it and return to it if needed.

If you don't have the resources to buy a house or want to maintain it I would absolutely hang on to that fifth wheel no way would I get rid of that. The fifth wheel is a home in Florida Texas New Mexico Arizona anywhere you want to go.

People often think of NM as being like south Texas or AZ but it's winter is colder because most of it is at higher elevation. I spent a couple weeks near Deming last January and it got a little colder than I like. The days were usually nice though with plenty of sunshine.

What area of NM would you be in?
 
Dave this has really been an interesting thread and I wish you all the best.  But you had one small mention which really rang my bell.  You said:  " I realized that some small towns just don't like new people."

When I retired from the Air Force we built a home on the wide open prairies of North Dakota and enrolled our children in a consolidated school (8 schools went together) that covered a large area.  We even bought a small town grocery store which the wife ran and I worked in the ag business (farm, elevator, fertilizer plant) for 15 years.  All of the kids graduated from that high school and we all attended the same church in a very small town (less than 300). We have lots of 'friends' but we soon learned that small towns and rural areas are usually populated by just a few families and there is no way to break into any of those families unless you marry in. So while we may have been accepted we were not really ever recognized as 'equals' for purposes of relationships.  We lived like that for 15 years and the kids would constantly tell us how they were referred to in school as outsiders.  They said even 10 and 11 year old kids would call them outsiders and they actually had lived there longer than the ones calling them outsiders.  How did we solve that problem. The way we should have years earlier - we moved but still consider ourselves friends with several in that town.

Good luck with your future Dave.

Bill
 
Well the awful truth is that we only make 3 or 4 lifelong friends.  I go back to the small town I grew up in and I'm jut another outsider.  Been gone over fifty years.

In VN I made friends that were really important to me.  Trouble is we are all spread out and with one or two exceptions, out of touch now.

When i went to work for the FAA I was hired in with a pretty large group.  Made lots of friends and am still in touch with a few of them to this day.

In 1983 I transferred back home to Minnesota.  Ever hear of Minnesota Nice?  Nice to your face but you"re are not part of their clique.  Even though I grew up here I was referred to as that southerner.  Didn't matter, I overcame all of that anyway.  My Son went to school and he was a pretty good baseball pitcher in Virginia.  In Minnesota they wouldn't even through the ball to him.

Of course I eventually did make friends here, but mostly they are neighbors who I have known for a long time or hunting friends.

In the end I and my Wife live pretty much isolated in the country and we like it that way.  I think to really be happy you have to learn to be happy with yourself.  Now that's a hard row to hoe, but I have, and the trip was hard, but the destination is so worth it.  Now if someone wants to be my friend, OK, otherwise I'll treat you with respect, but in any case, lead, follow, or get out of the way, I don't need you.

 
Cooperhawk said

"Well the awful truth is that we only make 3 or 4 lifelong friends."

"I think to really be happy you have to learn to be happy with yourself. " 

Very true.
 

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
131,753
Posts
1,384,359
Members
137,524
Latest member
freetoroam
Back
Top Bottom