RVMommato6 said:
My 2 cents, Dave. I'm single, so I get feeling like the odd man out when you're surrounded by couples. (My husband left me, in his 40s, for a 20 year old girl.) On top of that, I have 6 kids, so I'm not out dating or getting daily invites to friend's houses for dinner. There are people who are put off by me before ever hearing a word out of my mouth, it's not as bad now, but when I had 6 kids all under 8, I would get comments, literally on a daily basis, from strangers. Usually those involved whether I had ever heard of birth control (which is ironic because my kids are all adopted). Anyway, my point, yup there is one lol, is that I've felt depression and hopelessness and a feeling like nobody cares, but they do. Let them. Go do things for other people. Volunteer. Listen to people. Strive to hear instead of be heard. And you'll find your people, maybe not the first people you come across, but your people are out there. If RVing is something you love, and idk that it is, but IF it is, don't give it up over one bad experience.
Hi Amanda, that was a wonderful reply thank you so much, and it was worth much more than 2 cents. Every day i remind myself not to let the isolation get to me and not to fall into dispare when faced with certain challenges. So even though i feel im strong, many times there are just as many holes in my armor as there is armor to cover me lol... Even rocks have a breaking point.
I am so very sorry that you had to go through that experience, it is heartbreaking when the ones we give ourselves to hurt us. Especially when children are involved. I sounds like you have done well to keep your spirits up and i am glad you have, you seem like someone with grit of your own and that is a character trait that is so important to have so please dont ever lose that grit.
I have three boys but not with me, my divorce was a bitter one even though i tried to make it no so. I divorced her because she was very abusive not only to me but to the children, but back in those days the mom got the kids unless it was proven she was unfit and that was a challenge as well. Now days they have alot better ways to be sure the kids are in good hands. I spent many years crying over my boys feeling like a worthless dad because i could not protect them from her. Everyone that has met my ex wife says two things pretty much "i never want to talk with her again" and or "how did you ever put up with her without going to prison for murder" my sons consider her a psycho and dont have anything to do with her. But i did finally get the chance to sit down with them and tell them about me and life and as it should have been for us and all the things i wanted to say and do but could not before.
13 years ago i dated a girl for two years and thought she was the one, our sex life was out of this world awesome and we got along so very well. Then i found out she had been cheating on me the whole time, it was all a game to her. She told some people we were getting married, she told others i would not leave her alone, she told others i was just one of many. When i began to suspect something was wrong and things didnt add up i ask questions and she always had an answer why she was going to work with no panties on, why she kept a makup kit in the truck of her car, why it appeared she just had sex. She always convinced me i was wrong and she was very good at it. So good that i could not even begin to think she was cheating because it would just hurt too much. I just thought she had other job somewhere she didnt want to tell me about in a dance club or something.
In the end she told me i was a love sick fool and she ended up chasing her ex to alaska because he left without her which made her want him more and i was just too easy and not enough challenge for her. She told me heck dave you dont even have the nuts to tell me i am being a b... when i am one. I said well thats not my job, if you want to be a b.... well then you choose to not make this a happy experience, i dont control your choices you do and if you want this to work then dont be a b.... if you dont then be a b.... one of her other boyfriends was standing in my apartment with her child and i ask him to leave, he refused and i was helpless to make him leave since he was holding a child.
I ended up falling apart totally callapsing on the living room floor as i watched them leave with her stuff and feeling like the worlds dumbest fool. I began to cry outloud not carring if anyone heard me and i could not stop for hours and hours. That moment changed me as i felt something break within me just as if a bone was breaking. I have never been the same since, i dont know what broke whether it was my hope, my innocense, my will or what but i have had a huge dead hole inside me ever since.
Cheaters never realize or care about the pain, desaster, and wreckage they leave behind. But i am lucky because i dont think that everyone cheats as some do, i think maybe i was just taken in by her beauty so much that i let signals slide by that i would normally catch, she was total eye candy. Every time i watch the movie Casino, it reminds me of her in the way that she uses everyone around her to get what she wants and she is devoted to none of them. Some of that characters traits were exactly like hers. It also reminds me not to be so blind in the future, not suspicious but when something does not add up to listen more to my gut.
You seem very wize and that is also a good trait to have, as well as you seem compassionate which is wonderful... Thank you for the great advice and i hope you have a really wonderful day, you deserve it...