I met someone

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RVMommaTo6 said:
. He has some great qualities like not living in his parent's basement, not being an alcoholic, lol stuff like that.

Is this where we are setting the bar.......DAMN ....I'm quite the catch....My wife better started treating me nicer ;D
 
Tom, why didn't you say so?!?! Lol
Yeah that's a low bar, it just seemed to be that so many guys fell into one or both categories for a while lol
 
Yeah, it stinks while you're apart, no doubt about that, but if he's The One, you'll look back at those 10 months, realize they made your relationship stronger, and they'll be fond memories in your future together. We often laugh about having endured so much time apart, but it definitely makes us appreciate being together. We never take that for granted. I hope that for you, too. :)
 
Dont get too high or too low about it all, take your trip and focus on that which has been your plan all along.  Dont let this little thing intrude on that because if it does not work out you will regret the misplaced focus.    Also the fact that you met someone says that you had your flag up on the mail box so its not so shocking. 

Go on about your business and if he is there when you get back, great, if not well then you have not lost anything.  Companionship is cool, but love is overrated.

Wishing you the best trip ever for you and the kids, that is what matters now and its all that matters!
 
?Companionship is cool, but love is overrated.?

I have to disagree. For anybody that has found that person and you truly are in love it is anything but overrated. We have been together for 46 years. We dated for 3 months before we got married. I cannot imagine being with anyone else. She makes me so mad at times but then she turns around and makes my heart melt. Love is only overrated for those that are not willing to make it work. 46 years and I think she is just as gorgeous as she was on our wedding day.
 

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I have to fully agree with the 'gator --52 happy years. When the term "complement" is used for a wife, that's an exact description of mine.

?Companionship is cool, but love is overrated.?
I think it is underrated by those who haven't experienced what it really means.
 
I dont want to change the tone or focus of this post but to explain my comment, what i am referring to when i say "overrated" are generally 3 things. 

1. Todays love and devotion compared to love and devotion of the my parents generation.  Back then love was not overated, love was real and devotion was real.  Today that is not the case. People today change partners like changing the toilet paper roll, it seems just that thoughtless.  So compared to the old days, yes today love is overrated. 

2.  Many of todays couples dont get into it for love, they get into it for financial gain, its easier for two incomes to make a living than it is one.  So many make the mistake of marrying for the wrong reason.  They marry for money, they marry to get out of their parents home, they marry when they are not mentally prepared for what it takes to make it work, or they marry because one is pregnant.  Love and friendship is the only reason to ever get married, because when the looks and the money is gone, if you dont have your best friend then its over.

3.  Majority not minority -  There are exceptions Larry and Oldgator, but for the majority of the US population, they dont share your experience and who knows why.  But for some like yourselves (minority) love is a very special thing.  But for most (majority) love is indeed overrated, and that is reality. 

I am happy for you both :)
 
  56 here,, married the day after Christmas 1962.. I still introduce her as my "first" wife.>>>Dan ( Never wanted any other)
 
durangod said:
I dont want to change the tone or focus of this post but to explain my comment, what i am referring to when i say "overrated" are generally 3 things. 

1. Todays love and devotion compared to love and devotion of the my parents generation.  Back then love was not overated, love was real and devotion was real.  Today that is not the case. People today change partners like changing the toilet paper roll, it seems just that thoughtless.  So compared to the old days, yes today love is overrated. 

2.  Many of todays couples dont get into it for love, they get into it for financial gain, its easier for two incomes to make a living than it is one.  So many make the mistake of marrying for the wrong reason.  They marry for money, they marry to get out of their parents home, they marry when they are not mentally prepared for what it takes to make it work, or they marry because one is pregnant.  Love and friendship is the only reason to ever get married, because when the looks and the money is gone, if you dont have your best friend then its over.

3.  Majority not minority -  There are exceptions Larry and Oldgator, but for the majority of the US population, they dont share your experience and who knows why.  But for some like yourselves (minority) love is a very special thing.  But for most (majority) love is indeed overrated, and that is reality. 

I am happy for you both :)

So sad you had to post this. Equally sad that you chose a photo of a WWII draft dodger as your profile picture. Research John Wayne and WWII.
 
Amanda, that guy must be pretty special if he is willing to get involved with a mother of 6. I know from experience that establishing a working relationship with another's children is not an easy task and it does not always work.
durangod, I know you are cynical, we have talked privately, but real love and devotion is out there. I found the love of my life when I least expected to, I tell people I was clotheslined by a blonde and woke up married, but unfortunately lost her to cancer. However she gave me the best years of my life and I hope to find that magic again.
 
After 56 years, the closest we came to breaking up occured August of 83 when my first born son at 19 was killed in a motorcycle accident,( no other vehicles involved).. She could not wrap her head around the FACT that he was gone, took four years of extreme Patience before she normalized.>>>D
 
I cannot imagine a greater pain than losing a child even if he was an adult. My best friend lost a son to cancer, she is still grieving after 10 years.
 
Amanda,
1. He'll be there when you return, else it wasn't going to keep going anyway. You've both made commitments that are inconvenient for now, but over time you both will have opportunities to shift course if you choose to. Ten months is a drop in the bucket.
2. Be glad you have someone to come back to because you're going to have such a great time on your trip that you otherwise would HATE having it come to an end.
3. Important, enduring relationships are recognized in hindsight, not predicted. Take it as it comes and be true to yourself.
4. Technology really does shrink distance. One of my daughters lives over 3,000 miles away. We physically visit each other only every few years, yet we're closer and more involved in each others' lives today than we were when she lived in the same town 20 years ago.
 
Oldgator73 said:
So sad you had to post this. Equally sad that you chose a photo of a WWII draft dodger as your profile picture. Research John Wayne and WWII.

That's been debated for decades, but who really cares? Sources say that Wayne tried to enlist, but the studio pulled strings to prevent it. There was also some doubt that he would have passed the physical, due to the injury that ended his football career (and led to his first studio job in the prop department).

In any event, he would have ended up making movies for the government just like many other Hollywood types.
 
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but i dont like it when people put down my hero and the man that was and is a big part of my developed character today.  The memory of JW keeps me grounded when everything is crazy, it reminds me to be strong and not to get too close to the edge.  There are other things but i wont go into that here, he was and is an american hero and will always be that to me. 

If by cynical you mean "believing that people of today are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity" then yes you are correct but i was not born that way.  If i ever had an experience to the opposite then i dont think i would be this way but that is not the case, it is a learned feeling, and it took a long time and a hard road to break down my innocence. 

Amanda, time will tell and until that time noone can say which way it will go, i hope it goes well and if it makes you happy then that is what is important.  I have learned to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, but that is just me and has nothing to do with the guy you met, he may be a shining star and i hope he is. 

 
Congratulations Amanda!

I've had to read your post numerous times.  I just can't quite get my head around what you are saying as I've never heard a woman talk this way.  :eek: What you've said sounds more like 'guy talk' - I've heard it numerous times from guys.  So, I'm stunned - in a positive way. I think I would like you!!  ;)

Probably turning this into a therapy session... sorry...
I met my sweetheart late in elementary school, dated thru high school, then married her and had a wonderful 23 years of marriage (at least in my opinion).  Then she met someone else and walked out (eight years ago) on me and our three sons.  After eight years, I'm still not over it/her and completely understand the less than positive comments about 'modern' love/marriage. I always thought I was a trusting type. Now I'm not sure I could trust again and really question whether the "risk" of trying/trusting again is worth it.  I mention that as you talk about the time commitment - that is part the 'risk' (IMO).  Of course, the pain of losing someone is huge (at least it is/was for me) and that is large part of the 'risk' (again, IMO).  All the books I've read and doctors I've talked to say you MUST keep trying, be open, be vulnerable. They are probably right - but back to what you said (sorry) - I've heard from guy friends the exact same things about the ladies they meet and that scares me (rushing in). I think I'm where you are - 'let's be friends and see where it goes over the next couple years' - which leads me to the question; what is your personality type?!?  Where does a guy find ladies that think like you??  ;D  ;)
 
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