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Author Topic: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions  (Read 874 times)

djw2112

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Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« on: April 09, 2020, 11:51:00 AM »
Hi, as most of us have done, we tried to save bags of concrete for another job and low and behold when the time comes the bag has harded completely from the humidity.    But rather than toss it away i decided to use it as a fake headstone in my yard. 

It will be painted white today and this weekend i would like to put some black text on it.  That is where y'all come in.  I would like suggestions for funny text.   I have thought of a few myself but would like some suggestions as i am not yet sold 100% on my thoughts.

Here is what i have thought of so far...  Of course some of them are alittle long, text space is limited.

1.  R.I.P.
2.  Here lies my virginity
3.  I shoot every 10th sales person, number 9 just left.     (too long)
4.  Here lies evil  (meaning that evil is dead - no evil here on this land)
5.   ?      (just the question mark nothing more)
6.  Boot Hill
7.  Here lies Disco 
8.  We have been waiting for you
9.   The headstone is white, but where you are going is very dark   (too long)
10.  Beatlejuice...Beatlejuice...

More sugestions please.... thanks

here is a pic

« Last Edit: April 09, 2020, 11:53:24 AM by djw2112 »
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SMR

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2020, 12:11:14 PM »
Next...
Gonna put the world away for a minute......
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Joezeppy

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2020, 01:09:43 PM »
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Isaac-1

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2020, 01:14:00 PM »
Salesman #1
Salesman #2
Salesman #3
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Jim18655

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2020, 01:43:19 PM »
Last dog that pooped here
Dog's owner

Great Horned Owl

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2020, 02:22:14 PM »
I think you have too much time on your hands.
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Photog

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2020, 02:28:08 PM »
Rodney Dangerfield's says "Rodney Dangerfield  There goes the Neighborhood".
Bill
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Molaker

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2020, 02:43:57 PM »
"I told you I was sick."
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muskoka guy

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2020, 03:25:17 PM »
Put your BBQ beside it. Then you can write "Until we MEAT again".

Isaac-1

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2020, 03:50:15 PM »
"I told you I was sick."

My father in law has that on his actual headstone.
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jayc2640

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2020, 04:48:30 PM »
I always liked this one from a tombstone at boot hill in Tombstone, AZ. 

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a forty four
No Les
No more
- John Coffey
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djw2112

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2020, 05:25:23 PM »
I think you have too much time on your hands.

Thats a strange thing to put on a fake headstone lol hee hee
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SpencerPJ

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2020, 05:35:26 PM »
How about

I was just dying to get here
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Oldgator73

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2020, 05:52:34 PM »
I used to work for a company doing gas pipeline inspections. Went to a lot of podunk towns in rural Tennessee. Saw this on a tombstone in one of those little towns:

HERE LIES FRED
SHOT DED BY BILL
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djw2112

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2020, 06:09:23 AM »
All good ones folks... its gonna be a hard choice...

I also thought of a few more..

1. Escape Hatch
2. Secret Gov Entrance here
3. Occupancy 1
4. Basement Entrance
5. Welcome


I used to work for a company doing gas pipeline inspections. Went to a lot of podunk towns in rural Tennessee. Saw this on a tombstone in one of those little towns:

HERE LIES FRED
SHOT DED BY BILL


Yeah i saw one similar to that, then next to that it said    HERE LIES BILL, HUNG FOR KILLING FRED

« Last Edit: April 10, 2020, 06:11:26 AM by djw2112 »
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X-Roughneck

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2020, 06:57:07 AM »
                      Here Lies

                     COVID 19

We Warned you, Not to Mess with Us!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQu5ksNreVY

My X-Father in Law went to school with Waylon Jennings in Littlefield, TX
« Last Edit: April 10, 2020, 07:13:29 AM by X-Roughneck »
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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2020, 08:27:18 AM »
Breakin' in
      seemed like fun,

until this crook
       met my gun.











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Roy M

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2020, 10:23:43 AM »
A restaurant chain had signs along Washington state highways, one series read Car in ditch. Driver in tree. Moon was full. So was he. Eat at Noot's.

SpencerPJ

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2020, 12:24:12 PM »
This thread is morbid   :o ;)  ;D ;D
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Oldgator73

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2020, 01:32:57 PM »
This thread is morbid   :o ;)  ;D ;D

I think it’s “Killer” and maybe “To Die For”.  8)
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msw3113

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2020, 06:45:15 AM »
This thread is morbid   :o ;)  ;D ;D

I think it’s “Killer” and maybe “To Die For”.  8)

You guys slay me.
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Oldgator73

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2020, 09:48:22 AM »
You guys slay me.

Every time we pass a cemetery I say “People are dying to get in there” and the grandkids laugh every time.
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Oldgator73

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2020, 09:51:19 AM »
Difference between graveyard and cemetery
Cemetery is a burial ground whereas graveyard is a burial ground in a churchyard. Thus, the main difference between cemetery and graveyard is their location.
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Jim18655

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #23 on: April 11, 2020, 12:48:14 PM »
Every time we pass a cemetery I say “People are dying to get in there” and the grandkids laugh every time.

That's why the fence around them.

Oldgator73

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2020, 04:58:51 PM »
That's why the fence around them.

So folks can’t get in or so folks can’t get out? ;D
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PopPop51

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2020, 06:22:21 PM »
Come on folks. The OP is gravely serious about this.
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Rene T

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2020, 07:30:38 PM »
So folks can’t get in or so folks can’t get out? ;D
. I use to ask my grandchildren how many people are dead in that cemetery and they’d say I don’t know and I’d say all of them.
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muskoka guy

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2020, 08:18:54 PM »
. I use to ask my grandchildren how many people are dead in that cemetery and they’d say I don’t know and I’d say all of them.
That's right up there with the joke, "if a plane crashes on the border of Canada, and the USA, which side do they bury the survivors on?"

jackiemac

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2020, 02:56:27 AM »
You're standing on my head.
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Jim18655

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Re: Fake Headstone Text Suggestions
« Reply #29 on: April 12, 2020, 07:44:55 AM »
That's right up there with the joke, "if a plane crashes on the border of Canada, and the USA, which side do they bury the survivors on?"

If a ship carrying red paint hits a ship carrying blue paint what happens to the survivors?


They're marooned.