Socializing in RV parks - is it just my experience so far?

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We are at a Good Sam Rally in Eustis, Fl right now enjoying the fellow campers as well as making many new friends. I have never seen a friendler bunch in my travels but then they are all here for one common purpose. This is our second rally this year with the first being the Freightliner Chassis Owners Club in Myrtle Beach. Never thought I would enjoy the Rallies but these 2 have changed my mind.
 
Looking from the other direction, I've seen a few posts here about noticing people watching and not offering to help when help was wanted. I didn't see any of the posters, some of whom cosider themselves friendly and outgoing, state that they ASKED for help and were turned down. You see, it seems to me that if you wanted help, you would ask for it, not talk later that I didn't offer it.

You see it's a fine line between being helpful and being a pest. Or if it was a woman involved, would we see a post about someone who thought a woman couldn't do it by herself?

Ken
 
I won't ask for help, I would have to be in dire straits before I would.  I figure that guys would think why does she have the thing if she can't handle it herself.  Now on the other hand if someone offers I will generally let them help unless its something I can easily do.

I remember one time there were 3 older, yep older them me standing and watching, then asked if I needed help.  Sometimes my bolts are hard to get out of the toad so I let them. They then moved my car and parked it and had it all unhooked and done so quick I was kind of standing there with my mouth open.  I thanked them all.

I want to be able to do it myself and not make folks feel beholden.

 
I have to admit I am one of those that likes to grab a cold one, sit down in the camping chair and watch others park there rigs and set up camp. Sometimes it can be very amusing. Now with that said I will offer help if help is needed and if the person looks receptive to it. I usually walk up introduce myself as there neighbor and explain that I am probably no better than they are at this but sometimes an extra pair of eyes will help. They can then except help or not, it doesn't hurt my feelings if they turn me down. I will just go back to the cold one and my chair and be amused.


Jay T
 
Reading these comments reminds me that over my many years I have always offered to help anyone when it seemed the thing to do. Usually the help is appreciated.

I do remember three times though when the help was a mistake on my part.

One was when I noticed two young ladies with a flat tire. They were standing, just looking, at the flat tire. I told them that I would be happy to change the tire for them if they would open the trunk of their car. I did changed the tire but all the time that I was working they contually made comments that I "was obviously just showing off and since I was a man I must think that women are not capable to do anything on their own". Their comments were insulting to me but I continued to get the tire changed and the car down off the jack.

I think that I rubbed them the wrong way at the end. When I put the flat tire and wheel back in the car trunk the jack was still laying on the ground. I told them, "That should do it. When you get to a station or tire shop you should get the flat tire fixed".

One of the woman then said, "Aren't you going to put the jack away?"

Being and old cumugeon, I just said, "I'm sure that as a woman you are capable of doing things on your own." Then I just walked away.
 
Rancher Will said:
One was when I noticed two young ladies with a flat tire. They were standing, just looking, at the flat tire. I told them that I would be happy to change the tire for them if they would open the trunk of their car. I did changed the tire but all the time that I was working they contually made comments that I "was obviously just showing off and since I was a man I must think that women are not capable to do anything on their own". Their comments were insulting to me but I continued to get the tire changed and the car down off the jack.

I may, (or may not be a gentleman), but as soon as there was a comment and an answered agreement, the tools would have gone down, I'd have thanked them for their comments, and gone and sat nearby... and then if any other men stopped to help, I'd give them a shout and a heads up, that those ladies were quite capable of changing it themselves, but that they were setting a trap, to upset any man that actually tried to help them!

I would probably catch it in the neck from the DW, but as soon as she heard what was happening, she'd bring me a chair and a drink and we'd have watched them all day! ;D
 
Wow, so many interesting replies.  I've enjoyed reading all the posts.

I do agree, when I'm hitching up or unhitching, I'd rather be left alone.  If help is offered I will politely decline and ask if we can chat once I'm done.  If I do need help I am not shy about asking for it. 

Case in point, just last night I rolled in to a campground right as darkness fell (having been bumped from where I'd been staying since I didn't have a reservation and there was a festival going on).  Anyway, I pulled in to the site and man next door immediately came out of his motorhome.  Apparently (for whatever reason) he and his wife had paid for two sites so they could have two electrical hookups.  If I stayed in the site I'd chosen, he would have to unplug his second power cord.  I didn't mind moving at all (and told him so).  But then he wanted to chat, said "You're pulling in so slow, you must not have driven that thing very much by yourself." 

Little did he know this is my second cross-country trip in the Gypsy and I can handle her pretty well.  Now I do NOT know it all, far from it, and I was not offended by his comment.  I was pulling in slow because I was watching out for the overhanding tree limbs, and also paying attention to where the sewer hookup was (why do parks put the sewer hookups SO far from the typical output location on trailers?) 

Anyway, I did hate telling him "I hate to cut you off, but I have about ten minutes of daylight left to find another spot and get hooked up for the night.  Thanks, let's chat later, hope you have a good night."  It didn't help that the wind was howling at post 20 mph and the temp was dropping fast.  I haven't seen anyone else in this small park since, apparently everybody stayed inside today since the weather was so blustery.  I unhitched this morning, found a grocery store to buy dog food, then took my camera out for a walk around town.  Turns out this is a very interesting and funky place, with very nice people (Carrizozo New Mexico).

I do realize that circumstances and perceptions are key in all of this.  I'd have to read back up to find the author, but one lady mentioned directly speaking to someone in a neighboring RV and having that person purposely turn their back without comment.  That is what I was really referring to with this thread.  All I can say is "bless their hearts" (yes, I am from the South and proud of it).  A few courteous words never killed anybody.   

Thanks for all of the comments and insights, this has been interesting.

WW
 
Very interesting read with so many different view points I had not considered. I too have noticed some (what I used to think was) unfriendliness. However, I think this thread has changed my mind.  :)
 
Whirlwind said:
One lady mentioned directly speaking to someone in a neighboring RV and having that person purposely turn their back without comment.  That is what I was really referring to with this thread.  All I can say is "bless their hearts" (yes, I am from the South and proud of it).  A few courteous words never killed anybody.   

Thanks for all of the comments and insights, this has been interesting.

WW

My wife does not show it but is totally deaf in one ear, (due to surgery), I sit on the deaf side if we are in company, as I'll touch her on the arm if I want or need to add a comment to the conversation, otherwise I sit on her hearing side, is it possible that the person you were talking to that turned away was deaf?
 
That is very true, I have several friends who I know are hard of hearing, but I forget when they misunderstand sometimes.
 
ArdraF said:
Mark, as one of the other female drivers in this forum (Marsha - "little ole me" - being one of us), I have to say that some men can be REALLY overbearing and irritating thinking that because we're women we don't know what we're doing.  In the case Marsha mentioned, that man should have figured out she and Tim knew what they were doing and by overriding their routine, he was out of line and should have backed off.  If more eyes are needed to help make sure someone doesn't back into something, that's one thing, but if things are under control then maybe help isn't needed or wanted.

ArdraF

Bravo!  Sorry for replying so late in the thread.  BUT...
This has been one of the most interesting threads I have read on this forum! 

Instead of a quick reply, I chose to just read for a while. 
So many stories and points of view.  So many portrayals of how they would react in such a situation.  Very interesting.

Men can be "overbearing".  So can women.  Such as those who think men don't think women can accomplish the task at hand.  Ironic, isn't it?

Regardless, it was fun reading for the past few days.  The feeling I get from most all who responded was help is a common denominator.  We just don't all know how to ask/act if someone else wants/needs help.  Or how to offer help without coming on like a charging bull.

 
I also think it's been an interesting exchange.  And, you're right, about the communication part.  With all relationships, there has to be communication and that's certainly true in the situations we've been describing.  Maybe the key to good communication is having the ability to "read" the other person's vocalizations and body language.  It's a tough nut to crack, but maybe this exchange will help a lot of us be more aware of it and "do better" in the future.  Heck, every married couple knows how difficult it is to achieve!

I've been thinking about the comment I made earlier about Marsha's neighbor who wanted to take over her task of directing Tim.  We have expensive toys (aka RVs) that we're trying to maneuver and only the owner/s should have the responsibility to get it parked safely.  We always figure that we're the ones who have to pay to have damages repaired, so we should be the ones giving directions to one another.  On the other hand, in a place with a lot of trees, overhanging braches, boulders, and the like, it's nice to know there's an extra set of eyes with a mouth attached that can yell "Stop!" if necessary.  By way of example, we were in one campground and it had been a bad night with rain and subsequent leaks and then contending with mud when leaving the next morning.  We interrupted our normal "leaving" routine and one of the slides was stopped when it was still out a few inches.  There was so much mud we didn't do our normal walkaround and neither of us realized the slide wasn't fully in.  There were lots of people out watching us drive by and not a single one shouted or waved their arms that our slide was not retracted so, of course, we managed to hit it (actually "just" the awning) as we were turning out of the campground.  Luckily we only damaged our own property, but that was one of those cases where we really would have appreciated some frantic arm waving.  We point to people's TV antennas that are still up, so why wouldn't people point to a slide that's still out???  Guess it takes all kinds....

ArdraF
 
ArdraF said:
Guess it takes all kinds....

ArdraF

The understatement of the year. 

My Grandfather used to say "It takes all kinds of people to make a world".

He was right.  That's why I would rather get the over zealous helper a cup of coffee rather than send him/her home with the tail between their legs.

But that's just me.
 
A couple of years ago I was leaving our site in Florida. I had forgotten to lower the DirecTv antenna. As I drove off I saw a forum framily member looking quite anxious several hundred yards away. Not thinking about it I turned the corner to another street. As I drove down the street another resident motioned to me and said my antenna was up. I immediately hit the store button and, as it was coming down, that forum framily member was coming around the corner in front of me to inform me of the situation. Now that's two people who saved me quite an expense had I continued on our trip not knowing the antenna was not stored.

I will accept anyones help as long as it is constructive, not a criticism.
 
I recently stayed someplace where an inexperienced driver showed up late and while attepting to park had several neighbors comeover to help.  Too muched mixed advise in my opinion.  I simply placed my lantern on top of tue power post so that it could be seen and walked away.  The guy thanked me after everyone left and said that all he really needed was to be able to see where he was going.

Jeff
 
We like and somewhat prefer the national and state forests and BLM camping areas.

1. Take new motor home. Meet nice folks and some even come to our campfire with beverages.

2. Take the old pick up and the restored 1969 Security Industries 13 foot 'Traveler' bare bones camping trailer.......not a moments peace.  ;D
The first question is usually, "How cute. Did you build that yourself?" :)
"No. But I have had it forever and restored it."
"Oh really? Can I see inside?"
My Grandson calls it 'Granda's chick magnet.' (Yep. He's a little trouble maker. LOL)
 
Miss Mermaid, some people DO have a problem with single women RVing alone.  This is especially true if she is a "non-standard model" like I am.  ;D 

I've been RVing since the mid-90s and fulltiming since 1999.  My first RV was a Collins fifth wheel, so I joined the local Collins owners' club.  On the first rally, the men closest to where I had to park rushed over to ground-guide me. It was open with no trees or other obstacles, so I politely declined their offers.  I was a semi driver in the Army and pretty much know what I am doing.

When it came to social hours, I preferred to sit with the men and talk "tech."  This seemed to arouse suspicion in some of the wives.  They grilled me about my kids (none), husband or boyfriend (none) "crafts" I did (none), and my favorite recipes to cook (none).  After that some of them watched me like a hawk and one even dragged her husband away from me when he and I were conversing about something technical.  ::)

This seemed to happen repeatedly.  Granted, at the time I was younger and slimmer.  ;)  But I really did run into this situation occasionally at several different kinds of RV rallies.  Some wives seemed to accept me better when I had a boyfriend for a while.  It was pretty bizarre at times.  Ladies, I am not after your men!  ;D  I am just fairly friendly and outgoing most of the time.

On the subject of attitudes at campgrounds and RV parks, I have found that as a single woman RVing in a decent looking 30-ft travel trailer, I have occasionally sensed (and confirmed) negative attitudes from some motorhomers.  I just joke about being "trailer trash" and keep on trucking.  This does seem to happen more frequently at RV parks (I seldom use them) than at "public" campgrounds.

I am always happy to accept competent, non-condescending help if I ask for it.  ;D
 
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