Post a joke
- Thread starter 1joester2
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Back2PA
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2015
- Posts
- 5,766
SeilerBird
Well-known member
I had a friend named Leon. He named his first born daughter Noel, which is Leon backwards.Back2PA said:
Oldgator73
Well-known member
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6d/1b/3a/6d1b3a3bde99b72a2a6d9b92b1b0628b.gif
Alaskansnowbirds
Site Team
How Cheers handles the virus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncc77oxnx5A&pbjreload=10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncc77oxnx5A&pbjreload=10
John From Detroit
Well-known member
Oldgator73 said:
Noel is also the first name of Paul Stokey (Noel Paul Stokey) author of "The Christmas Dinner"
One of the songs I think deserves a lot more circulation
In that town, the happiest Christmas
Was shared by candlelight.
BinaryBob
Moderator Emeritus
John From Detroit
Well-known member
Jim18655 said:
Someone mentioned he figured out the TP craze.
One person coughs.
10 have a sudden need for TP (not to mention clean undies).
B
Boat Addict
Guest
Dear Students,
Due to the coronavirus , school in under new management . Please observe the following rule changes. from your new teacher.
1. Monday is PJ day. Forget it. Everyday is PJ day.
2.There is no lunch lady. 12:00 noon is Culinary Arts . Make yourself something. Peanuts are now allowed. Cover everything with peanut butter if you want to.
3.Starting today you can wear open toed shoes to every class. Pants are optional. Underwear is not.
4.If you misbehave, you will be sent to Dad's office for detention.
5.If you don't understand your assignment, ask your sibling. I probably don't get it either.
6. Don't drink out of the teacher's Yeti.
7.School begins after my first cup of coffee and ends just as abruptly at cocktail hour, which will be adjusted depending on how big a disaster the day has been.
8.No you cannot have a PE excuse.
9.You do not need to announce how long you have been in the bathroom and how things turned out. Just go.
10.If you hit your sister I will swat you. There are no ethics. I was tenured long before you made your way on the planet. And I sleep with the principal. Try me.
This is going to be a really exciting trimester and I am so glad you are in my class.
Due to the coronavirus , school in under new management . Please observe the following rule changes. from your new teacher.
1. Monday is PJ day. Forget it. Everyday is PJ day.
2.There is no lunch lady. 12:00 noon is Culinary Arts . Make yourself something. Peanuts are now allowed. Cover everything with peanut butter if you want to.
3.Starting today you can wear open toed shoes to every class. Pants are optional. Underwear is not.
4.If you misbehave, you will be sent to Dad's office for detention.
5.If you don't understand your assignment, ask your sibling. I probably don't get it either.
6. Don't drink out of the teacher's Yeti.
7.School begins after my first cup of coffee and ends just as abruptly at cocktail hour, which will be adjusted depending on how big a disaster the day has been.
8.No you cannot have a PE excuse.
9.You do not need to announce how long you have been in the bathroom and how things turned out. Just go.
10.If you hit your sister I will swat you. There are no ethics. I was tenured long before you made your way on the planet. And I sleep with the principal. Try me.
This is going to be a really exciting trimester and I am so glad you are in my class.
John From Detroit
Well-known member
Re School... SWIPED 
Bubba had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special
day, they'd each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Bubba's 21st birthday came a round, he and his pal Jim Bob, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Bubba stepped out of the boat .... and nearly drowned! Jim Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, 'it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him?'
Granny looked deeply into Bubba's troubled eyes and said, 'Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born
in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July, you dummy!
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special
day, they'd each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Bubba's 21st birthday came a round, he and his pal Jim Bob, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Bubba stepped out of the boat .... and nearly drowned! Jim Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, 'it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him?'
Granny looked deeply into Bubba's troubled eyes and said, 'Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born
in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July, you dummy!
Oldgator73
Well-known member
Joezeppy
Well-known member
A few to lighten the pandemic mood:
The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
You think it?s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers!
Day 21 at home and the dog is looking at me like, ?See? This is why I chew the furniture!?
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
Me: "Alexa, what's the weather going to be like today?" Alexa: "Doesn't matter - you're not going anywhere."
The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
You think it?s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers!
Day 21 at home and the dog is looking at me like, ?See? This is why I chew the furniture!?
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
Me: "Alexa, what's the weather going to be like today?" Alexa: "Doesn't matter - you're not going anywhere."
dave54
Well-known member
I feel like I am 16 years old again.
Gas is under a $1 per gallon but I am grounded and can't go anywhere.
Gas is under a $1 per gallon but I am grounded and can't go anywhere.
Dragginourbedaround
Well-known member
I took my dog Max for a walk today. After stopping to pee he sat down and was licking himself. A guy walking by said, ?boy wish I could do that!? I told him you better pet him first, he?s kinda mean. ??
John From Detroit
Well-known member
dave54 said:
Truth for the most part.. I'm slowly filling my RV"s tank during this mess 5-10 gallons a week (I go shopping once a week or groceries some o which only last (Age out) in a week)
