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Author Topic: Post a joke  (Read 250727 times)

John From Detroit

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #780 on: February 24, 2018, 06:42:50 PM »
John, I think you posted about propane tanks under Jokes.

Happens some times that a post, for some reason, winds up in the wrong thread. NOt too often here though. more likely on Facebook

Ok Propane joke
:Question (This is from a genuine pump jockey test)
What happens if you get the right mixture of Propane and Air and there is a spark of flame

Answer: YOu land two counties over.

(NOTE: Teacher liked my answer).
Nothing adds excitement like something that is none of your business
My Home is where I park it.

Molaker

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #781 on: February 27, 2018, 01:00:48 PM »
A meme from FaceBook.  I hope this displays ok.
Tom & Joyce and Ditto the "don't tell her she's a dog" Westie
U.S. Navy (Ret)
2014 Winnebago ERA 70X 24' class B Sprinter chassis

Oldgator73

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #782 on: February 28, 2018, 01:57:45 PM »
The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of woman?”

God said, “Ah, yes.”

“Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.4. The intake is placed ! way too close to the exhaust.5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous.”

“Hmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.” God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

“Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

SHARE if it made you LAUGH 🙂
Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier
1952 Wife

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #783 on: March 09, 2018, 02:13:03 PM »
New Naval Ships Female Quarter Regulations:

Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private “OFF LIMITS” area on all aircraft carriers. While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, “Female sleeping quarters will be “out-of-bounds” for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time.”

And the Admiral continued, “Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?”

At this point, a US Marine from the security detail assigned to a ship stood up in the crowd and inquired, “How much for a season pass?”

God bless the Marine Corps! ;D ;D ;D

USMC 1965 to FOREVER!! 8) 8) 8)
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #784 on: March 09, 2018, 02:38:21 PM »
Here is the situation:

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop-off.

On your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.

What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?





See answer below:















Get off the merry-go-round and go home you old fart, you’ve had enough excitement for one day! ;D ;D
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #785 on: March 09, 2018, 10:05:38 PM »
A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

 He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It’s a good all-around combination, and it’s on sale this week for only $20.”

She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard,” he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?”

He replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel is $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

She paid it and left without saying a word.





« Last Edit: March 09, 2018, 10:09:03 PM by Tom Hoffman »
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #786 on: March 10, 2018, 09:02:51 AM »
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just hear him say all of these?

I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

jackiemac

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #787 on: March 10, 2018, 10:56:32 AM »
One for the girls!


What do you call a handcuffed man?

  Trustworthy.

 

  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling  your name?

  You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

 

  Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

  Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

 

  Why do men like smart women?

  Opposites attract.

 

  How are husbands like lawn mowers?

  They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time  they don't work.

 

  How can you tell when a man is well hung?

  When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the  noose.

 

  How do men define a "50/50" relationship?

  We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

 

  How do men exercise on the beach?

  By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

 

  How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

  Make him wear shoes.

 

  How does a man show he's planning for the future?

  He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

 

  How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?

  All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.

 

  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

  ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

 

  What did God say after creating man?

  I can do so much better.

 

  What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

  Any place without a drive-up window.

 

  What do you call a man with half a brain?

  Gifted.

 

  Why is it good that there are female astronauts?

  When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

 

  What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?

  Exchange him.

 

  What should you give a man who has everything?

  A woman to show him how to work it.

 
Jackie n Steve - Happy Scottish Travellers

2017 Heartland Sundance 288rls
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Back home in Scotland awaiting May 2019

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #788 on: March 10, 2018, 03:32:49 PM »
Very Good!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

jackiemac

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #789 on: March 10, 2018, 04:50:51 PM »
Jackie n Steve - Happy Scottish Travellers

2017 Heartland Sundance 288rls
2016 Dodge Ram 2500 6.4L Hemi

Back home in Scotland awaiting May 2019

flexitdriver

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #790 on: March 10, 2018, 06:42:06 PM »
I just answered the door to a fellow selling raffle tickets for orphaned Ethiopian children.
I said 'No Thanks'

Knowing my luck I'd probably buy the winning ticket! ;D
Allen
If you are not lost, you're not having fun!

In USA:
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And 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 'Toad'

In Australia:
Outback Class A 'Flinders' Motorhome on Isuzu NPR400 chassis and Suzuki Grand Vitara 'Toad'

biggersm

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #791 on: March 11, 2018, 07:46:20 PM »
At a baseball game the other day and I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger...then it hit me!
Mike and Marcia
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Back2PA

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #792 on: March 11, 2018, 07:55:13 PM »
One for the girls!

Back at ya!  ;)

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me...."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called "Wedding Cake."

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, SuffeRing.

Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning God created the Earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds:
"Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Scott
Fulltiming in a 2005 Newmar Dutch Star 3810, Cat 350
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Seon

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #793 on: March 11, 2018, 10:45:17 PM »
What three words you don't want to hear while having passionate sex?


"Honey I'm home".
Itasca 27' Spirit
Lake Camanche, CA

Roy M

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #794 on: March 11, 2018, 10:57:19 PM »
Know how to really annoy your wife while having sex?

Phone her
I recently heard a very funny story. A woman on a train was talking non stop to her husband or boyfriend on her cell phone while her seat mate was trying to get some sleep. He finally leaned over and said in a loud voice "Honey, will you please turn that off and come back to bed".

Dragginourbedaround

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #795 on: March 11, 2018, 11:06:29 PM »
Gene

2013 Winnebago Adventurer 37F
2011 Honda Fit

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #796 on: March 23, 2018, 06:12:47 PM »
Mortimer the Magnificent tried for ages to get into the circus. When Trevor’s Traveling Carnival came to town, he begged and pleaded with the owner to watch his act.

The owner finally agreed. Mortimer stepped into the centre ring and began flapping his arms wildly, and within moments he rose off the ground. As he went higher and faster, he began to do all kinds of tricks: barrel rolls and loop-the-loops, swan dives and somersaults. After about 20 minutes of this, Mortimer floated back down to the ground and landed gracefully right in front of the circus owner.

The owner took a puff on his cigar and asked “So what else do you do besides bird impersonations?”
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Punomatic

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #797 on: March 23, 2018, 07:29:01 PM »
There's an episode of M*A*S*H featuring that joke. It's a great one (um...joke and episode).  ;D
2016 Riverside White Water Retro 195
2014 Nissan Titan SL Crew Cab
DW and me and Pogo (the neurotic terrier-gone to the rainbow bridge) and Lulu (the Moxie with moxie)

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #798 on: March 25, 2018, 08:14:04 PM »
Retired Doctor

Cute Story, Enjoy
 
An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.
 
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."
 
Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
   
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"
 
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from  box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
 
Dr. Young: 'Aaagh! -- This is Gasoline!"
 
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!
 
You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
 
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
 
Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
 
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from  box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
 
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that is Gasoline!"
 
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
 
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
 
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"
 
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 bill).
 
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
 
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
 
 
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"
 
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to annoy us.
 
ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!



ModEdit: Fixed excessive text size -LS
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 02:07:37 AM by Lou Schneider »
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #799 on: March 27, 2018, 06:27:25 PM »
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday.

She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She said, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He said, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind, but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He said,

“That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB.test line. It’s a good all-around combination and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.”

She said, It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. Yes he replied, because I’m blind I have developed a keen sense of smell and hearing...

I’ll take it!” As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he said.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who ripped one. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and said, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asked, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?”

He replied, “Yes, Ma’am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Fish Bait is $3.50.”




Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Jim Godward

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #800 on: March 28, 2018, 01:19:35 AM »

I was eating breakfast with my teenaged Granddaughter and I asked her,
"What special day is it tomorrow?”
 
Without skipping a beat she said, "It's U.S. Congressman's Day!”
 
She's smart, so I asked her "What does that mean?"
 
I was not ready for what she was about to say.
 
She replied, "U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building
and see their shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit.”
 
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
Jim
Jim & Pat Godward
AC7PO & KD7ZDM
Hillsboro, Oregon

Bill N

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #801 on: March 28, 2018, 07:17:23 AM »
I resemble that joke.  Was that political???  I see political in that joke!!!   Okay by me............lol

Bill
Bill & Joan N in Missouri
USAF (Ret - 1961-1981)
2002 Winnebago Adventurer 35U
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2013 Chevy Sonic Toad
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John From Detroit

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #802 on: March 28, 2018, 07:36:44 AM »
Jim, when I recover from laughing my.... anatomy.... off I'll be sharing that one.
Nothing adds excitement like something that is none of your business
My Home is where I park it.

Fogetty

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #803 on: March 28, 2018, 01:38:27 PM »

Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"
 
ModEdit: Fixed excessive text size -LS

The way I heard it was, "Old age and cunning will overcome youth and skill every time."

An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road, and he’d fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he’d planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned and yelled back, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m just here to feed the alligator.”

Lowell

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #804 on: March 28, 2018, 01:48:58 PM »
The only cow in a small Iowa town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state line in Wisconsin for $200.

They bought the cow from Wisconsin and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side, she walks away to the other side.”

The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wisconsin?” The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. “You are truly a wise Vet,” they said. “How did you know we got the cow in Wisconsin?”

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, “My wife is from Wisconsin.”
Lowell

2005 Cherokee28A TT
pulled by 2009 Dodge 1500 Crew Cab 4X4
KF7YET

Tempe, Arizona

Mr Bojangles

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #805 on: March 29, 2018, 03:31:37 AM »
This may or not be a TRUE story. I'm down to four lies a day..... oops, there goes one now.

Talking (preaching about saving, leaning about Mutual Funds, continuing school) to my teen-aged Grandchildren years ago, one of them said to me:
'Your funny Grand-Pa." and proceeded to walk away.
My chest swelled and I felt real good... wow!

Days later I overheard one of the other Grand children saying to their Grand-Mom  (the wife)

"Yes Grand-mom, in school they told us, If someone is annoying and acting like a AH...., just tell them they are Funny, then walk away."

Who knew......
SAFBVET    Jim O
28 trips out.... 88,000 Miles -S  to Key West, SW to Gulf...w to Texas, NW Oregon, across Canada.

Seon

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #806 on: March 30, 2018, 06:26:47 AM »
At times it's hard to measure height...

Like the time I was staring at a flag pole in front of my house when my grandson asked why I was staring.

Told him I was trying to figure out how tall the pole was to which he asked, "Why don't you pull the pin out of the base, lay it down and measure the lenght?" 

Smart ash kid, I told him "I want to know how high the pole was, not how long".  :o
Itasca 27' Spirit
Lake Camanche, CA

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #807 on: March 31, 2018, 11:03:09 AM »
Political Quotes:

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” Groucho Marx

“Politics is made up of two words... ‘poli’ which is Greek for ‘many’ and ‘tics’ which are blood sucking insects.” Gore Vidal

“Politics is War without bloodshed, while War is Politics with bloodshed.” Mao Zedong

“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river.” Nikita Khrushchev

“Too bad 90 percent of politicians give the other 10 percent a bad reputation.” Henry Kissinger

“The best argument against Democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.” Winston Churchill
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

Seon

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  • Posts: 107
Re: Post a joke
« Reply #808 on: March 31, 2018, 12:03:11 PM »
What Women Want....


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)


1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

Hey I'm batting .500  ;D
Itasca 27' Spirit
Lake Camanche, CA

Jim Godward

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  • Posts: 5830
Re: Post a joke
« Reply #809 on: March 31, 2018, 01:07:27 PM »
THIS IS CUTE...
 
>
>
> Best ever Senior Citizen Joke
>
>
>
> A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,
> "Please come over here and help me.
>
>
>
> I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
> how to get started."
>
>
>
> Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when
> it's finished?"
>
> The little silver haired lady says, "According to the
> picture on the box, it's a rooster."
>
>
>
> Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
>
> She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle
> spread all over the table.
>
>
>
> He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
> then turns to her and says,
>
> "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not
> going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
> resembling a rooster."
>
>
>
> He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to
> relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..."
>
> he said with a deep sigh ............
>
>                    .
>
>                    .
>
>                    .
>
>                    .
>
>                    .
>
>                    .
>
>                    .
>
>                    .                   .
>
>                    .
>
>
> "Let's put all the
> Corn Flakes back in the box."
>
Jim
Jim & Pat Godward
AC7PO & KD7ZDM
Hillsboro, Oregon