Post a joke

The friendliest place on the web for anyone with an RV or an interest in RVing!
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Author unknown
 
ANOTHER ''GOOSE MOTHER RHYME'' From Seajay

Little miss muffett
Sat on her tuffitt
Eating her curds and whay

Along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and said .....
''Hay,,,,,,,,, Whatca' got in the bowl girlie?''

I got some more but I can not post them here.........cj......

God bless our troops and lets bring them home NOW............CJ.....
 
An old farmer got pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The trooper, fresh on the job, decided to throw his weight around and started lecturing the farmer about his speed. He did his best to make the farmer feel uncomfortable but eventually got around to writing the ticket. As he wrote, he had to swat at several flies that were buzzing around his head.

"Having some problems with cir...cle flies there, are ya?" asked the farmer.

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and looked up. "Well yeah, if that's what they are," he said. "I never heard of circle flies, though."

"Oh, they're pretty common on farms," said the farmer. "We call 'em circle flies because they're always circling around the back end of a horse."

"I see," said the trooper as he continued writing the ticket. All of a sudden, he stopped and looked up at the farmer. "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"

"Oh no, officer," replied the farmer. "I have far too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."

"Well, that's a good thing," said the trooper as he resumed writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer continued. "Hard to fool them flies, though."
 
Seajay's nursery rhyme reminded me of this old, old limerick:

There once was a lady from Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger!
 
I once had a friend from the great state of Texas and he was really a nice guy until he had a couple of drinks and then he would start telling tall tales about Texas.  Everything was BIGGER IN TEXAS and he would tell stories that were impossible to believe.  I warned him about it a couple of times that he told a good ''story'' but it was way too exaggerated.  I told him that I would kinda watch him and when his tale got beyond belief, I would cough loudly and point my hands toward the floor as a sign to ''CUT IT DOWN A BIT'' so the tale would be more believeable.  He said OK and we went to a party together and he had a couple of drinks and started talking about his ranch in Texas.....

''My ranch down in Texas covers over ten million square miles and I got more than a million cows and I have the biggest barn in the world to house them cows.  I want everyone to know that that barn is FIVE MILES LONG''
Well, at this I knew it was time to ''tone down the tale just a little '' so I coughed loudly and pointed my hands toward the floor.
He picked up on my signal and stopped and thought a minute............
''Yep folks, I got a barn down in Texas that is FIVE MILES LONG............. Uhhhhhhhhhhh  ''And three feet wide''.

God bless our fire fighters and law enforcement personell that keep us safe........cj.....
 
Marsha and Judy went across the tracks to a really seedie beer bar just to look around.  They went in and sat down at the bar and order a beer and were looking around at the patrons when this big biker type dude came in and sat down beside of Judy.  He ordered a beer and smiled at Judy.  Everyone sat silent and sipped their beers when Judy leaned over and whispered to Marsha that the ''biker dude'' was scratchin' his butt as they sat at the bar.
''Oh my God'' whispered Marsha.......... ''Lets leave''
Judy leaned over and whispered ....... ''We can't leave right now''......
''Why not for God sake''..... Whispered Marsha
''BECAUSE HE IS USING MY HAND'' whispered Judy........


Ten years is enough ..... BRING UM HOME NOW.......cj......
 
Speaking of farmers in Texas, I once met one who bragged that on his farm it took him all day to drive from one end to the other.  I said "Yeah, I had a car like that once."
 
My cousin Earl was almost deaf and he finally broke down and bought a hearing aid.  He was so happy and he came by my house to brag on his new ability to hear everything....

''I got this new hearing aid and I can hear everything now.  I can hear a Ford rust on a rainy nite.
''I can hear a gnat grit its teeth at 20 feet now''........''Man, I can now hear everything''
I was very proud of him and I asked
''What kind is it Earl?''
""ITS A QUARTER AFTER FOUR""..........
''Whats that got to do with my new hearing aid?''

Hug a Vet............. TWICE.......
 
When the size of Texas tales get too large I just tell the bragger that we're going to cut Alaska in half and make Texas the third largest state. Yep, Alaska's that big.
 
bucks2 said:
When the size of Texas tales get too large I just tell the bragger that we're going to cut Alaska in half and make Texas the third largest state. Yep, Alaska's that big.

The Fairbanks North Star Borough School District is only slightly smaller than the states of Rhode Island and Connecticut combined.
 
Alaskansnowbirds said:
The Fairbanks North Star Borough School District is only slightly smaller than the states of Rhode Island and Connecticut combined.
That is not saying much. In California we have pot farms bigger than Rhode Island.
 
California's San Bernardino County at 20,105 square miles is only a little smaller than West Virgina and is larger than 9 other states.

Inyo, California's second largest county covers 10,227 square miles, making it larger than 6 states.

And there are 4 other counties larger than Connecticut, Delaware and Rhode Island.




 
TODAY'S OFFERING:



There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,with the hope that at

least one of the puns would make them laugh.









No pun in ten did.




Aint you glad you are on my forward list now .........cj.....
God bless our troops
 
A while ago a new supermarket opened in Surprise AZ...

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.


When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mowed hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.



I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.




 
That is so funny! I quit shopping there when I was insulted everytime I grabbed a gallon of milk!  :eek:

-Roni
 
A little boy ask his mother where he came from..  She told him God sent him down from heaven..  He then ask his father the same question---- father tells him the theory of evolution.  Boy tells mother that father said he came from monkeys.  Mother explained------I told you where my side of the family came from and your father told you where his side of the family came from.

Bill Dane    99  CC  Allure
 
Seajay said:
My cousin Earl was almost deaf and he finally broke down and bought a hearing aid.  He was so happy and he came by my house to brag on his new ability to hear everything....

''I got this new hearing aid and I can hear everything now.  I can hear a Ford rust on a rainy nite.
''I can hear a gnat grit its teeth at 20 feet now''........''Man, I can now hear everything''
I was very proud of him and I asked
''What kind is it Earl?''
""ITS A QUARTER AFTER FOUR""..........
''Whats that got to do with my new hearing aid?''

Hug a Vet............. TWICE.......

That hit pretty close to home... ;) as I'm an owner of a pair.. :-X ...and answer that same question often as it was stated ??? ..I have found out I like the silence more often than people around me do... :p and think it is OK to laugh at myself.. ::)
 
Icemaker said:
That hit pretty close to home... ;) as I'm an owner of a pair.. :-X ...and answer that same question often as it was stated ??? ..I have found out I like the silence more often than people around me do... :p and think it is OK to laugh at myself.. ::)
Eh?  (my new ones are still on the dresser)
 

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
131,670
Posts
1,382,735
Members
137,455
Latest member
MtnRV
Back
Top Bottom