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Author Topic: Post a joke  (Read 252153 times)

GA_Boy

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #930 on: November 09, 2018, 06:55:02 PM »
I was reading in my Redneck Dictionary and came upon :
Undertaker, noun, un·​der·​tak·​er | \ˌən-dər-ˈtā-kər;  The last person to see you Naked.
Marvin

SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #931 on: November 13, 2018, 02:58:08 PM »
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.

"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

 
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #932 on: November 13, 2018, 03:19:46 PM »
I love Georgie but these are just too funny. Brilliant Photoshop skills.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
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SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #933 on: November 13, 2018, 03:24:04 PM »
Here is some more from my sick collection.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
My Grand Canyon shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Nc1AT8tQp25wJwfm1

RVMommaTo6

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #934 on: November 13, 2018, 04:00:08 PM »
Those are great! The bomb squad took me a second lol
Amanda
Mommy to 6 great kids who love camping and traveling
July 31, 2019- begin our 10 month cross country trip
2015 Thor Motor Coach A.C.E. 30.2
2010 35ft Springdale bunkhouse TT
2001 Jayco Pop-up

SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #935 on: November 13, 2018, 04:01:20 PM »
Those are great! The bomb squad took me a second lol
Thanks I have a bunch more but I am not going to post the political or a the dirty ones here.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
My Grand Canyon shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Nc1AT8tQp25wJwfm1

Molaker

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #936 on: November 13, 2018, 05:20:30 PM »
I have a coffee cup from years ago that has the Mt Rushmore scene on it. However, it is far more revealing than your cartoon. :o
Tom & Joyce and Ditto the "don't tell her she's a dog" Westie
U.S. Navy (Ret)
2014 Winnebago ERA 70X 24' class B Sprinter chassis

SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #937 on: November 14, 2018, 09:38:09 AM »
I just found this on my bass forum.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
My Grand Canyon shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Nc1AT8tQp25wJwfm1

thelazyl

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #938 on: November 14, 2018, 12:37:37 PM »
Why do you never see an elephant hiding in a tree?

Because they are REAL good at it.


SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #939 on: November 14, 2018, 12:40:59 PM »
Why do you never see an elephant hiding in a tree?

Because they are REAL good at it.
That is an urban myth. Elephants are actually pretty poor at hiding in trees. ;D
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
My Grand Canyon shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Nc1AT8tQp25wJwfm1

Oldgator73

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #940 on: November 14, 2018, 07:21:56 PM »
That is an urban myth. Elephants are actually pretty poor at hiding in trees. ;D

That ones not trying to hide. She’s sitting on her eggs. ::)
Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier
1952 Wife

SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #941 on: November 14, 2018, 07:27:49 PM »
That ones not trying to hide. She’s sitting on her eggs. ::)
Nope, she is taking a dump. ;D
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
My Grand Canyon shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Nc1AT8tQp25wJwfm1

Oldgator73

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #942 on: November 14, 2018, 07:40:07 PM »
Nope, she is taking a dump. ;D

Then that’s not her nest. No right thinking elephant would fowl their own nest. Wait, if she dumps a load of steaming dung on her eggs it will act as an incubator and the eggs will hatch faster.  :o
Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier
1952 Wife

RVMommaTo6

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #943 on: November 14, 2018, 07:57:19 PM »
Nope, she is taking a dump. ;D
Anyone who's had bird crap land on their head, myself included, gets a horrific imagine in mind of the tragic possibilities! Makes a seagull or a crow sound not so bad!
Amanda
Mommy to 6 great kids who love camping and traveling
July 31, 2019- begin our 10 month cross country trip
2015 Thor Motor Coach A.C.E. 30.2
2010 35ft Springdale bunkhouse TT
2001 Jayco Pop-up

SeilerBird

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #944 on: November 14, 2018, 08:02:57 PM »
I have been a bird photographer for many years and never have I had a bird poop on my head. :D
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
Favorite 2017 shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/y0HbMU5KYa2hx02E3
My portfolio:
https://goo.gl/photos/Cx4SaYhGfYFShSty7
My Grand Canyon shots:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Nc1AT8tQp25wJwfm1

Alaskansnowbirds

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #945 on: November 15, 2018, 11:31:32 PM »
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm  gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"                           
 "Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the back of that cow?"
« Last Edit: November 15, 2018, 11:33:25 PM by Alaskansnowbirds »
Don & Peg
Alaska/Arizona
Currently located here.
Weather at Camp Verde, AZ.

Tom Hoffman

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #946 on: November 16, 2018, 04:12:09 PM »
The Casket

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!…


Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!…


Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER… FASTER…

BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…


He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...

Clappity-BUMP… Clappity-BUMP… Clappity-BUMP…

…on his heels, the terrified man runs.


He rushes upstairs to the bathroom and locks the door.  His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.


With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.


The man screams and reaches for something, anything, all he sees is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperately, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…


and,


The coffin stops!
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

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Oldgator73

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #947 on: November 28, 2018, 07:56:43 PM »
Sounds like something I would do.

Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier
1952 Wife

Oldgator73

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #948 on: November 28, 2018, 08:03:35 PM »
I did not know this.

Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier
1952 Wife

Alaskansnowbirds

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #949 on: November 29, 2018, 05:17:50 PM »
I think they should have used cows but the bears are funny too.
Don & Peg
Alaska/Arizona
Currently located here.
Weather at Camp Verde, AZ.

Old_Crow

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #950 on: December 01, 2018, 04:07:03 PM »
I have a coffee cup from years ago that has the Mt Rushmore scene on it. However, it is far more revealing than your cartoon. :o

My wife used to work at Blanchard Springs Caverns, a Forest Service park.  She got herself that same coffee cup when we vacationed to the Black Hills one year.  They made her bring it home from work.
Wally Crow
Retired 30 year ASE Master Auto Tech
Y2K Bounder 36S F53
'03 Jeep Wrangler Sahara

"Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle."

Gizmo100

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #951 on: December 02, 2018, 06:41:31 PM »
I think I've been doing it all wrong :)
2017 Heartland Trail runner 24 SLE
2017 Ford F150 3.5 Eco boost

Gizmo100

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #952 on: December 02, 2018, 06:42:50 PM »
Another space saving idea for the RV industry.....
2017 Heartland Trail runner 24 SLE
2017 Ford F150 3.5 Eco boost

PancakeBill

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #953 on: December 07, 2018, 03:50:35 PM »
Anyone who's had bird crap land on their head, myself included, gets a horrific imagine in mind of the tragic possibilities! Makes a seagull or a crow sound not so bad!

Ever hear the story of the Foo Bird?
Bill & Jolene W & Koda

Retired from Old Faithful, On The Road for a bit
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WA1RI

RVMommaTo6

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  • New York
Re: Post a joke
« Reply #954 on: December 07, 2018, 06:49:34 PM »
Ever hear the story of the Foo Bird?
No but I'm almost afraid to ask! Lol
Amanda
Mommy to 6 great kids who love camping and traveling
July 31, 2019- begin our 10 month cross country trip
2015 Thor Motor Coach A.C.E. 30.2
2010 35ft Springdale bunkhouse TT
2001 Jayco Pop-up

Bill N

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #955 on: December 08, 2018, 07:06:57 AM »
Many have said that a more efficient transmission in their RV would solve a lot of problems.  Here is an answer to your prayers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag

Tom:  This is what I referred to in my PM.  Found it on YouTube.
Bill & Joan N in Missouri
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Oldgator73

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #956 on: December 08, 2018, 06:41:13 PM »
Reminds me of some of my first days at work.

Retired Air Force
2016 Winnie Drop
2016 Nissan Frontier
1952 Wife

Bill N

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #957 on: December 09, 2018, 07:47:06 AM »
Many have said that a more efficient transmission in their RV would solve a lot of problems.  Here is an answer to your prayers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag

Tom:  This is what I referred to in my PM.  Found it on YouTube.

Now I find that there is a much updated model of the Turbo Encabulator (and it is even funnier).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyRllRWfLJE
Bill & Joan N in Missouri
USAF (Ret - 1961-1981)
2002 Winnebago Adventurer 35U
Workhorse W22, 8.1L Chevy V8
2013 Chevy Sonic Toad
Furbearers:  Heidi-17(Forever), Cats: Grace-11.5 & Squeak-6.5, Winnie the ShihTzu - 20 mos

kdbgoat

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #958 on: December 09, 2018, 08:21:40 AM »
Yep, pretty funny. The great thing about the original though is it was done off the cuff.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
But I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant

2012 Redwood 36RL
2016 Leprechaun 319DS

lavarock1210

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Re: Post a joke
« Reply #959 on: December 09, 2018, 10:43:10 AM »
When I was working for the I&SE department of General Electric we had a set of catalogs that listed everything General Electric made and many of our large customers also had a set of the catalogs.  There were over 20 books that each was about 3-4 inches thick.

But item number HBK-8359 page 801 was very interesting.

I can attest that this was for real and some engineer at General Electric was able to insert the
Turboencabulator into the GE catalog.  This was back in 1962.