John From Detroit
Well-known member
I have petted a few Police K-9's but never been bitten by one.... (What can I say they were friends).
Post a joke
- Thread starter 1joester2
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The friendliest place on the web for anyone with an RV or an interest in RVing!
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
BinaryBob
Moderator Emeritus
Sign at the last Germanfest I went to: ;D
WARNUNG:
Festive German Atmosphere Strictly Enforced
WARNUNG:
Festive German Atmosphere Strictly Enforced
whiteva
Well-known member
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. .. ....
(get ready)
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. .. ....
(get ready)
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
SeilerBird
Well-known member
Even worse than that is when you buy a book from Goodwill and after a few chapters realize that it is the very book you donated to Goodwill a few months ago. ;DOldgator73 said:
Why don't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent.
muskoka guy
Well-known member
You can also hide your own easter eggs. Getting old has some advantages, except they want you to pay upfront for a five minute boiled egg.lavarock1210 said:
RVMommaTo6
Well-known member
My dentist told me I need a crown.
Finally, someone who understands me.
Finally, someone who understands me.
Jim Godward
Well-known member
LOL!
Roy M
Well-known member
;D Good one, thanks for the chuckle.
Hi,
My grandmother told me this one long ago. Might not be total proper but here goes.
There was a dance at a community center. A man with a wooden eye decided to go and socialize. He was looking around with his good eye at everyone having fun dancing and talking and socializing. His gaze soon fell on a women in the corner who had a disfiguring hare lip and who looked like she was having a bad time as no one was asking her to dance. The man took pity upon her and decided on going over and asking her to dance to make her feel better and to make her night better. The man approached the disfigured women and asked her if she might want to dance. The women was so excited with his offer and said Oh wood I, oh wood I. The man then replied, hare lip hare lip hare lip.
My grandmother told me this one long ago. Might not be total proper but here goes.
There was a dance at a community center. A man with a wooden eye decided to go and socialize. He was looking around with his good eye at everyone having fun dancing and talking and socializing. His gaze soon fell on a women in the corner who had a disfiguring hare lip and who looked like she was having a bad time as no one was asking her to dance. The man took pity upon her and decided on going over and asking her to dance to make her feel better and to make her night better. The man approached the disfigured women and asked her if she might want to dance. The women was so excited with his offer and said Oh wood I, oh wood I. The man then replied, hare lip hare lip hare lip.
Dragginourbedaround
Well-known member
If You Marry An Irish Girl
The first man married a woman from Italy. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Poland. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Ireland. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees......
The first man married a woman from Italy. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Poland. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Ireland. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees......
SeilerBird
Well-known member
Roy M
Well-known member
;D
Dragginourbedaround
Well-known member
Senior Sex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
BinaryBob
Moderator Emeritus
SeilerBird
Well-known member
Back2PA
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2015
- Posts
- 5,766
For Tom:
How do you get two whales in a car?
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Start in England and drive west
How do you get two whales in a car?
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Start in England and drive west
Oldgator73
Well-known member
We?ve actually done that.
John From Detroit
Well-known member
Man sees 3 rather large women in a bar an approaching asks "are you women from scotland" the women reply "Wales" so he asks "Are you three wales from Scotland?"
Woke up 3 days later in intensive care.
Woke up 3 days later in intensive care.
