...the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.

After months of routing, preparing, and dreaming of our first summer with our motor home a single moment in time has changed all of the hours spent planning. Life happens and everything changes... We had a 3-week trip planned to explore the Southern Coast of Oregon, a few weeks in Southern Utah and a wrap up of the summer in Yellowstone and Grand Tetons. I made reservations at the hotspots months in advance, and just yesterday I had to cancel everything.

My Mother-in-Law's husband passed away at the ripe age of 87. We have had to support my wife's mother and her husband for the last several years, as Howard spent his career as a gas station mechanic. We even had to buy them a home in Roseburg, OR, as they were full timers in a Toyota chassis Sea Breeze motor home until it fell apart completely. Now my wife's mother will be moving in with us in Las Vegas and I have a place in Roseburg, OR that I need to deal with. Sadly I paid more for the house than it is currently worth...thanks to the housing bubble, so my prospects of getting all of my money back out of the house is low.

We just bought our motor home in October 2012 with plans of traveling during the summer months to get out of the Las Vegas heat. Now we'll have a sticks and bricks in Roseburg, OR that would make a great summer home... I don't want to get rid of the motor home as that is where MY heart is. My wife's heart is in Roseburg, OR, she loves the area up there, well I love the area too, but I love my motor home more.

What to do? I could always rent the place in Oregon and hope for good renters, sell the place at a loss, or keep it as a summer home. With my mother-in-law moving in with us, I refuse to get rid of my motor home, as it will be an easy get-away for me. This summer will be spent transitioning my wife's mother from Oregon to Nevada. And my motor home will sit out the season...

The best laid plans of mice and men...

End of my morning rant...

I feel your pain.  We are in the midst of planning our first RV vacation, and I can't imagine having to cancel it.  I especially can't imagine having to cancel it for my mother-in-law.

Things will work out the way they're intended to - small comfort now, I know, but it's always proven true in my life, hope it does in yours too.

Best -
Michele

I am so sorry to hear of your problem. As hard as this all might be at least you can look at your self in the mirror and say " I did the right thing". I sincerely hope things work out and you are able to get some time with the RV.

What a quandary, not to mention a financial burden. We feel your pain!

Things are looking up already, we were planning a tour of the Southern Coast of Oregon, and we've been forced to cancel those reservations, however, since we have to spend a lot of time in Roseburg, OR to get my Mother-in-Law relocated this summer, I've decided to do it in my motor home. I made a reservation at Twin Rivers RV Park in Roseburg for a few weeks in June.

I'll be able to get some fishing in along the North Umpqua River and finally get to enjoy the motor home I bought 7 months ago. God is good. 

RVing plans are made in Jello. You shook the jello and changed your plans. One of the joys of RVing.

We are back to Zero. My Mother-in-Law has decided to stay in Roseburg, OR for the foreseeable future. With that we do not have to spend 2-weeks in Roseburg and we can do a bit of traveling. Our departure date is June 13 or 14 and we have up to 18 days to travel.

I have made and canceled reservations for this trip already. So I'm thinking that we will try a couple first-come-first-serve BLM/State/National Park CG in Oregon instead of full hook up RV Parks and dry camp for a few days.

I am beginning to understand the term Jello...

Good news!

I was going to suggest that if you could afford to keep both, to do so. If the MIL ever has to move in, you would still have an "escape" and you guys would have a summer home and could use the RV to "commute".

Cheers,

Oly

All in all, looks like things are working out.  Just think about your plans and how your mother in laws plans got changed.  Yours are a lot easier to modify.  Hers are cast.

Plus, just because your reservations were cancelled, does not mean there are no spaces left.  Enjoy your trip.

PancakeBill said:

All in all, looks like things are working out.  Just think about your plans and how your mother in laws plans got changed.  Yours are a lot easier to modify.  Hers are cast.

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You're right...the grieving process for my MIL is cast, and now she just needs us to support her decision to be independent for as long as possible. 

BTW, I'm looking forward to meeting you at the Bookstore this August when we visit Yellowstone.

Olys45 said:

Good news! I was going to suggest that if you could afford to keep both, to do so. If the MIL ever has to move in, you would still have an "escape" and you guys would have a summer home and could use the RV to "commute". Cheers, Oly

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This is now the plan, to keep the place in Oregon as long as we can and use it as you suggested, because one day MIL will be moving in with us, and besides, when it becomes a summer home our sons will use it as a vacation spot.

Oregon has a lot of very nice state parks, most with hookups, typically with space available weekdays. Enjoy wandering.

Wendy said:

Oregon has a lot of very nice state parks, most with hookups, typically with space available weekdays. Enjoy wandering.

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I hope to visit at least 2 or 3 of their BLM/State/Federal Parks while we're up there this year. Last year in our F550/Lance 1120 Camper combination we stayed at Susan Creek CG off Highway 138, which is 30 miles east of Roseburg...beautiful area. I'm looking forward to staying a a state CG with hook ups...we usually are limited to dry camping in State Parks.

In 2007 I had a vacation planned. 3 weeks off for both myself and my wife. Our jobs both had rotating days off. In an average year we had 6 weekends, that is Sat and Sun off together. Vacations were pretty special events. My vacation was selected in November for the next year, the wife did hers in February. Occasionally we were unable to get the same time periods due to limited coverage in both our jobs. In 2007 everything was perfect!

5 days before our departure Mother in Law called and asked us to come take her to the hospital for severe stomach pain. After the requisite 7 hours in the Emergency Department, she was admitted and scheduled for more testing the next day. 7 days later, 2 days after our scheduled departure, we were pushing the pain medication button every 11 minutes and 20 seconds for her on a  24 hour schedule. 9 days later we were making funeral arrangements. We didn't go on vacation that year due to her pancreatitis.

I'd trade any vacation for more days with MIL. I truly had one of the best in the world. Every coin has two sides........

Ken

bucks2 said:

In 2007 I had a vacation planned. 3 weeks off for both myself and my wife. Our jobs both had rotating days off. In an average year we had 6 weekends, that is Sat and Sun off together. Vacations were pretty special events. My vacation was selected in November for the next year, the wife did hers in February. Occasionally we were unable to get the same time periods due to limited coverage in both our jobs. In 2007 everything was perfect!

5 days before our departure Mother in Law called and asked us to come take her to the hospital for severe stomach pain. After the requisite 7 hours in the Emergency Department, she was admitted and scheduled for more testing the next day. 7 days later, 2 days after our scheduled departure, we were pushing the pain medication button every 11 minutes and 20 seconds for her on a  24 hour schedule. 9 days later we were making funeral arrangements. We didn't go on vacation that year due to her pancreatitis.

I'd trade any vacation for more days with MIL. I truly had one of the best in the world. Every coin has two sides........

Ken

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I hear what you're saying. My mother past away the year before I began our family business 19 years ago. I never was able to spoil my mother...and I miss that. Just like my MIL, It is my desire for her to live her life the way she wants to live it, in a place that she calls home.

It's really good to hear people talking well of their mother-in-law instead of condeming them, I thought I had one of the greatest, in fact, we would not have the RV if not for their generosity. Della pasted away the July before Katrina and Floyd her husband died three weeks later just before Katrina hit their home in New Orleans. Glad they didn't have to see that.
Man, that woman sure could cook.

My MIL is an ok lady but not to move in with us.  I wouldn't last a week and would be moving into the motorhome.  She is 86 and almost impossible to carry on a conversation with.  She is forgetting things, I figure alzenheimers as we are pretty sure her younger sister has it as well as  did their mother.  But I told hubby I will help her with things at home long as she can live there, she still drives and everything.  But her sister lives behind her and is in a bad way.  This is dragging her down. 

My husband is gone and does not do family confrontations well.  I told his cousins that my MIL cannot take care of her sister.  She will try but that is why we moved back only 3 miles away as she is slipping too.  Also I cannot take care of MIL, her sister, and Sue Anne they would have to put me away in short order.  A son stayed with her for 3 weeks and I talked with him, his brother is coming in this week so not sure if anything will happen.  It's a sad state of affairs as her son just started traveling too.

I have already been through 10 years with my mom, she had to move in at about the time I got a great job with 4 weeks a year vacation, that's why I took it.  I lost the job between mom and Sue Anne, I gave notice as I could not do it justice and eventually they would have had to do something. Mom and Sue Anne could not get along, it was like referring 2 children they tattled on each other etc.  But when I was gone one day and Sue Anne came home and found mom outside, that was almost the end.  She couldn't figure out how to get back in the house, I didn't know she was that bad.  Then I was at the store one day and she had tried to take a bath and couldn't get out of the tub.  We had to do assisted living.  It was where I couldn't leave them alone or together.

But listen there are ways.  I seldom get to go anywhere alone with my husband.  I made arrangements at an assisted living center for 2 weeks for our daughter and had a week with him and a week of freedom and quiet time.  You could consider something like that if she needs help.

Or sounds like a great place to vacation so your wife could possibly visit with her and you guys could still use the motorhome there.  I bet you can find a way.

Right now I'm trying to do what I can while I can.  Hubby is accepting a new assignment supposed to be for 2 1/2 years but he can leave anytime if he needs too. But his mom will be ok I think for a couple more years at least.  We leave the dog with her while I'm in Houston , think there may only be one more short trip.  She seems to really enjoy it and it gives her something to do and to talk about.  Also Sue Anne loves to go over, I will let her a night or two and they have a good time.  I have her over for dinner and things, she doesn't want to go much of anyplace.  But any mental stimulation is good. 

Now not sure how the sister situation will work out.  She thinks people are breaking in all the time and stealing money and her things.  She lives in a small mobile home so they would have cleaned it out by now.  I have tried to get them to put up a security light, on deaf ears.  The son had a camera system set up and she unhooks it so lots of obstacles there.

I'm sorry got carried away on your thread.  It's just something many of us has to go through.

don't have to worry about Tom and I there won't be anyone so we will be at the mercy of whatever happens.

We took care of MIL for 5 years with Alzheimer's.
For 6 months SIL watched her.
Sold house 11/20/12 we though we'd get to travel a little while.
But dad got diagnose with 4th stage cancer in and then MIL
came back to us, yes I'd rather be traveling. But MIL or mom would take care of me
and well dad is my dad and he did before. So I guess it time to give the love back.

I like that life is like Jello, though that was a great way to say it.
We get to choose the mold.

Just Don said:

.... life is like Jello, though we get to choose the mold.

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I like that.

We're down to the wire, that is, we are leaving Friday morning 6/14/2013. Plans are still changing as I write this post. MIL has absolutely decided to remain in Roseburg, OR until she can no longer care for herself, then she'll move in with us... .

This is our first long journey (2,000 miles round trip +/-) so I am pretty excited, worried, and a bit nervous. Our longest day will be day one as we drive from Southern Nevada (Las Vegas) to Northern Nevada (Fernley) which is approximately 400 miles. Day two is 350 miles, and day three is approximately 175 miles. Well that's the plan...and as a wise person mentioned previously "plans are jello".

We're only staying in Roseburg for a mere 8 days now as my wife has to return to the company (family Owned business) sooner than I had hoped. Well, someone needs to support my retirement.

I told my wife that anywhere we go that takes six days of driving time (coming and going); we need to spend more time camping to offset the 6-days of driving.