When a full-timer is being hassled in the neighborhood

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DearMissMermaid said:
Having had fabulously good times and some super tough times... I say show a little compassion.  The world needs more compassion.

Sometimes folks fall on hard times and coupled with the troubles comes incredible loneliness and often confusion. Sometimes folks just need a hand-up, not a hand out.

Heaven help us all if we accidentally fall on rough times and end up on the "homeless" list. There is this awful perception that all "homeless" folks are bad people. Sometimes the domino falls and it just keeps falling. The domino effect...

When I was terribly ill and living in my RV, I was parked in a very bad situation but extremely weak. A compassionate couple found out about my plight inviting me to come park on their land while I recuperated. I graciously took them up on their offer. Many days I was too weak to get out of bed, but they kept knocking on my door shoving soup and sandwiches at me. They went way out of their way to help me out and as I began to get well, I tried my best to repay them by helping them out around their house. I will never forget them or their kindness. I went to visit them awhile back and was extolling on their compassion; how it changed my life and gave me a "hand-up" to get well and get going again. They looked at me with total confusion and said "We did what any decent person would have done, what you would have done, what we hope someone would do for us if we were in a bad situation. It was no big deal!"

Well it was a big deal to me.

I guess karma finally caught up to them. I found out when a friend of theirs was dying, seemingly abandoned by his family, they nursed him at their home in his final days which stretched out to two years of debilitating illness. I visited them and helped out with his care to give them a break. A few months later, when he died, they found out he had redone his will leaving them his house (it was sitting empty in another town) life insurance proceeds and a huge pile of savings and stocks. When his "long lost" brother showed up to collect the estate... he was in for quite a shock.

Sometimes a little compassion never hurts.

Having said all that... I was once walking through a town carrying half of a sub sandwich. It was neatly wrapped, sliced in half, I had eaten half and was saving half for later. A woman in dirty clothes came up to me and I smiled. She asked me for money to buy food. I handed her my sandwich raving about how delicious it was and rattling off the ingredients.

Perhaps she was drug crazed (others said so later) but I gently handed her the sandwich. She threw it on the ground then jumped on it with her foot until it was a flattened mess. She yelled at me "I asked for money not food!" Then she stomped off. So sad to find out later , she was consumed by a nasty drug habit.

Life is goof.

What a lovely story.  I'm glad someone was there to help you.  It terrible to be alone.  You know, while I've never been homeless, I have been in -very- desperate situations.  Unlike your situation, no one came to my aid.  Because of that, I promised I would never abandon anyone if I had the means to help.  I knew what it felt like to be abandoned just when I needed someone the most.  I do what I can to help, which is why I was upset about this guy in the van.  He left before I had a chance to offer him my driveway.  After reading a few responses I thought that I probably shouldn't be so caring of someone who would leave garbage on my street, but you know, I'm sure if I'd said something to him, he would have picked it up.  I would never call the police on someone who's just trying to make it in life.  I mean, how about a little respect?  Why not just talk to him?  He wasn't causing any harm.  The neighbor who called the police also verbally abuses his wife.  He power washes his pink and grey driveway and washes down his white plastic fence, in the midst of our drought in CA and has his abundantly watered green lawn treated once per month by a lawn maintenance company.  To him, the guy in the van was subhuman.  In my opinion, he has that backwards.  I'd rather live next door to the guy in the van.  If he was dangerous, the police would have taken him away when they ran a background check on him. 

In the end, I decided to hit as many rv full timing forums as I could find to see if I could find this guy, maybe complaining about what happened, but no luck.

I wonder how many people kick him out when he's just trying to sleep.  Where does he go?  Where can he go if everyone kicks him out?  It reminds me of the ducks around here  A new small development destroyed a fresh water pond the ducks used to use for raising their young.  Because the scum ruined the pond, the ducks have their babies in backyards with pools.  I accommodate them.  My neighbor scares them away from his yard at every opportunity.  Where are they supposed to go?  No one cares.  All that matters to them is that they don't want to be inconvenienced.  I put bricks on the first step of my pool so the babies can get out when they're ready.  What's so hard about that?

I hope I find him.  I'd at least like him to know that I was not the one who called the police.
 
If this event has awaken a compassionate awareness....then you should view it as a positive experience,  especially since you did nothing wrong.

go ahead and let the guy in the van go.... your compassion has plenty of other places that could use it.



( and don't forget a little compassion for your neighbors too... ;) )

IMO..
 
TonyDtorch said:
If this event has awaken a compassionate awareness....then you should view it as a positive experience,  especially since you did nothing wrong.

go ahead and let the guy in the van go.... your compassion has plenty of other places that could use it.



( and don't forget a little compassion for your neighbors too... ;) )

IMO..

I guess you're right though, Heaven help my neighbor if he ever verbally assaults his wife in front of me  :mad:

I'm moving on.  Thanks for the nudge  :)
 
Gary RV Roamer said:
Being down & out is worthy of compassion, but being down & out doesn't give carte blanche to leave your trash on someone's lawn. For me, that single item moved the guy from the "possibly deserving" category to "bum".  There is no excuse for that sort of thing - there are dumpsters everywhere. Besides, he's not going hungry - he is buying stuff and so has trash to dispose of. And he buys gas for the van.  I don't see that any compassion is called for here - the guy is just exploiting the community any way he can.

Or trying not to get caught doing something he knows is illegal. Is a burglar being considerate if he waits until you leave your home to break in?

Agreed.  This is a good point.  Its also worthy to point out he is most likely a drug addict and he needs help you can't give him.  I've had plenty of family experience with this and I caution you on how you handle this because it depends on the type of drugs he's on.  If he is a Cocaine or Crack or heroine user you could end up with an armed robbery on your hands or have your coach broken into when you step away.  The drug changes the mind in drastic ways and tries to get the user to do virtually ANYTHING to get the drug.

If its a meth user, you will probably have less issues with violence but you might see them doing some pretty crazy stuff in the lawn!  :eek:

Just be careful.  Its a fact that 95% of the homeless didn't just "Fall on hard times".  They have typically become drug addicts and need a LOT of serious help and you might not be about to start talking to a rational mind.  The drugs make them homeless through what it does to their mind.

Edit: Fixed quote tags.
 
Diesel Don said:
Its a fact that 95% of the homeless didn't just "Fall on hard times".  They have typically become drug addicts and need a LOT of serious help and you might not be about to start talking to a rational mind.
Do you have a citation for that 95% figure? I ask because in these times I would imagine a higher percentage did fall on hard times.




Mike
 
tunie said:
I understand.  I did want to help him but, because he's not "one who travels full time in an RV experiencing the scenic wonders our country has to offer", I didn't want to do it alone.  I should have talked to him when the police were here.  He could have led a full and productive life, but life got the better of him.  It happens.  I just started thinking about my own RV.  I'm planning to get an older RV that can fit a Doberman and a Staffordshire Terrier who can't be together.  It might be an 80's Wanderlodge, or a Boles Aero travel trailer.  I just began to wonder if campgrounds will turn me away because I'm in an old RV.  Will people look down on me because I'm not driving a 2015 100K Class A?  This is one thing I didn't research.

My grandfather, a decorated retired Navy Vet, lived in a Van for the last 15 years of his life.  He was not homeless per se as he had a trailer in FL as home base, but chose that lifestyle as he enjoyed being outdoors, traveling, and visiting places.  He never, in 15 years, parked anywhere he was not invited, or was allowed to park.  Occasionally, he would tire and would sleep in a rest area, or even knock on a door to ask if the local property owner would mind if he spent the night in parked in an unobtrusive spot on their property (usually in rural farm areas). He was not a man of means.  I admire your compassion, but feel it is misplaced in this circumstance.


Side bar: I suspect your dogs might keep you out of more campgrounds than your RV (private ones at least).  Large aggressive breeds (as labeled by insurers, not me), are often not allowed due to insurance covenants on private campgrounds.
 
Tinmania said:
Do you have a citation for that 95% figure? I ask because in these times I would imagine a higher percentage did fall on hard times.




Mike

I pulled it a few years ago from a facility that deals with drug issues and the homeless.  I don't have the link to the source at the moment but trust me....its that high.  Don't kid yourself and think that people are living on the streets because they lost their great jobs.  People dont end up on the streets in that way.  They would find somewhere else to go with family, friends, etc.  There are MANY other opportunities for "normal"people that fall on hard times besides under a bridge with rats gnawing at your ear at night.  People dont let them stay over because they have a drug problem and most of the times the user is not willing to get treatment yet because they have not experienced their "bottom". 

This is too dangerous for most people to take on.  Be careful.
 
Diesel Don said:
I pulled it a few years ago from a facility that deals with drug issues and the homeless.  I don't have the link to the source at the moment but trust me....its that high.  Don't kid yourself and think that people are living on the streets because they lost their great jobs.  People dont end up on the streets in that way.  They would find somewhere else to go with family, friends, etc.  There are MANY other opportunities for "normal"people that fall on hard times besides under a bridge with rats gnawing at your ear at night.  People dont let them stay over because they have a drug problem and most of the times the user is not willing to get treatment yet because they have not experienced their "bottom". 

This is too dangerous for most people to take on.  Be careful.
I used to work with the homeless and I think the 95% figure is way too low. More like 99%. If you don't have a drug problem and you aren't a grade A alcoholic, then getting help from your family, friends or social services is not that difficult. Neither is it a problem to find a job. If you are on the streets it is because there is no other option and no one else will put up with your crap.
 
SeilerBird said:
I used to work with the homeless and I think the 95% figure is way too low. More like 99%. If you don't have a drug problem and you aren't a grade A alcoholic, then getting help from your family, friends or social services is not that difficult. Neither is it a problem to find a job. If you are on the streets it is because there is no other option and no one else will put up with your crap.

Yep.  Almost no reason for most homelessness.  Gotta dig in deeper and find the real reason.
 
Diesel Don said:
Yep.  Almost no reason for most homelessness.  Gotta dig in deeper and find the real reason.

Mental health is a huge factor as well.  Drug use is obviously one element contributing to that, but serious mental health problems like schizophrenia and sever bipolar disorder can very often lead to homelessness as well.  My sister was a mental health counselor for out patient mentally ill in MD some years back, and something like 50% of her patients had been homeless in the last year.
 
SeilerBird said:
I used to work with the homeless and I think the 95% figure is way too low. More like 99%. If you don't have a drug problem and you aren't a grade A alcoholic, then getting help from your family, friends or social services is not that difficult. Neither is it a problem to find a job. If you are on the streets it is because there is no other option and no one else will put up with your crap.
I don't work with homeless folks, but I do hire (and fire) for my dept. at work. Finding good help that can pass a random drug test is a serious issue. And yes, we have checked and our wages are inline with the rest of the area and a bit higher than some.
 
kdbgoat said:
I don't work with homeless folks, but I do hire (and fire) for my dept. at work. Finding good help that can pass a random drug test is a serious issue. And yes, we have checked and our wages are inline with the rest of the area and a bit higher than some.
How can the homeless afford drugs? And if they are homeless why not quit drugs and find a job?
 
SeilerBird said:
How can the homeless afford drugs? And if they are homeless why not quit drugs and find a job?

If you understood addiction, as does my wife who is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a drug and alcohol specialty, you would understand addiction is not logical and addicts will always find a way to procure their fix.

And while some homeless people have addictions, many more suffer other mental issues that compound the problem.

If it was as simple a solution as you suggest, the problem would not exist.
 
SeilerBird said:
How can the homeless afford drugs? And if they are homeless why not quit drugs and find a job?

There are many other ways to "pay" for drugs besides cash.  You have to expand your options here...  Like the last poster said, sadly its a lot more complicated than you can imagine.  If you only knew what these chemicals will do to an otherwise functioning human mind its amazing.  I'm so blessed to have never been hooked on any of it.  I've seen more damage done by drugs over the years than I care to say.
 
Diesel Don said:
There are many other ways to "pay" for drugs besides cash.  You have to expand your options here...  Like the last poster said, sadly its a lot more complicated than you can imagine.  If you only knew what these chemicals will do to an otherwise functioning human mind its amazing.  I'm so blessed to have never been hooked on any of it.  I've seen more damage done by drugs over the years than I care to say.
I don't have any trouble imagining it, I have been hooked on many things. I have unhooked myself from all of them. It is not hard if you really have the desire.
 
In recent years its been discovered that almost half the homeless men surveyed have had brain injuries that occurred before they became homeless, a lot of them as children.  Childhood brain injuries result in learning disabilities which will result in lower income as an adult, which is an indicator for potential homelessness. A lot of the homeless also have mental illness such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and similar disorders. The addictions more a symptom of these than the cause. 
 
Rene T said:
If it had been thirty years ago, I wouldn't have seen a problem with him staying overnight. And probably back then there wouldn't have been trash dumped in your yard. People have lost respect for other people. Don't feel bad. I would have been the first to call the PD.

So true Rene.  It is a much different world today than it was 30 or 40 years ago.  I can remember as a kid (over 60 years ago) when a tramp (nice old word huh?), one who was riding the rails, came to the back door and asked mom if he could work for a sandwich.  He did some leaf raking (saved me from it) and mom gave him a full meal along with ice tea and a couple of buck to help him along.  He didn't hang around and moved along which was what 'tramps' usually did in those days.  What Tunie had was just a bum looking for a place to squat overnight (maybe in more ways than one) in between trips to the food kitchen during the day.  As I said, to me it is a different world we live in now.  Trust and compassion is not nearly as freely given as before - AND - for good reasons sometimes.
 
...And poverty in this country is largely a choice in comparison to many other places around the world.
The government does an excellent job for the most part in creating and enabling income inequality via the welfare state.
There are also an awful lot of people who just don't want to work or take any responsibility for themselves whatsoever.

So the next time you find yourself in need to offer your sympathies to someone you THINK is down & out, make certain that it's well placed.
 
And that is a large part of the problem! Certainly there are disabled people and we should  try to support them, but when it gets to the third or fourth generation, it's time for tough love.

I've also tried to find EE's, who would at least show up, without notable success.  I even initiated a program at a major corp. where I was able to forgive failing drug tests and similar problems,  but ultimately had to give up due to consistent recidivism despite counseling and other support measures. No way to hold them accountable!!

And lest you think I'm a silly PC type, I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, got a ninth grade education, left home and retired comfortably by taking advantage of the opportunities that are everywhere in this great country. Sympathy,  yes for some, but many others simply find it more comfortable to live off the rest of us!

Ernie
 

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