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Author Topic: The lighter side of a colonoscopy  (Read 4968 times)

denmarc

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The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« on: May 10, 2016, 12:25:15 PM »
I was the designated driver for my DW for her colonoscopy yesterday. After all the bitching I was hearing about the nasty tasting stuff she had to drink, I just couldn't wait to get this whole ordeal over with. We checked in, the procedure began, they called me in when she was in recovery. Everything went well.
While in the little curtain walled cubicle waiting to be released, a little old lady was wheeled into the cubicle right next door. I'm not kidding about the "little old lady" mention. She was in the waiting area with us and must of went in shortly after us.
Anyhow, I was just sitting there quietly while the wife slept. The DW didn't get much sleep the night before having to get up to drink the nasty stuff in time for a morning procedure.
I hear the nurse walk into the neighbors cubicle and ask how she was doing. Only a mumble was heard. The nurse asked if she had passed gas at all. Mumble. "Try" the nurse said.

That's when I heard the most award winning, blue ribbon flatulence I have ever heard! I wondered if the women completely deflated to the likes of a popped balloon! Sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing. Totally caught me by surprise. I couldn't believe that little lady could have that much air in her!

I've heard all the jokes. I don't mean to disguise the importance of having a colonoscopy. My advice is to just do it and get it over with. It could mean your life. Keep a sense of humor about it. Everyone understands.
If you get a giggle out of it, that's a plus.     
Mark

1994 Jayco Eagle 370FB on 24 acres of paid off paradise in Michigan.

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Sun2Retire

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2016, 12:39:45 PM »
I don't mean to disguise the importance of having a colonoscopy. Keep a sense of humor about it. Everyone understands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI1go72c5H8

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SMR

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2016, 12:55:36 PM »
Scott- that was so wrong!! LOL
Gonna put the world away for a minute......
Steve
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BinaryBob

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2016, 01:37:35 PM »
LOL.. Too funny!
I find those stupid gowns that don't close properly are very challenging, but when you're ambling down the hallway after the procedure.... being led by the arm by a pretty nurse.... full of those wonderful drugs they give you......buck naked with gown flowing in the breeze......you really don't care....ABOUT ANYTHING!  ;D ;D

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Rene T

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2016, 01:43:35 PM »
LOL.. Too funny!
I find those stupid gowns that don't close properly are very challenging, but when you're ambling down the hallway after the procedure.... being led by the arm by a pretty nurse.... full of those wonderful drugs they give you......buck naked with gown flowing in the breeze......you really don't care....ABOUT ANYTHING!  ;D ;D

I've had it done three times and I never walked that I can remember. I do every three years. It's funny, I just received a postcard in the mail last week saying it was time again. I called to make the appointment and I asked if the doctor thought it was really necessary to have it done this year. I got word just a 1/2 hour ago, that I could wait another year WHEW!!!!. I think the procedure is nothing but then again I'm out. The worst part is the prepping YUK!!!!
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BinaryBob

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2016, 02:14:36 PM »
I recently had #2 (no pun intended).... and found the prep drink not nearly as disgusting as colonoscopy #1.
However, ya still can't escape being bungee corded to the toilet for a day... :(
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Jim Fitz

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2016, 02:45:35 PM »
The colonoscopy is actually a piece of cake....but the prep.....whew!!!!!  Terrible!!!
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Larry N.

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2016, 03:03:24 PM »
Quote
The worst part is the prepping YUK!!!!

Quote
The colonoscopy is actually a piece of cake....but the prep.....whew!!!!!  Terrible!!!

Amen!
Larry and Mary Ann N.
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SeilerBird

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2016, 03:35:25 PM »
I just got one a few weeks ago and mine was painful. Not the actual colonoscopy, but the IV. It took the nurse three times to get a vein. The first attempt was extremely painful. The second attempt was not as painful but the next week I had a purple hand.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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NY_Dutch

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2016, 03:40:31 PM »
The best part of my last colonoscopy was when the doctor came in while I was in recovery, and said everything was fine and she'd see me again in 10 years! I was 72 at the time, so I'm really hoping I will see her again! ;)
Dutch
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Molaker

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2016, 05:37:10 PM »
I'm waiting on an appointment, too.  It will be my 2nd bout.  My 1st was 6 yrs ago.  The "clean out" is bad enough, but I'm on Warfarin (Coumadin) and I have have to get off it 5 days in advance.  It's called "bridging anti-coagulation".  To do so requires I get on a Lovenox routine for those 5 days.  You don't know what you're missing if you haven't done that.  I get to shoot myself in the belly twice a day.  By the time it is over, it usually looks like someone has beat me with a rubber hose.  Fun, fun!
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Just Lou

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2016, 08:30:48 PM »
I'm waiting on an appointment, too.  It will be my 2nd bout.  My 1st was 6 yrs ago.  The "clean out" is bad enough, but I'm on Warfarin (Coumadin) and I have have to get off it 5 days in advance.  It's called "bridging anti-coagulation".  To do so requires I get on a Lovenox routine for those 5 days.  You don't know what you're missing if you haven't done that.  I get to shoot myself in the belly twice a day.  By the time it is over, it usually looks like someone has beat me with a rubber hose.  Fun, fun!
Tom, are we twins by any chance?
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8Muddypaws

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2016, 09:56:42 PM »
Today I'm halfway through 'the prep'.  The last time I had one was back in the castor oil days.  That was horrible and this is a piece of cake by comparison.

I was mostly awake last time.  I confessed to being the second gunman on the grassy knoll, spotted Jmmy Hoffa on the monitor, and ducked the bats flying out of that cave.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2016, 10:48:53 PM by 8Muddypaws »
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whiteva

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2016, 07:18:56 AM »
OH yes the prep.. :(.. After drinking obvious acid, I  ran to the toilet  hollering get everyone out of the way. The cat followed to see what all the fuss was about, however on the first surprise volley that followed, kitty screamed a horrible sound and ran under the bed for two days. Next day at 6:am the Alaska pipeline was shoved up and found the grand canyon was flushed clean and would not need further inspection for 10 years. The recovery hall had such huge fart sounds that would make midnight in a hunting lodge proud! I must admit I thought mine deserved at least a blue ribbon.  ;)
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Jim Fitz

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2016, 09:15:58 AM »
I agree with a couple of you....the best thing I heard on my last one was "10 years."
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Ernie n Tara

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2016, 09:27:05 AM »
Amen!

Ernie
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dave54

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #16 on: May 11, 2016, 09:35:19 AM »
That stuff did not work on me.  I drank the whole gallon, as per the instructions.  Nothing happened other than I sloshed and had a big belly.  Waited, and waited.  Nothing.   I was miserable when I arrived at the hospital.  I explained nothing happened, and nurses looked at me aghast.  They told the doctor who also was shocked.  He ordered a suppository and an injection of something. 

5 minutes later ... KABOOM!!!!!    All Done.
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murphysranch

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #17 on: May 11, 2016, 10:13:41 AM »
I'm truly LOL'ing right now. Everything above is soooo true!
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Jeff in Ferndale Wa

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #18 on: May 11, 2016, 10:29:46 AM »
I've had three now.
The first time I woke up in the middle of it and said to the doctor,"You told me I wouldn't feel a thing" He about fainted!
next two times they  used more anesthesia.
Third time I had to have an endoscopy at the same appointment to check my esophagus. Colonoscopy first. He assured me that he would clean the device before doing the endoscopy!
The first time was the nasty prep.2nd and third not so bad.
This year I went for my pre procedure appointment and the doc told me I could wait another year.

We can make light of these, but it's important that we do them.
They found precancerous polyps my  first and second and were able to remove them before they caused trouble
My wife had her first at 52 and they found cancer.It was early enough that they were able to get it with surgery and no chemo or radiation.
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SeilerBird

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #19 on: May 11, 2016, 11:05:51 AM »
This is a crappy thread. :o
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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Ned

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #20 on: May 11, 2016, 11:16:13 AM »
When I consulted with my GE about the colonoscopy I was just starting showing the symptoms of something else. He then added an endoscopy to follow the colonoscopy.  He found a tumor in advanced stage and biopsied it, is was cancer of the esophagus.
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SeilerBird

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #21 on: May 11, 2016, 11:21:24 AM »
I also had an endoscopy to follow my colonoscopy and the dr found trace of reflux and prescribed a pill for me to take to make sure it doesn't advance. One small non cancerous polyp was found during the colonoscopy which was removed. Now I am good for 3 to 5 years on the colon and one year on the endo.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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BinaryBob

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #22 on: May 11, 2016, 11:34:56 AM »
Doc on follow up consult -  "During the colonoscopy, I noticed you have not had your tonsils removed."
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kdbgoat

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #23 on: May 11, 2016, 11:50:26 AM »
When I consulted with my GE about the colonoscopy I was just starting showing the symptoms of something else. He then added an endoscopy to follow the colonoscopy.  He found a tumor in advanced stage and biopsied it, is was cancer of the esophagus.

Take care of that stuff Ned, life can be rough enough without that.

I also had an endoscopy to follow my colonoscopy and the dr found trace of reflux and prescribed a pill for me to take to make sure it doesn't advance. One small non cancerous polyp was found during the colonoscopy which was removed. Now I am good for 3 to 5 years on the colon and one year on the endo.

My last endo found I had Barrett's. Put me on Nexium for the rest of my life. I'm not much on taking pills, so I looked at different things as an alternative. I was vaping at the time and had been for a while. Stopped vaping, everything seems to be fine now. For my system, the side effects of pills are worse than what they are trying to take care of, along with they mostly treat the symptoms, not fixing the problem. Had high blood pressure, was prescribed pills, made me feel worse. Started exercising more, and cut a LOT of salt out of my diet. Blood pressure is fine now. Have high cholesterol, especially high trig's, was put put on different types of statins. Made me feel a LOT worse along with screwing up my thigh muscles. I cut out added sugar and avoid high fructose corn syrup like the plague. Along with the added exercise, levels are a lot better than even when taking the statins, especially the trig's. Never once did the Dr.'s discuss lifestyle changes (other than stop smoking) before prescribing meds.
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Rene T

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #24 on: May 11, 2016, 12:14:10 PM »
When I consulted with my GE about the colonoscopy I was just starting showing the symptoms of something else. He then added an endoscopy to follow the colonoscopy.  He found a tumor in advanced stage and biopsied it, is was cancer of the esophagus.

How long ago was that Ned?
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Derby6

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2016, 01:10:50 PM »
This is a crappy thread. :o

Yea, no kidding. 
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Ned

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2016, 01:26:47 PM »
How long ago was that Ned?

Last December.  I've been on chemotherapy since.  2 more sessions to go.
-- Ned -- Fulltimer 1997-2013
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Rene T

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #27 on: May 11, 2016, 01:40:27 PM »
Last December.  I've been on chemotherapy since.  2 more sessions to go.

Hope things go well for you
Rene & Lucille & co-pilot Buddy
AKA  Pep N Mem
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denmarc

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #28 on: May 11, 2016, 02:29:50 PM »
Thinking of you, Ned. Keep your head up and stay strong. Sounds like your progress is good. Don't give in and keep fighting.
Mark

1994 Jayco Eagle 370FB on 24 acres of paid off paradise in Michigan.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
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jackiemac

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #29 on: May 11, 2016, 04:44:32 PM »
Wow your health care seems to be much more sophisticated than ours in the UK.  For your 50th birthday you get a kit to smear your poo on. Pop it in the post and get results back a week or so later. If there is something iffy then you go for testing.  If cleaf you get the kit again 2 years later. Unless that's what's going on here?

Anyhow I wish you all good health and sending very best wishes to you Ned for a good outcome from your treatment.
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