The lighter side of a colonoscopy

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denmarc

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Aug 8, 2009
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I was the designated driver for my DW for her colonoscopy yesterday. After all the bitching I was hearing about the nasty tasting stuff she had to drink, I just couldn't wait to get this whole ordeal over with. We checked in, the procedure began, they called me in when she was in recovery. Everything went well.
While in the little curtain walled cubicle waiting to be released, a little old lady was wheeled into the cubicle right next door. I'm not kidding about the "little old lady" mention. She was in the waiting area with us and must of went in shortly after us.
Anyhow, I was just sitting there quietly while the wife slept. The DW didn't get much sleep the night before having to get up to drink the nasty stuff in time for a morning procedure.
I hear the nurse walk into the neighbors cubicle and ask how she was doing. Only a mumble was heard. The nurse asked if she had passed gas at all. Mumble. "Try" the nurse said.

That's when I heard the most award winning, blue ribbon flatulence I have ever heard! I wondered if the women completely deflated to the likes of a popped balloon! Sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing. Totally caught me by surprise. I couldn't believe that little lady could have that much air in her!

I've heard all the jokes. I don't mean to disguise the importance of having a colonoscopy. My advice is to just do it and get it over with. It could mean your life. Keep a sense of humor about it. Everyone understands.
If you get a giggle out of it, that's a plus.   
 
denmarc said:
I don't mean to disguise the importance of having a colonoscopy. Keep a sense of humor about it. Everyone understands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI1go72c5H8

 
LOL.. Too funny!
I find those stupid gowns that don't close properly are very challenging, but when you're ambling down the hallway after the procedure.... being led by the arm by a pretty nurse.... full of those wonderful drugs they give you......buck naked with gown flowing in the breeze......you really don't care....ABOUT ANYTHING!  ;D ;D

 
BinaryBob said:
LOL.. Too funny!
I find those stupid gowns that don't close properly are very challenging, but when you're ambling down the hallway after the procedure.... being led by the arm by a pretty nurse.... full of those wonderful drugs they give you......buck naked with gown flowing in the breeze......you really don't care....ABOUT ANYTHING!  ;D ;D

I've had it done three times and I never walked that I can remember. I do every three years. It's funny, I just received a postcard in the mail last week saying it was time again. I called to make the appointment and I asked if the doctor thought it was really necessary to have it done this year. I got word just a 1/2 hour ago, that I could wait another year WHEW!!!!. I think the procedure is nothing but then again I'm out. The worst part is the prepping YUK!!!!
 
I recently had #2 (no pun intended).... and found the prep drink not nearly as disgusting as colonoscopy #1.
However, ya still can't escape being bungee corded to the toilet for a day... :(
 
I just got one a few weeks ago and mine was painful. Not the actual colonoscopy, but the IV. It took the nurse three times to get a vein. The first attempt was extremely painful. The second attempt was not as painful but the next week I had a purple hand.
 
The best part of my last colonoscopy was when the doctor came in while I was in recovery, and said everything was fine and she'd see me again in 10 years! I was 72 at the time, so I'm really hoping I will see her again! ;)
 
I'm waiting on an appointment, too.  It will be my 2nd bout.  My 1st was 6 yrs ago.  The "clean out" is bad enough, but I'm on Warfarin (Coumadin) and I have have to get off it 5 days in advance.  It's called "bridging anti-coagulation".  To do so requires I get on a Lovenox routine for those 5 days.  You don't know what you're missing if you haven't done that.  I get to shoot myself in the belly twice a day.  By the time it is over, it usually looks like someone has beat me with a rubber hose.  Fun, fun!
 
Molaker said:
I'm waiting on an appointment, too.  It will be my 2nd bout.  My 1st was 6 yrs ago.  The "clean out" is bad enough, but I'm on Warfarin (Coumadin) and I have have to get off it 5 days in advance.  It's called "bridging anti-coagulation".  To do so requires I get on a Lovenox routine for those 5 days.  You don't know what you're missing if you haven't done that.  I get to shoot myself in the belly twice a day.  By the time it is over, it usually looks like someone has beat me with a rubber hose.  Fun, fun!
Tom, are we twins by any chance?
 
Today I'm halfway through 'the prep'.  The last time I had one was back in the castor oil days.  That was horrible and this is a piece of cake by comparison.

I was mostly awake last time.  I confessed to being the second gunman on the grassy knoll, spotted Jmmy Hoffa on the monitor, and ducked the bats flying out of that cave.
 
OH yes the prep.. :(.. After drinking obvious acid, I  ran to the toilet  hollering get everyone out of the way. The cat followed to see what all the fuss was about, however on the first surprise volley that followed, kitty screamed a horrible sound and ran under the bed for two days. Next day at 6:am the Alaska pipeline was shoved up and found the grand canyon was flushed clean and would not need further inspection for 10 years. The recovery hall had such huge fart sounds that would make midnight in a hunting lodge proud! I must admit I thought mine deserved at least a blue ribbon.  ;)
 
That stuff did not work on me.  I drank the whole gallon, as per the instructions.  Nothing happened other than I sloshed and had a big belly.  Waited, and waited.  Nothing.  I was miserable when I arrived at the hospital.  I explained nothing happened, and nurses looked at me aghast.  They told the doctor who also was shocked.  He ordered a suppository and an injection of something. 

5 minutes later ... KABOOM!!!!!    All Done.
 
I've had three now.
The first time I woke up in the middle of it and said to the doctor,"You told me I wouldn't feel a thing" He about fainted!
next two times they  used more anesthesia.
Third time I had to have an endoscopy at the same appointment to check my esophagus. Colonoscopy first. He assured me that he would clean the device before doing the endoscopy!
The first time was the nasty prep.2nd and third not so bad.
This year I went for my pre procedure appointment and the doc told me I could wait another year.

We can make light of these, but it's important that we do them.
They found precancerous polyps my  first and second and were able to remove them before they caused trouble
My wife had her first at 52 and they found cancer.It was early enough that they were able to get it with surgery and no chemo or radiation.
 

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