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Author Topic: The lighter side of a colonoscopy  (Read 4946 times)

denmarc

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The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« on: May 10, 2016, 12:25:15 PM »
I was the designated driver for my DW for her colonoscopy yesterday. After all the bitching I was hearing about the nasty tasting stuff she had to drink, I just couldn't wait to get this whole ordeal over with. We checked in, the procedure began, they called me in when she was in recovery. Everything went well.
While in the little curtain walled cubicle waiting to be released, a little old lady was wheeled into the cubicle right next door. I'm not kidding about the "little old lady" mention. She was in the waiting area with us and must of went in shortly after us.
Anyhow, I was just sitting there quietly while the wife slept. The DW didn't get much sleep the night before having to get up to drink the nasty stuff in time for a morning procedure.
I hear the nurse walk into the neighbors cubicle and ask how she was doing. Only a mumble was heard. The nurse asked if she had passed gas at all. Mumble. "Try" the nurse said.

That's when I heard the most award winning, blue ribbon flatulence I have ever heard! I wondered if the women completely deflated to the likes of a popped balloon! Sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing. Totally caught me by surprise. I couldn't believe that little lady could have that much air in her!

I've heard all the jokes. I don't mean to disguise the importance of having a colonoscopy. My advice is to just do it and get it over with. It could mean your life. Keep a sense of humor about it. Everyone understands.
If you get a giggle out of it, that's a plus.     
Mark

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Sun2Retire

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2016, 12:39:45 PM »
I don't mean to disguise the importance of having a colonoscopy. Keep a sense of humor about it. Everyone understands.

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SMR

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2016, 12:55:36 PM »
Scott- that was so wrong!! LOL
Gonna put the world away for a minute......
Steve
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BinaryBob

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2016, 01:37:35 PM »
LOL.. Too funny!
I find those stupid gowns that don't close properly are very challenging, but when you're ambling down the hallway after the procedure.... being led by the arm by a pretty nurse.... full of those wonderful drugs they give you......buck naked with gown flowing in the breeze......you really don't care....ABOUT ANYTHING!  ;D ;D

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Rene T

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2016, 01:43:35 PM »
LOL.. Too funny!
I find those stupid gowns that don't close properly are very challenging, but when you're ambling down the hallway after the procedure.... being led by the arm by a pretty nurse.... full of those wonderful drugs they give you......buck naked with gown flowing in the breeze......you really don't care....ABOUT ANYTHING!  ;D ;D

I've had it done three times and I never walked that I can remember. I do every three years. It's funny, I just received a postcard in the mail last week saying it was time again. I called to make the appointment and I asked if the doctor thought it was really necessary to have it done this year. I got word just a 1/2 hour ago, that I could wait another year WHEW!!!!. I think the procedure is nothing but then again I'm out. The worst part is the prepping YUK!!!!
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BinaryBob

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2016, 02:14:36 PM »
I recently had #2 (no pun intended).... and found the prep drink not nearly as disgusting as colonoscopy #1.
However, ya still can't escape being bungee corded to the toilet for a day... :(
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Jim Fitz

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2016, 02:45:35 PM »
The colonoscopy is actually a piece of cake....but the prep.....whew!!!!!  Terrible!!!
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Larry N.

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2016, 03:03:24 PM »
Quote
The worst part is the prepping YUK!!!!

Quote
The colonoscopy is actually a piece of cake....but the prep.....whew!!!!!  Terrible!!!

Amen!
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SeilerBird

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2016, 03:35:25 PM »
I just got one a few weeks ago and mine was painful. Not the actual colonoscopy, but the IV. It took the nurse three times to get a vein. The first attempt was extremely painful. The second attempt was not as painful but the next week I had a purple hand.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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NY_Dutch

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2016, 03:40:31 PM »
The best part of my last colonoscopy was when the doctor came in while I was in recovery, and said everything was fine and she'd see me again in 10 years! I was 72 at the time, so I'm really hoping I will see her again! ;)
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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2016, 05:37:10 PM »
I'm waiting on an appointment, too.  It will be my 2nd bout.  My 1st was 6 yrs ago.  The "clean out" is bad enough, but I'm on Warfarin (Coumadin) and I have have to get off it 5 days in advance.  It's called "bridging anti-coagulation".  To do so requires I get on a Lovenox routine for those 5 days.  You don't know what you're missing if you haven't done that.  I get to shoot myself in the belly twice a day.  By the time it is over, it usually looks like someone has beat me with a rubber hose.  Fun, fun!
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Just Lou

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2016, 08:30:48 PM »
I'm waiting on an appointment, too.  It will be my 2nd bout.  My 1st was 6 yrs ago.  The "clean out" is bad enough, but I'm on Warfarin (Coumadin) and I have have to get off it 5 days in advance.  It's called "bridging anti-coagulation".  To do so requires I get on a Lovenox routine for those 5 days.  You don't know what you're missing if you haven't done that.  I get to shoot myself in the belly twice a day.  By the time it is over, it usually looks like someone has beat me with a rubber hose.  Fun, fun!
Tom, are we twins by any chance?
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8Muddypaws

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2016, 09:56:42 PM »
Today I'm halfway through 'the prep'.  The last time I had one was back in the castor oil days.  That was horrible and this is a piece of cake by comparison.

I was mostly awake last time.  I confessed to being the second gunman on the grassy knoll, spotted Jmmy Hoffa on the monitor, and ducked the bats flying out of that cave.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2016, 10:48:53 PM by 8Muddypaws »
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whiteva

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2016, 07:18:56 AM »
OH yes the prep.. :(.. After drinking obvious acid, I  ran to the toilet  hollering get everyone out of the way. The cat followed to see what all the fuss was about, however on the first surprise volley that followed, kitty screamed a horrible sound and ran under the bed for two days. Next day at 6:am the Alaska pipeline was shoved up and found the grand canyon was flushed clean and would not need further inspection for 10 years. The recovery hall had such huge fart sounds that would make midnight in a hunting lodge proud! I must admit I thought mine deserved at least a blue ribbon.  ;)
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Jim Fitz

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2016, 09:15:58 AM »
I agree with a couple of you....the best thing I heard on my last one was "10 years."
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Ernie n Tara

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2016, 09:27:05 AM »
Amen!

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dave54

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #16 on: May 11, 2016, 09:35:19 AM »
That stuff did not work on me.  I drank the whole gallon, as per the instructions.  Nothing happened other than I sloshed and had a big belly.  Waited, and waited.  Nothing.   I was miserable when I arrived at the hospital.  I explained nothing happened, and nurses looked at me aghast.  They told the doctor who also was shocked.  He ordered a suppository and an injection of something. 

5 minutes later ... KABOOM!!!!!    All Done.
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murphysranch

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #17 on: May 11, 2016, 10:13:41 AM »
I'm truly LOL'ing right now. Everything above is soooo true!
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Jeff in Ferndale Wa

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #18 on: May 11, 2016, 10:29:46 AM »
I've had three now.
The first time I woke up in the middle of it and said to the doctor,"You told me I wouldn't feel a thing" He about fainted!
next two times they  used more anesthesia.
Third time I had to have an endoscopy at the same appointment to check my esophagus. Colonoscopy first. He assured me that he would clean the device before doing the endoscopy!
The first time was the nasty prep.2nd and third not so bad.
This year I went for my pre procedure appointment and the doc told me I could wait another year.

We can make light of these, but it's important that we do them.
They found precancerous polyps my  first and second and were able to remove them before they caused trouble
My wife had her first at 52 and they found cancer.It was early enough that they were able to get it with surgery and no chemo or radiation.
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SeilerBird

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #19 on: May 11, 2016, 11:05:51 AM »
This is a crappy thread. :o
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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Ned

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #20 on: May 11, 2016, 11:16:13 AM »
When I consulted with my GE about the colonoscopy I was just starting showing the symptoms of something else. He then added an endoscopy to follow the colonoscopy.  He found a tumor in advanced stage and biopsied it, is was cancer of the esophagus.
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SeilerBird

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #21 on: May 11, 2016, 11:21:24 AM »
I also had an endoscopy to follow my colonoscopy and the dr found trace of reflux and prescribed a pill for me to take to make sure it doesn't advance. One small non cancerous polyp was found during the colonoscopy which was removed. Now I am good for 3 to 5 years on the colon and one year on the endo.
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BinaryBob

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #22 on: May 11, 2016, 11:34:56 AM »
Doc on follow up consult -  "During the colonoscopy, I noticed you have not had your tonsils removed."
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kdbgoat

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #23 on: May 11, 2016, 11:50:26 AM »
When I consulted with my GE about the colonoscopy I was just starting showing the symptoms of something else. He then added an endoscopy to follow the colonoscopy.  He found a tumor in advanced stage and biopsied it, is was cancer of the esophagus.

Take care of that stuff Ned, life can be rough enough without that.

I also had an endoscopy to follow my colonoscopy and the dr found trace of reflux and prescribed a pill for me to take to make sure it doesn't advance. One small non cancerous polyp was found during the colonoscopy which was removed. Now I am good for 3 to 5 years on the colon and one year on the endo.

My last endo found I had Barrett's. Put me on Nexium for the rest of my life. I'm not much on taking pills, so I looked at different things as an alternative. I was vaping at the time and had been for a while. Stopped vaping, everything seems to be fine now. For my system, the side effects of pills are worse than what they are trying to take care of, along with they mostly treat the symptoms, not fixing the problem. Had high blood pressure, was prescribed pills, made me feel worse. Started exercising more, and cut a LOT of salt out of my diet. Blood pressure is fine now. Have high cholesterol, especially high trig's, was put put on different types of statins. Made me feel a LOT worse along with screwing up my thigh muscles. I cut out added sugar and avoid high fructose corn syrup like the plague. Along with the added exercise, levels are a lot better than even when taking the statins, especially the trig's. Never once did the Dr.'s discuss lifestyle changes (other than stop smoking) before prescribing meds.
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Rene T

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #24 on: May 11, 2016, 12:14:10 PM »
When I consulted with my GE about the colonoscopy I was just starting showing the symptoms of something else. He then added an endoscopy to follow the colonoscopy.  He found a tumor in advanced stage and biopsied it, is was cancer of the esophagus.

How long ago was that Ned?
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Derby6

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2016, 01:10:50 PM »
This is a crappy thread. :o

Yea, no kidding. 
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Ned

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2016, 01:26:47 PM »
How long ago was that Ned?

Last December.  I've been on chemotherapy since.  2 more sessions to go.
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Rene T

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #27 on: May 11, 2016, 01:40:27 PM »
Last December.  I've been on chemotherapy since.  2 more sessions to go.

Hope things go well for you
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denmarc

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #28 on: May 11, 2016, 02:29:50 PM »
Thinking of you, Ned. Keep your head up and stay strong. Sounds like your progress is good. Don't give in and keep fighting.
Mark

1994 Jayco Eagle 370FB on 24 acres of paid off paradise in Michigan.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
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jackiemac

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #29 on: May 11, 2016, 04:44:32 PM »
Wow your health care seems to be much more sophisticated than ours in the UK.  For your 50th birthday you get a kit to smear your poo on. Pop it in the post and get results back a week or so later. If there is something iffy then you go for testing.  If cleaf you get the kit again 2 years later. Unless that's what's going on here?

Anyhow I wish you all good health and sending very best wishes to you Ned for a good outcome from your treatment.
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8Muddypaws

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #30 on: May 11, 2016, 09:31:51 PM »
Well, it really was a piece of cake.  I was in & out in a coule of hours.  The cute nurse asked me what my pain tolerance was like and I told her about not letting my dentist use novocaine, then she asked about my gross tolerance, so I told her about watching the artificial joint being installed in my foot.  They didn't knocke me out, just a little relaxed.  I watched the whole thing on the monitor.  One small polyp clipped and fried.  I don't know if they found anything to be concerned about.

I guess one part of me is lucky.
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trdiller

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #31 on: May 12, 2016, 08:01:07 AM »
Wow your health care seems to be much more sophisticated than ours in the UK.  For your 50th birthday you get a kit to smear your poo on. Pop it in the post and get results back a week or so later. If there is something iffy then you go for testing.  If cleaf you get the kit again 2 years later. Unless that's what's going on here?

Anyhow I wish you all good health and sending very best wishes to you Ned for a good outcome from your treatment.

I think the test you mention is for prostrate issues and not for colon cancer screening.

I was first violated  by this colonoscopy last fall.  The liquid used to clean me out did such a good job my farts echoed.  One polyp was found and removed  so they want to see me again in 5 years. I figure it took 57 years for that one polyp how could another show up in 5 years. She who must be obeyed will probably make sure I get tested again in 5 years.

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #32 on: May 12, 2016, 09:14:08 AM »
Quote
I figure it took 57 years for that one polyp how could another show up in 5 years.

Another way to look at it is that it took 56 years to decide to show up and 1 year to show up.
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jackiemac

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #33 on: May 12, 2016, 12:24:14 PM »
I think the test you mention is for prostrate issues and not for colon cancer screening.

No, it's for bowel cancer. I am a female so don't have one of those
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Bill N

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2016, 01:40:37 PM »
Amen!
Double amen to the prep being the worst part.  I have had 3 and also never had to walk until I was dressed but the last was the worst.  It took me exactly 27 days to have a 'movement' again and after several emails between the doc and me (and lost of Mira-Lax and Benefiber, the most wonderful day of my life was when the plumbing got to working again.

Question:  I was told by my doc that because I am 76 and this is my 3rd procedure I will not be eligible for having another no matter how many more years I live.  Also was told they don't do PSA tests on folks my age anymore either because the corrective action for anything found would be worse than letting the condition continue on.  Sounds like 'death panels' to me.
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denmarc

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #35 on: May 15, 2016, 03:55:54 AM »
A cute joke I heard years ago about a colonoscopy procedure...
A gentleman was in recovery and was in the midst of regaining his composure. The Dr. came in to show him the pics and to let him know that all is well. Nothing abnormal found.
The gentleman then ask his doc for a written note to give to his wife telling her that his head is truly not up there.  ;) 
Mark

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William52

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2016, 12:34:03 AM »
I have had two never again Brother in law walked in and never left the hospital something very wrong happened they killed him. Was his third one . Malpractice suite in progress. Sad day for my family.
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Bill N

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2016, 06:17:36 AM »
I have had two never again Brother in law walked in and never left the hospital something very wrong happened they killed him. Was his third one . Malpractice suite in progress. Sad day for my family.

Lots of details missing there William.  Hope your post does not discourage anyone from having this most valuable medical procedure performed.  Any invasive procedure does have risks but this one is not that high.
Bill & Joan N in Missouri
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kwbush

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2016, 08:21:23 AM »
This was the funniest thread I've ever had the pleasure of reading!

I have been on the forum for a little over a year now and have followed many of the posts y'all have made not really knowing how old many of you were. I assumed most to be in their 40's as the majority of campers I run into are around that age, I'm typically the old man in the campground! I was pleasantly surprised to learn most of you are around my age.

I recognize that while the procedure may be life saving, at my age (70) that one ain't ever gonna happen... :-[ Just got through my first bout with Kidney stones and, well, pray there is never a second. :'(

Gentlemen/ladies be well and best of health to y'all! Still laughing and wife thinks I'm nuts...

Keith

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2016, 08:53:27 AM »
My DH, known for his really sick sense of humor, has had 2 of them now. Both times, as he was finishing up, he said to the techs, "That was fun, can I come back next week?"  :o
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BobNSam

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Re: The lighter side of a colonoscopy
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2016, 10:34:31 AM »
A lot of funny, a lot of real, all for an important health exam. But there are bad things that can happen.
My most recent involved what they called evolved/trapped gas after a routine colonoscopy.
1. The bad...about an hour after leaving hospital I started having the worse cramps and pain I can remember ever having. And it did not ease. After two hours I went to the ER, doubled over, cramped up and generally not in a good place. I have found that pain is not the priority in ERs, bleeding is.
2. The funny...After finally being seen by physician his treatment plan was to install another tube up the most direct route to the trapped gas and have me walk the hallways until pain eased. Step, toot, step toot for over an hour. Pain finally left along with the toots.
3. The real...nothing found in the exam...clear for another five years.
As another poster said... I will NOT have another unless than can guarantee NO TRAPPED GAS.
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