My other half doesn't like RVing...

Could't find any thread with this problem of mine...
I loved to travel all my life and as soon as we start going places I imagined living on the road, somehow. I lived for 33 years in eastern Europe and haven't seen so many RV's over there, but we went tent camping and we've seen some countries, traveling in our small car and sleeping in motels. My husband was never such a camping fanatic, always hating to put the tent up or down, to inflate the mattress. He said he liked to travel, but not to sleep in tents and campgrounds, even though we saved a lot of moneys this way.
A few months ago I kind of twist his arm to get a TT and a truck and we went in two long trips (KS-TX and KS-NV), w/ the kids in the first one and w/ kids and my parents in the second one.
He works on the internet and we could do this at least 3 months/ year (the big kid's vacation), but he hates every second of it. I guess he's a homebody. In every trip he complains about the problems on the road, the lack of space, the physical work... I don't want to sound too whiny or bad mouth him, I just want to ask you guys and gals if I should give him more room to accommodate to the RV life or just drop the whole idea of a partial on the road life?
I'm willing to buy a conversion van to travel alone, at some point maybe during the summer if the kids stay w/ the grandparents. I've noticed that a lot of you are empty nesters so it would be much easier after the kids leave for college, but what could I do if I don't share this passion for traveling w/ my husband?

My wife is a homebody, too, so I understand your problem all too well. But, like you, I like to travel. There are things she likes that I don't, also, so we compromise and do a few trips each year, while I do a few things she likes that aren't my favorite. Our trips are generally not much over two weeks, but she has fun at times while we're gone, and is cheerful about it, but still considers her theme song to be "I wanna go home...". We're currently talking about where to go for our 50th wedding anniversary, and she's actually enthusiastic (almost a first) when talking about a couple of places.

Note that we're in a motorhome (with a 4-down Jeep toad), not a trailer, and I find the MH easier to set up than even a simple trailer.

...if I should give him more room to accommodate to the RV life or just drop the whole idea of a partial on the road life?

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Try, at least for an occasional trip, to pick a place to go that he'd really enjoy, such as the Air Force Museum in Dayton, OH (if that's his interest), or the Henry Ford Museum and the adjacent Greenfield Village near Detroit. Or, if he's a big fisherman there are good places for that, plus golfers might enjoy certain big name golf courses in California, Florida, etc.

If none of that works, you''ll have to talk it over and make a decision that works for you two. Note that there is at least one woman on this forum who traveled alone (actually with a dependent daughter -- hubby was overseas) for several years, so that's doable if he's agreeable to that.

Good luck.

Larry N. said:

If none of that works, you''ll have to talk it over and make a decision that works for you two. Note that there is at least one woman on this forum who traveled alone (actually with a dependent daughter -- hubby was overseas) for several years, so that's doable if he's agreeable to that.

Good luck.

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The same person came to my mind when I read the OP.

Please PM w/ the brave lady's name. Or post here. I've seen on YT,  some lone women traveling the country.
He hates fishing while I just bought 2 fishing rods. He's not into sports either. He's into science and astronomy. I hoped he'll enjoy the great outdoors and the night sky @ Grand Canyon. He liked it but doesn't plan another trip without me constantly remind him and nagging him. I even found the biggest and best preserved meteor crater and he liked to visit it. But... he's Ok just to watch documentaries and movies about real things.
But thanks for the idea, I'll find more interesting places to visit.
I just thought of spending a week in the TT close to home in a NP w/ the wee one if no other trips come up this summer. The bigger girl loves the comfort of a motel and the indoors life, because she's following his footsteps.

Guguluff said:

I don't want to sound too whiny or bad mouth him, 

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I don't think you're the whiny one. 

Bill

Her username is PatStab. She used to go by PatrioticStabilist (sp) until she had a glitch with her log-in or something. I haven't met her or her family personally, but she seems to be a wonderful person online.
Here's a good thread to see what we mean about her:
http://www.rvforum.net/SMF_forum/index.php/topic,68603.0.html

DearMissMermaid is another that full times. She is a very entertaining writer full of wonderful stories.

Guguluff said:

I've noticed that a lot of you are empty nesters so it would be much easier after the kids leave for college, but what could I do if I don't share this passion for traveling w/ my husband?

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I travel alone in a smaller class c (Winnebago Trend) which suits me just fine, and I enjoy it.  And of course, I've met some wonderful people.  I don't know how to solve your situation of your spouse not wanting to travel (mine was that way too), but you don't get forever.  What puts a smile on your face can come back home to him, and hopefully he can smile too at your happiness.  Good luck figuring out a compromise.

Thanks for the encouragement! I found some interesting discussions from women traveling alone and some courage to try it. My main concerns would be about the engine, the truck or the RV/ van itself, because I could go on without the AC but not without a running vehicle.
We traveled few weeks w/ TT this year, but he doesn't seem to enjoy himself too much or anticipate the next trip... Probably alone is the way to go. An RV, not a TT+truck combo would be much more appropriate I think, so I'm thinking a camper van or a conversion would be enough for a single person. So I need to do much more research in the meanwhile.

p.s. it would be so, so easy to share a wonderful dream, but life is not that easy sometimes

Maybe what you need is a RV'ing Boyfriend, that way you would have the House Husband and the Camping Boyfriend. Of course they should be kept separate to keep harmony in your life.

Or you could RV alone, or with a gal pal. Or get a divorce and marry someone who is more compatible with your chosen lifestyle.

Or stay with your husband and drag him out camping, and have a grand old time.




The information is out there, all you have to do is let it in. 

I had that problem. No matter what I did, every trip was agony to the point that I started packing us up on one of the trips. I made sure it was comfy and the furnace runs whenever needed. We have one of the few RV's that runs A/C off of solar. That system also runs all the other goodies from home. Honey loves TV so we have a satellite with every channel, same mattress as at home and on and on. No matter what I did it didn't change.

A few weeks after one bad trip I got up early, picked up the trailer, stocked it and brought it home for a few things. Why are you bringing that home was asked. I'm going camping. We just went, I don't want to. I know that, all you want to do is sit there and watch TV. I don't have to sit here and do nothing while you watch, and you don't need to make my life hell while I camp. See you in two weeks.

WE went on that trip without issues and every trip since.

I remember something about a womens group that get together and do a lot of boondocking together..No men spouses husbands or boyfriends allowed...just women folk. They all have small TT that are all done up nicely. Hopefully you can Google this subject and find out more about this group...I know you would have fun. I think they are in the SouthWest. Hope this works for ya!!

Happy Prospector, why didn't I thought of that?!?  ;D
JiminDenver, that solved the problems. And you were lucky because maybe your wife is not a tough nut. Both of us are stubborn and although we had discussions like that he doesn't give in that easily.
John owens, thank you so much for the suggestion. Will look into it. SouthWest is just around the corner and maybe a rally in Co would be a great opportunity to start.

I am a 72 year-old woman who has been full-timing alone for four years, and I love it!  When people ask if it is hard to do alone, I tell them that it is EASIER to do alone!  I have a motorhome and no towed vehicle, but I do have an electric bike, just as Miss Mermaid does.  Motorhomes are a bit easier to set up and pack up for traveling, which is an advantage for a solo traveler. 

There are really lots of us women who travel alone.  One I know has a husband who does not like to travel, so she bought herself a motorhome and packs up her dogs and goes to dog shows all over the country.  She refers to her husband as "the man in the chair" and I guess it works out for him.  Also, I met an 82 year-old lady a few weeks ago that travels alone and loves it, as well. 

One women's forum is at http://www.womenrv.com/forum/index.php.  They have get-togethers fairly often, but even if you can't make one, there are always women in your area to help and advise.  There are also other groups around the country you can join. 

Life is too short to stay at home with someone who does not share your dreams.

Guguluff said:

He's into science and astronomy. I hoped he'll enjoy the great outdoors and the night sky @ Grand Canyon. He liked it but doesn't plan another trip without me constantly remind him and nagging him. I even found the biggest and best preserved meteor crater and he liked to visit it. But... he's Ok just to watch documentaries and movies about real things. 

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Greetings, Guguluff,

Astronomer here. Don't know if he does any astrophotography or not but I've taken some of my best shots out west where you are higher and the sky is away from night lights of cities and simply breathtaking clear. At vary least you have a wonderful clear sky to conduct astronomy. One idea you might focus on is to go to starparties where astronomers gather to do astronomy. Also we have some interest of having some people from the forum gathering to do some astronomy and share scopes for some of the RV forum members who just want to take a peak (will do our best to convert them  ;D  ).

Also you might want to visit various observatories, NASA sites and there are campgrounds that are dedicated for astronomy. Combine that with some items you would like to see and do and perhaps it might be a workable solution.

You mentioned the best preserved meteor crater. I've stopped there before and it's a nice place to visit. Did you notice the meteor just missed the museum there?  ;D

Good luck in your efforts and perhaps by taking a few trips now and then, he'll come around to your way of thinking and begin to miss not being on the road and camping.

This is such an interesting thread, I had to let it go on a few replies before I replied....
I am focusing on the family idea. Tell the poor dude what he is missing out on! Some of us started out tent camping with the damned inflatable mattress. It's not rocket science!

Some learn to enjoy. Some, not so much. Maybe this is one of those situations.
Do your best. The forum is here if we can help.

check out "Sisters on the Fly" they were at a state park we visited a month ago. some really neat campers and very friendly group.
they camp all over the states and have about 8500 members.
too bad about your husband- hopefully he will come around and enjoy the camping life style

Judy, thank you for your advice. Gonna try some lonely Rv-women in the area. I found one site like that and they requested an annual fee. But womenrv.com doesn't seem to have any membership fee so it's great. Will read as much as possible and in the meanwhile will find some way to save for a class B or a van, for myself and I.
CamperAL, we went to the star party at Grand Canyon in June: https://www.nps.gov/grca/planyourvisit/grand-canyon-star-party.htm
We were so lucky because we were visiting GC in that period and I showed him the signs and insisted that we go w/ our daughter. He's got a Celestron 20x80 binoculars but rarely uses it. We went to Nasa Space Center in Houston, in March. But will keep an eye on the forum to find some astronomy events/ RV rallies.
Denmarc, we had some serious discussions because we're missing out on life, as a family and as individuals. 2 of his friends died at 26 and 33 and some other acquaintances died in our home country last fall, in a terrible fire, in a club. We could of been there... But he works a lot and spends more than 10h/ day in front of the laptop, sometimes 14-16 if we don't have anything to do... It's sad because kids see this and we already have problems with the girl, because she avoids nature, hiking and camping. Wonder why...
SMR, I wonder if it pays off to spend 70$/ year. I would love to find a community w/ women of different ages and family situations, because I'm not an empty nester or retired so I would like to meet mothers that go solo on the road, for weeks or even months (how do they make money/ keep a job, who takes care of the kids, how do they fix the RV if needed, etc.) Will look into that, thank you!

Thank you all for reassuring me that I'm normal!  I don't get much support in real life (my parents don't understand the RV lifestyle and my in-laws think that only poor people own a trailer and live in it...) and started to doubt my insanity (instead of being a quiet homemaker I want to be a full time traveler).

Guguluff said:

Could't find any thread with this problem of mine...
I loved to travel all my life and as soon as we start going places I imagined living on the road, somehow. I lived for 33 years in eastern Europe and haven't seen so many RV's over there, but we went tent camping and we've seen some countries, traveling in our small car and sleeping in motels. My husband was never such a camping fanatic, always hating to put the tent up or down, to inflate the mattress. He said he liked to travel, but not to sleep in tents and campgrounds, even though we saved a lot of moneys this way.
A few months ago I kind of twist his arm to get a TT and a truck and we went in two long trips (KS-TX and KS-NV), w/ the kids in the first one and w/ kids and my parents in the second one.
He works on the internet and we could do this at least 3 months/ year (the big kid's vacation), but he hates every second of it. I guess he's a homebody. In every trip he complains about the problems on the road, the lack of space, the physical work... I don't want to sound too whiny or bad mouth him, I just want to ask you guys and gals if I should give him more room to accommodate to the RV life or just drop the whole idea of a partial on the road life?
I'm willing to buy a conversion van to travel alone, at some point maybe during the summer if the kids stay w/ the grandparents. I've noticed that a lot of you are empty nesters so it would be much easier after the kids leave for college, but what could I do if I don't share this passion for traveling w/ my husband?

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Since I have on the road alone for 5 of the past 6 years, I meet other solo females in the campgrounds. You would be SURPRISED how many have left hubby at home.

One lady asked her husband 2 times about going to the beach, they were landlocked in Indiana. He kept putting up a protest. One day she got the travel trailer all ready to go then asked him again if he wanted to go to the beach. He again refused. So she said, well honey buns, I'll be back in 3 weeks.

What's even funnier... she was gone 6 weeks.

I've run into her since several times, always alone, still married but hubby is still at home. What I find curious, she loads up a ton of produce from the garden and cooks awesome home meals every day. We shared several potlucks.

Maybe hubby would like it more if you went fewer miles but stayed longer.

I was weary of a speedy trip I went on with a friend where we did too many miles and too many one nighters. Now we travel together some the past year and we stay 2-4 weeks every where we go. We don't do many miles in a day either. Sometimes we only move 50 miles to the next camp and park it for the max they will let us stay, typically 2-4 weeks at the public parks. We both love nature, so we stick to public parks that tend to have that.

On another note...

My married friends were RVIng and the wife was sick of it and talked hubby into a condo. He was 90 and she was 50. Well 6 months later he was miserable. He wanted to live in the RV cause everything was handy and he liked the views of traveling.

She went back on the road with him 8 more years until he died. The last year in the RV they parked long term that year, cause he loved the convenience of the RV lifestyle with everything compact and in reach. But he was failing and asked her to let him live in peace his final days in the RV.

They had cats, dog and a parrot rambling around with them too.

Trivia note, he and his family were good friends  of mine. I was too sick at the time to travel to the funeral. I wrote a nice tribute and sent it to his family. They used it as his eulogy at his final services, even had hundreds of copies printed up. I was so deeply honored.

She sold the RV and bought another condo.