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Author Topic: Rudeness...  (Read 7720 times)

Tom Hoffman

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Rudeness...
« on: July 05, 2016, 10:35:05 PM »
This evening my wife and I went out to a Chinese Restaurant in Independence Ia for supper.   We were seated in an out of the way corner.  The next two tables closest to us were filled within minutes of our arrival. 

Once we got settled, I noticed that on both of the tables closest to us cell phones out and in use of some sort.  One table had an elderly couple with what appeared to be their young adult grandson.  He proceeded to make calls and carry on phone conversations all the while pretty much ignoring the old couple.

The other table had a Husband and Wife with about a 3 year old little girl who was very lively, through out their meal the Dad had his phone in front of his face while seemingly keeping one ear cocked to the little girl who was bouncing off the seat cushions.  He seemed to completely ignore the wife. 

I was appalled at the actions of the young adult male and his complete rudeness toward the old couple.  They seemed to be resigned to it and said nothing to him.  It was all I could do to not walk over and take the phone from him and stick it where he would not be able to retrieve it easily in case he actually had to make an important call. 

I called all of the proceedings to my wife's attention.  She had been aware of it as well.  Only then did she tell me that the young mother had her phone out as well and was texting and playing a game too.  I couldn't see, as her back was to me and my view was obscured by it.

What is going on?  Have the people completely lost their minds?  Where does this rudeness come from? 

I have seen the commercial about "digital dead walkers"  I guess I am now starting to slightly understand.  I think that these digitally addicted could be led off a cliff like lemmings and the world would be a better place.
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

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Quillback 424

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2016, 12:56:48 AM »
A number of years ago I took my daughter and son, who were home for a visit, out for dinner. Before our meals were served my daughter took a call and stayed with it for the first half of her salmon dinner, about 20 minutes.

One of her customers had a problem with a networking system she engineered and a tech called her for assistance. She walked him through solving the problem and a quick operations test.

Not all of those youngsters are playing games all day and night. Some of them, like my daughter, never leave their office... which is their laptop and cell phone.
Larry --  Olathe, Kansas
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"Only an insane society would restrict the liberties of healthy people based on the actions of the disturbed." 
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Tom Hoffman

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2016, 01:40:03 AM »
Your point is well made, however it was a blatant display of rudeness on her part to do it the way you describe. 

Because she is tethered to her office at all times, then she had the ability to get up, excuse herself, leave the table and go and field her service call from the bathroom, or outside or back in the car.

Had I been a diner in close proximity to her 20 minute service call, my dinner would have been just a disrupted as hers and yours, and you should have not put up with it as well.

We are to the point now that non action on our part condones rudeness.
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

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Quillback 424

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2016, 02:06:20 AM »
First you are offended because you see someone on a cell phone.

Now you're offended because someone at an adjacent table could handle their business in a quiet, professional manner while eating their dinner. Frankly, our table was much louder after she was done with her business and all three of us caught up on each other's lives.

Maybe it is you who should pay more attention to your own dinner guest and less time staring at the actions of every other patron in the establishment, who must find you really rude.
Larry --  Olathe, Kansas
2012 Winnebago Sightseer 33C
2005 Trail Rated Jeep GC 4.7 L

"Only an insane society would restrict the liberties of healthy people based on the actions of the disturbed." 
John Hayward

Tom Hoffman

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PHONE'
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2016, 03:08:24 AM »
Larry,  you have to be kidding. 

A restaurant is not the setting to take a call, make a call, play a game or surf the web.  It is completely inappropriate and should not be done and if done is blatant rudeness, thus the title of my original posting.  The fact that you choose to attack me shows that you obviously condone these actions.  You must have a high tolerance for BS and must not have raised your daughter to be any better. 

Where are her manners?  Did you really teach her to have so little regard for you as to feel it is appropriate to disrespect her parent by this display of 'RUDENESS'?

Just because technology lets this kind of thing happen, does not give some one else the automatic  right to subject strangers to their life or conversations many times held loudly with little regard for anyone else other than their feeling that since their "PHONE" summoned them they now have the right to be RUDE to total strangers.

I was not offended that he took or made the call, he could have taken his leave and handled it appropriately as your daughter could have also.  What offended me was the disrespect to the Grandparents who were obviously hurt by the whole thing, but had grace enough to be embarrassed and end the meal and let him get back to his busy life.
 
When all this takes place loudly less than five feet away it is a little hard to ignore.  You don't have to look up or pay attention, you don't have any choice than to be drug into it kicking and screaming as normal conversation with my wife was all but impossible with his call going on.
Wife said to me. "What cha doin' today?"  "Nothin'" says I.  "Ya did that yestiday!" Says she.  "I didn't get done!" says I

2003 F-350 Super Duty Lariat Dually 7.3 Diesel
2008 34' Sunny Brook, Brookside

JDOnTheGo

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2016, 06:08:10 AM »
Hi Tom,

Every situation is different, of course, and often hard to thoroughly describe.  That said, I too find people's behavior with their phones to be generally rude and inconsiderate.  Sadly, that describes our modern society in a nutshell...  There are a few folks that are able to talk quietly into their phone but the majority seem to talk quite loudly.  I am fairly miserable when 'trapped' in a restaurant, airport gate, doctor's office, or similar with these folks.  Games (with the sound off) or using the phone for reading doesn't bother me though (assuming these are strangers and not people that I am treating to dinner!).  I'm not positive but I think (using your scenario) that it is no longer socially acceptable for the grandparents to tell the boy to put the phone away and visit with them (sadly).  Of course, all this tells me that my expectations of adults is obviously out of line considering how little is expected from our youth. 

Not a very positive comment on my part.... sorry.   :(
JD - Full timer out west
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Tom

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2016, 06:37:11 AM »
Folks, please refrain from posting personal comments about other members.
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SeilerBird

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2016, 06:49:19 AM »
I spent the month of May on vacation visiting friends and relatives, most of whom I had not seen in over a year. I was shocked at how often someone would pull out a phone and start texting while we were in the middle of a conversation. I only have a few hours to visit with them and they can't put down the dam phone for an hour or two.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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Rene T

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2016, 07:06:00 AM »
I see more and more establishments posting signs asking not to use cell phones while in their building. If you have to use a phone for business or a personal call, take it outside away from everyone. I don't want to hear what's going on in you life. It's just being respectful.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 01:21:10 PM by Rene T »
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SargeW

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2016, 07:09:47 AM »
What this truly is? A sign of the times.....
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BinaryBob

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2016, 07:34:50 AM »
Tom,
It's is truly a different generation. Not bad, but different. Their electronics become an extension of themselves identifying where they are, what they're doing, and what they're thinking. When we had teenagers at home I would put the kibosh on electronics at the dinner table so we could visit. That rule has stuck even today when we get together to visit. But now it seems this generation can multi-task so well they can do both - carry on a conversation and click their little buttons!
I would try to not let it bother you.
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whiteva

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2016, 08:19:21 AM »
1. Being a geezer I find using a cell phone at the restaurant table something I never do. Emergencies, (work included) would require me to excuse myself from the table to help some newbie to get a clear picture on their RV tv. (Push the damm button I showed you on the walk through.)

2. Thinking through the situation, what is the difference when other patrons are having a conversation between themselves? Do you eavesdrop on them?

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Quillback 424

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2016, 08:34:00 AM »
Tom,

Nowhere in your original post did you say anybody was loud. Do you now think now you need some additional justification for your comments?

You were offended because someone was quietly talking on a phone and another was texting! You need to get out more. Or, maybe not!
Larry --  Olathe, Kansas
2012 Winnebago Sightseer 33C
2005 Trail Rated Jeep GC 4.7 L

"Only an insane society would restrict the liberties of healthy people based on the actions of the disturbed." 
John Hayward

BinaryBob

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2016, 08:47:37 AM »
Larry, In all fairness, Tom posts his appall at the rudeness displayed by the kid to the older couple; not toward him personally.
2004 Itasca Suncruiser 37B

"Every hobby perpetuates its arcane mysteries. How else would we impress the newbies with our superior knowledge?"
--Gary RV Roamer--

Dance Chick

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2016, 08:57:50 AM »
We were walking in downtown Charleston the other day. A Mom & Dad were being followed by 3 teens/pre-teens and each had their noses in their cell phones (the kids, not the parents) as they walked. DH and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. It really was kind of pathetic.

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SeilerBird

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2016, 09:00:34 AM »
There is nothing new here. Teenagers have been ticking off old people since day one. It will never stop no matter how much complaining you all do on a forum. Of course when I was a teenager then all teens were perfect. ::)
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 03:56:07 PM by Tom »
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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mariekie4

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2016, 10:06:30 AM »
Tom Seiller I wish we had a thumbs up button! You are so funny!  ;D ;D My same thoughts........ ::)
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.       George S. Patton.


2007 Winnebago Journey 35'
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scottydl

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2016, 10:12:40 AM »
I agree with Tom that it is indeed a a strange indicator of society when a group of 4-5 people (in some social gathering/situation) involves almost everyone looking down at their phone/device... whether work, recreation, etc.  Heck, restaurants are even promoting electronic communications to do business.  One sit-down burger place we went recently has devices on each table which permit the customer to order their food, play games while they wait (for a fee of course), and pay the bill at any time.  Why bother with waiters or waitresses!

While younger generations are certainly more device-centralized (as they have grown up with it and don't know any different), that's not exclusively the case.  My parents (in their mid 60's) have Galaxy S6 phones, probably pay $100/month for their data plan, and always seem to be messing around online.  Meanwhile my wife and I have among the cheapest Tracfone and Boost Mobile smart phones/plans, with a teenager and preteen who still don't have their own phones yet (almost unheard of).

Face to face interaction is becoming a rare commodity, something that my wife & I are trying to actively teach our kids since they certainly won't learn it anywhere else!  We're trying to keep them grounded to the "real" world as much as possible.
Scott, wife, 3 boys... and the dog
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Moebius

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #18 on: July 06, 2016, 10:24:26 AM »
Amber and I are the parents of a 5 y/o and we are VERY conscious of tech addiction. I am a software developer, so my income depends on people using the software I help create. HOWEVER, when Amber and I grew up there were no such devices, we just had TV and very primitive game consoles. We both ate dinner at a dinner table and talked about our days with our respective families. That was how it was.

Today, we find ourselves distracted by our iPhones and iPads, but one of us is usually there to say "Turn it off." We have made it a point to eat dinner at the dinner table where we can talk to each other and leave the distractions, including TV, off. When we do go out in public, we are dismayed by how other parents (and grandparents) use technology as ways to keep children occupied, almost as if they don't want to talk to them or are afraid if they don't give them the gadget, they will scream and embarrass them. Little do they know that in some people's eyes, they are shaming themselves by allowing the technology to replace their interaction.

Just like Tom mentioned, children have always had things that their parents didn't and everyone says this will destroy our race. It hasn't yet and I sincerely hope that we will acknowledge the problem and educate parents and caregivers regarding the harmful effects of technology on sleep, attention, aggression, etc.

Fingers are crossed.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 02:34:21 PM by Moebius »
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Larry N.

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2016, 10:36:42 AM »
Quote
Heck, restaurants are even promoting electronic communications to do business.  One sit-down burger place we went recently has devices on each table which permit the customer to order their food, play games while they wait (for a fee of course), and pay the bill at any time.  Why bother with waiters or waitresses!

King's Food Host (I was in Topeka, KS then) was doing that back in the mid '60s -- they didn't have waitresses, you just ordered from the booth. Someone did bring your order to the table, though.
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azwinne

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2016, 10:39:40 AM »
Maybe this is a sign that some restaurants need to take the initiative and introduce a dining area with a "cell free zone". How hard would it be to build a room with a Faraday cage around it so no electronics would operate within the area?
Tom
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Moebius

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2016, 10:50:26 AM »
Maybe this is a sign that some restaurants need to take the initiative and introduce a dining area with a "cell free zone". How hard would it be to build a room with a Faraday cage around it so no electronics would operate within the area?

As far as I know, it is illegal to block cell signals. There was a "gentleman" that was arrested and charged with a federal crime for blocking cells signals on his way to work on I4 here in Florida. He purchased a device online from China. He said he was tired of watching people using their phones while driving. Problem is that he disrupted first responder communications also.

This link specifically talks about jammers, but I think it applies to intentional blocking also.

https://www.fcc.gov/general/jamming-cell-phones-and-gps-equipment-against-law
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 10:55:36 AM by Moebius »
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2016 Winnebago Vista LX 35B
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scottydl

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2016, 12:00:49 PM »
Maybe this is a sign that some restaurants need to take the initiative and introduce a dining area with a "cell free zone". How hard would it be to build a room with a Faraday cage around it so no electronics would operate within the area?


Ive thought that schools should do this to keep students off their devices during class hours.  But its been shot down by parent groups who want little Billy to have access to communication at all times.  I can understand the access in some crisis situations, but most of the time I think it causes more distractions and downplays the authority of the teacher & school rules.
Scott, wife, 3 boys... and the dog
- 2008 Forest River Wildwood 32BHDS
- 1995 Chevrolet Suburban C2500 tow vehicle
- 1994 Thor Residency motorhome... owned 2007-2012

Dance Chick

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #23 on: July 06, 2016, 02:08:17 PM »
There is nothing new here. Teenagers have been pissing off old people since day one. It will never stop no matter how much complaining you all do on a forum. Of course when I was a teenager then all teens were perfect. ::)

Agreed, but this goes way beyond teens.
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Dragginourbedaround

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #24 on: July 06, 2016, 02:18:49 PM »
It's the culture and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon.

We were kayaking with three other full-timing couples. The other three still needed to work. While we were kayaking two of the other women were on conference calls.

Before I retired I used to have lunch every Friday with three or four other guys. We had been doing this for over twenty years and our cell phones were becoming a distraction at lunch. So we decided that everyone would put their phone in the middle of the table and the first to answer his phone paid for lunch. Pretty much solved our problem.
Gene

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jackiemac

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #25 on: July 06, 2016, 05:29:11 PM »
Saw this and thought about this post.
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Tom

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #26 on: July 06, 2016, 05:36:07 PM »
LOL Jackie, good one!
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JackL

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #27 on: July 06, 2016, 06:00:56 PM »
For what it is worth Tom' I agree with you 100 percent.
 It is rude, but unfortunately the sign of our times

jack L

Moebius

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #28 on: July 06, 2016, 07:04:53 PM »
Saw this and thought about this post.

LOL. But the next generation will not go outside...
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Chris, Amber, and 5 y/o Christopher
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John Beard

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Re: Rudeness...
« Reply #29 on: July 06, 2016, 07:12:08 PM »
My father was upset at my Transistor Radio and the way I carried it all of the time. Times have changed...Lighten Up for heaven's sake. Bigger things to be concerned about then what other folks do with their time. :)
John & Susan
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