RVing message boards > The Shade Tree
Post a joke
1joester2:
An archaeologist was digging in the desert outside Jerusalem, when he found a crude sarcophagus. On opening it, he discovered a mummy completely intact. On further investigation, he determined that he must have this mummy inspected by professionals, so he called a museum in Jerusalem and told the curator that he had just discovered a mummy that was about 3500 years old who surely died of a heart attack.
The curator was skeptical, but the remains were transferred to the museum and thoroughly inspected.
The archaeologist received a phone call from the curator and the curator wanted to thank him for the incredible mummy and really wanted to know how he accurately dated the remains and determined the cause of death so accurately without x-rays or any of the highly technical tools the museum has.
The archaeologist simply replied:
"Well, I noticed he had a piece of parchment in his hand. Being able to read the older languages, I saw that it said '10,000 shekels on Goliath'"
Seajay:
A farmer was working in his barn when Chicken Little came running in screaming ......
''RUN FOR YOUR LIFE ,,,,,,, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE..... THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING''
The farmer stopped shoveling horse poop and screamed....
''HOLLY CRAP,,,,,,,,,,,,, A TALKIN' CHICKEN.........IM RICH''.........
Thank a vet for your freedoms........cj..
Just Lou:
I like chicken jokes. My favorite;
I was driving past a farm on a country road when a three legged chicken passed me doing about 50mph. I sped up to about 55, then 60, but he ran off and left me. I stopped at the farmers house to inquire about the strange three legged chicken. He said he was raising them because he thought a chicken with an extra 'drumstick' would be a good seller. When I asked how they tasted, he said he didn't know, he had never been able to catch one.
Luca1369:
When I lived in a sticks and bricks home my next door neighbor saw me working in my back yard one day and came over to the fence to chat. He saw me tamping down a large pile of dirt with the back of a shovel and asked me what I was doing. I replied that I was burying my goldfish. He said that it looked like an awfully big pile of dirt for a goldfish. I replied: "Perhaps, but he was inside your cat."
Ned:
On the last day of school before Christmas break, the children
brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter
brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of
candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted up the box and noticed it was leaking a bit
And left a wet spot on her desk. She touched a drop of the liquid
with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and
asked, " Champagne ?"
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"No," said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"
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