Well, I have officially earned my green belt in RVing. Maybe a better designation for this accomplishment would be the "Brown Belt." I traveled 185 miles from home, went two nights without hookups, and made one official dump (not to mention four months of repairs and renovations). I found a dump station 10 miles from me with RVParky. It was only $10. I was looking for some sort of impressive station as I approached the RV park but I missed it. I paid at the camp office, and they asked if I saw the dump station when I came in. When I said no, they pointed it out. As everyone but me would have known, it was a faucet with a sign that said don't drink from the hose. I didn't! There was a metal cap flush with the ground on a small concrete pad. That was it. There was no one ahead of me and fortunately no one behind me. I had my gloves, paper towels, and a 2 gal jug of hot disinfectant water right inside the rear cargo bay next to the dump valves. That way, I could grab stuff fast and look like I knew what I was doing.
I jumped from the cab. With a confident stride, I went straight to the cargo door, decisively threw it up, grabbed my gloves, and pulled the noodle out of the bumper. I pulled it out before but only a foot or two to put a clear section on it. I was expecting it to be about 8' long. Instead, it was more like 4 feet. I bent over and looked in the bumper to see if it broke in half. I knew I was beginning to look stupid so I decided to go with what I had. I was not going to try stretching it, only to have it pop off of the valve halfway through the dump, so I laid the drain noodle on the pad and jockeyed the MH closer to the pad.
I jumped out again and glanced around to make sure I was not being observed. I started to remove the cap to my drain. Immediately I was met with cloudy water and bits of stuff. I shoved the cap back on. I pushed on the valves. I was beginning to doubt my book learning. Did pushed in mean closed or open? I wondered, what if I remove the cap and get a full-blown dump before I can attach the hose. Then I slapped myself in the face (with my clean hand), "man-up and pull that cover!" When I did, one or two cups of brown water with tiny bits of toilet paper and possible crap hit the dirt. I quickly connected the hose and was about to pull the valve and I remembered a post that warned to secure the other end. I was close enough that I could hold it with one hand as I pulled the valve. Immediately the magic happened. Since I filled my tanks TOTALLY full there was a powerful rush of tea-colored water. Then I pulled the grey water valve. The deed was done. Since their hose was not even connected to the faucet I just grabbed the handle of my 2 gallons of hot Pinesol water. I rinsed the outside and inside with a few sweeps of my arm.
I still had the incriminating cup or two of debris on the dirt under my drain. Should I call the environmental police and turn myself in or flee? was I supposed to have a poop bag?, a shovel?, a bucket? No one on the forum ever advised me on this predicament. I quickly decided to pour the remaining gallon of Pinesol water on it. It dispersed so the only real evidence was a wet spot in the dirt. I fled the scene wondering if I would be tackled the next time I show up at the office to use their dump station. I watched my rearview mirror until I was certain I was not being followed and I finally returned safely to my house. I am ordering some camo netting to throw over the RV in case I was photographed.
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