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I like chicken jokes. My favorite;

I was driving past a farm on a country road when a three legged chicken passed me doing about 50mph. I sped up to about 55, then 60, but he ran off and left me. I stopped at the farmers house to inquire about the strange three legged chicken. He said he was raising them because he thought a chicken with an extra 'drumstick' would be a good seller. When I asked how they tasted, he said he didn't know, he had never been able to catch one.
 
Here's an oldie but a goodie:

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Low

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr. Low are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, `Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
 
In response to "Front or rear legs" post.

What you never heard of the farmer who developed a 4 legged chicken.
A motorist saw one running down the road and the farmer chasing it.
he ask the farmer about it and the farmer said "Well people like drumsticks so I though i'd develop a chicken that had 4 of them.
The motorist said "Wow. that's fantastic,, How do they taste"
The Farmer replied "I don't know.. I have not yet caught one".
 
My first job I made 75 cents an hour. Busboy at Denny's. I worked that until they figured out I was only 14. :) 1964 Freshman in High School

My dad used to talk about working at A&P for 10¢ per hour.. So I ask him how much did Bread cost
(5¢/loaf 6 for a quarter) so 8 hours was 20 loaves of bread.. NO income tax back then.
So I ask how much that same quality bread was today... (Note this was back in the 80s) and by the time we totaled the cost of the bread.. Multiplied by 1.5 cause 1/3 of your income (roughly) goes to taxes.. 21.00/hr was what we came up with.. A professional accountant double checked (First female had of accounting in a "Coed" company (both men and women) in the State of MI I might add. so a very distinguished accountant.. (Ok Mother)... 21/hr...
Alas. today many work for 2.50/tips or less than 10/hr..
 
I really have no idea what the first job I had not working for my dad paid. It was on a fishing schooner. You had to be at least 12 to get a Z-card (merchant seaman's document) and I did. Several times we went off the banks for 3~4 weeks and when the shares were tallied I would not get a lot. It was much more interesting than staying home.
Matt
 
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