How to get her to retire and on the road?

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Joe Bee

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Feb 12, 2006
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In 1996, I had the opportunity to retire and I jumped at the chance.? ?I fooled around with different projects but my Essential Tremor (opposite of what Michael J Fox has) stopped all that.? ? ?I shake when I try to do something.? MS folks shake when not trying to do something.
My wife has been in private practice for many years? (she's a shrink) and isn't warming up to the idea to hit the road again in a class A.? ?We had a great time on weekend and week long trips before but now the idea (of extended trips) is spooking her.? ?Any ideas?
Our kids are spread all over the US and we do travel to visit often.? ?I want to see the West before I'm too damn old to do it in a RV.? ?We've been to Europe several times and now is the time to see the US.? ? ?
Joe Bee
 

Shayne

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Jan 22, 2006
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No pun  intended  She needs to see a shrink.  Rving can cure a lot of things and besides    teach her to drive the Class A  She needs to talk to some of these gals here on the forum.  ?they do a wonderful job doing so.
 

Betty Brewer

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Joe Bee said:
We had a great time on weekend and week long trips before but now the idea (of extended trips) is spooking her.? ?Any ideas?

Joe,

Much of the RV thing has to be a compromise.  One of the things we did was to agree that on alternate years it was our  partners turn to plan the "vacation."  So despite the fact that I had little burning interest in going to Alaska, I went because it was Terry's turn to plan.  Bottom line I loved it.  This summer is my turn to plan and we will stay closer to our cabin in Idaho.  When it is my turn I pick the restaurants, the entertainment the shopping and he has to go.  It works for us because we both get what we want at least 1/2 of the time and often our interests overlap. I do not think you can force any woman to go full time or on long trips without some incentives and deals!

Just my female perspective,

Betty brewer

 

Will

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Jul 30, 2006
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I don't know.  For a doctor, it is really hard to give up a practice.  It takes years to build a practice, and once you give it up it is gone.  The thought of giving up a practice is asking big things.  It would have to be what she really wants so as to avoid regrets and hard feelings.

Tread lightly and wear a loving smile.
 

Shayne

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That don't cut it with me.  Everyone works hard to build up their trade and a Doctor isn't one dang bit better than anyone else.  Not picking on anyone profession but Laborers work had, pipe fitters, ditch diggers, phone operators, book keepers, accountants,  fireman, police, teachers, and many others including military personal that give a hell of a lot more than any of us.  You either make up your mind what you want to do and do it or you continue to tempt greed.  however if you enjoy the work and don't want to retire than that's a whole different ballgame.  but not to give it up cause you worked hard to build it up    Big BS  JMHO[br]Date Posted: November 26, 2006, 08:08:21 PM

Modified to eliminate triplicate post.
 

Carl L

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My wife has been in private practice for many years  (she's a shrink) and isn't warming up to the idea to hit the road again in a class A.

I have met full timing MDs on the road.  The MD was traveling and doing locum tenens work -- sitting on the practices of MDs taking long vacations themselves.  Are there any such possibilities for your lady?
 

Jim Dick

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Hi Joe,

Well, it's obvious one cannot force another into a lifestyle they don't think they want. We retired in '96 as well and have been full timing ever since. We love it and have seen a lot of the U.S. There is a lot more to see and we hope to keep doing it for some time. I can tell you it's a great way to visit those kids. You are taking your own home with you. If they are nice they will have a spot for you to park, hopefully with hookups :) If not at least there's probably a campground nearby. When you are tired or the grandkids get too rambunctious, you can go "home". At night you are not "in the way" and can relax much more.

If you can get her to read some of the trip reports of our members she might realize what you are missing by not traveling throughout this great country. The rallies that take place spontaneously and with planning are really great and a lot of fun. In the first 4 years of full timing we had more really close friends than we ever had in over 30 years of living in a stick built house!!

Perhaps you could try extended trips. With a practice it might be difficult but getting time away can also be helpful. She might see that the stress of day to day encounters are taking their toll and traveling is extremely relaxing.
 

ArdraF

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Feb 12, 2006
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10,673
the idea (of extended trips) is spooking her.  Our kids are spread all over the US and we do travel to visit often.  I want to see the West before I'm too damn old to do it in a RV.

Joe Bee,

Here's another female perspective. I can't imagine life without an RV.  That said, I've always loved traveling and extended trips are wonderful, but fulltiming is not my cup of tea (unlike some of the other Forum ladies).  Having grown up in the Army when we moved constantly, I like to have a place to come home to and this works for us.  We've had RVs constantly since 1972 so always had it for trips, but one year we were so busy with work that it sat in the driveway for 13 months.  While working we were able to take a couple of six week trips to Alaska and elsewhere.  After retiring in 2000 we take more and longer trips.  This summer we were gone almost five months so we could really "see" Newfoundland which we enjoyed on a shorter trip ten years ago.  During this five month trip we also attended our annual RV Forum rally in Moab, unexpectedly encountered both the Dobrins and Ruwards in Michigan, visited the Dicks and Parks in Connecticut and Pennsylvania, visited Jerry's family in Virginia and mine in South Carolina, attended my 50th high school reunion in Pennsylvania, and stopped by the factory for service on the way home.  It's just amazing how fast those five months went by!  We love having our motorhome with us when visiting friends and family because we have our own bed and breakfast ;) and can "escape" to the comfort of our own home on wheels if the need arises, we don't have to pack or unpack suitcases, nor do we have the hassles of airports.  We just take our time and go where the spirit moves us.

We too loved our work and our friends used to tease us because Jerry kept saying "One of these days I'm going to retire" but we just kept on working.  Eventually we decided we didn't want to do it anymore and gradually phased out (easy because we had our own business).  When you have a major illness or accident you suddenly realize that our time on earth is limited and we should make the most of it.  We really enjoyed our work, but now we really like to see how other people live, visit museums, hike, and the like, so RVing affords us those opportunities.

Realistically, doctors have patients who need them and your wife probably feels she would be "abandoning" these people she wants to help.  It makes her feel good and needed.  Nothing on earth will make her want to give this up until she's ready to do it and forcing the issue will only cause resentment.  You have to ask yourself if your wife really enjoys traveling when you take trips.  If the answer is no, then she probably won't enjoy RVing either.  On the other hand, if the answer is yes, then she may find she likes it a lot more than she thinks she will.  For extended trips you need an RV that is comfortable and meets both your needs.  For example, we're both computer people and there has to be accomodation for both our computers.  Some of the Forum ladies like to quilt and need their space for that or similar crafts.  Does your wife have something she really enjoys outside of work and can this be something in which the RV might be employed?  What is it about extended trips that is spooking her?  If it's leaving her patients, then you might not be able to get around that, but if it's something about the RV itself then that issue can be addressed.  I believe a lot of women don't like RVing because it was the husband who selected the RV in the first place and they don't feel they had much input about it.  In other words, it's "his" not "ours" and the wife just goes along for the ride because she doesn't want to spoil his dream.  Hopefully this is not your situation.  Does your wife drive your RV?  If not, she may not feel like she's truly participating in the RVing experience.  We're lucky because we've both always had equal say in the RV we purchase and we both love driving it, so it truly is "our" RV.  Perhaps you could convince your wife to take a sabbatical during which you could take an extended trip so she can see what it's all about.  This approach would allow her to return to work if she finds she really needs to do it for her own psyche.  That would be a shame, but at least you will have tried and, who knows, she might find she loves RVing after all.  We have wonderful "framily" in this forum and are lucky that we have good friends in both fun times and crisis times.  I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Good luck!
ArdraF
 

Joe Bee

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Joined
Feb 12, 2006
Posts
160
Well you have added some very important items to the mix.? ?No she never drove or tried to drive the RV.? ?No she did not choose the latest RV or any? of the other RVs.? ?Please keep the ideas coming.
Joe
 
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