Post a joke

[SpencerPJ]

 

[tlmgcamp1]

It's not my job to run the train,
The whistle I don't blow.
It's not my job to say how far
The train's supposed to go.
I'm not allowed to pull the brake,
Or even ring the bell.
But let the damn thing leave the track
And see who catches ****!!

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[SpencerPJ]

 

[Chef Duane]

Someone mentioned bullfrogs in another post.. made me think of a joke;

A scientist is doing a study of the strength of bullfrog legs. He sets one on the exam table and gets behind it and screams "JUMP!" at the top of his lungs. Bullfrog jumps 37 inches. Hmm... He logs that dutifully in his notes "Two legs: 37 inches." He then surgically removes one leg. Gets behind the bullfrog and yells "JUMP!" Bullfrog jumps 16 inches. He logs that in his notes "One leg: 16 inches." Finally he removes both legs from the frog and yells "JUMP!" Nothing happens. Again "JUMP! JUMP!" Not a thing happens. Finally he logs in his notes "Both legs removed from frog: Frog becomes deaf."

 

[Chef Duane]

A young woman little person comes into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've got a problem. I seem to have a real irritation... you know... down there." He says "Well, get up on the table here and we'll have a look." After the exam he says "I can't see any problem. Does it happen at a specific time?" "Yes" she says "... when it rains." The Doctor tells her to come back when it's raining and he'll have another look. Sure enough, it rains after few days and she shows up again. "Doc, it's unbearable! You've got to go something!!" So he gets her up on the table again. Then he exclaims "Oh my!! Nurse, bring a surgical scissor immediately!!" Nurse comes in and gives him the scissors and snip, snip, all done. The young woman little person gets down and says "Hey!! All better!! No irritation!! It feels fine!! What did you do??" Doc replies "Oh, nothing drastic. I just took about an inch or two off your rain boots."

 

[jymbee]

 

[Tulecreeper]

Ironically, coyotes are twice as fast as road runners.

Wile E's problem was he didn't have any brakes.

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[Chef Duane]

Guy walks into a diner, sits down and looks at the menu. The waitress walks over and he says "Can I ask you a question about the menu please?" She slaps him and says "The men I please are none of your business!"

 

[jymbee]

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[SpencerPJ]

 

[Wasillaguy]

When I moved north I went from an electronics field to what I figured was the closely related field of telecom.
The engineer interviewing asked if I knew the color code.
I responded "Bad boys rape our young girls, but Violet gives willingly."
He just stared at me for what seemed like forever. Then slowly says "the color code?"
I said "apparently I do not know the color code, if it differs from electronic components"
He says "Yeah, sounds like it differs."

 

[Domo]

I spotted an albino dalmatian.

It was the least I could do for it.

 

[RayIN]

Someone mentioned bullfrogs in another post.. made me think of a joke;

A scientist is doing a study of the strength of bullfrog legs. He sets one on the exam table and gets behind it and screams "JUMP!" at the top of his lungs. Bullfrog jumps 37 inches. Hmm... He logs that dutifully in his notes "Two legs: 37 inches." He then surgically removes one leg. Gets behind the bullfrog and yells "JUMP!" Bullfrog jumps 16 inches. He logs that in his notes "One leg: 16 inches." Finally he removes both legs from the frog and yells "JUMP!" Nothing happens. Again "JUMP! JUMP!" Not a thing happens. Finally he logs in his notes "Both legs removed from frog: Frog becomes deaf."

And, they have the only legs that jump around in a skillet.

 

[Tulecreeper]

When I moved north I went from an electronics field to what I figured was the closely related field of telecom.
The engineer interviewing asked if I knew the color code.
I responded "Bad boys rape our young girls, but Violet gives willingly."
He just stared at me for what seemed like forever. Then slowly says "the color code?"
I said "apparently I do not know the color code, if it differs from electronic components"
He says "Yeah, sounds like it differs."

Yep, that's for resistors.

 

[SpencerPJ]

Happy Fathers Day !!

 

[jymbee]

Thankful this guy's motorhome has these connecting storage bays which can sufficiently double as alternate sleeping quarters. Because when the wife asks "does this outfit make me look fat" apparently the wrong answer is "I'm not sure it's really fair to blame the outfit".