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[Wasillaguy]

Why my wife is tougher than I-
When the mosquitoes are bad and I need to piss, I can do so walking backward upwind, with an eye on what's trying to land on my Jimmies.
For her it's like Russian roulette with several cylinders loaded.

 

[Chef Duane]

Couple goes out for their anniversary... Husband asks "So honey, what would you like for our anniversary? A new car, some jewelry, a mink coat, maybe a European vacation?" She replies "I want a divorce!"
He says "Yeah... I wasn't thinkin' about spending that much."

 

[NY_Dutch]

 

[Edd505]

If you want a friend in Washington DC buy a dog. - Senator Lindsey Graham