Post a joke

[Wasillaguy]

Michigan has prisons that ar a good 10-12 hours down the road.

Michigan has prisons as far away as Nashville?

 

[Chef Duane]

Many years ago I dated a young lady that lived near Chino State Prison in Ca. They had a really tall tower with a blinking light on it for emergency notifications of various kinds. When it blinked blue it meant there was an escape and be on the lookout for guys in orange jumpsuits! Only saw it blinking bleu once or twice over a few years. Sent the whole town into a tizzy.

 

[DonTom]

Ordering a pizza in the near future:

CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.

GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the **** do you know that?

GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!

CALLER: WHAT THE ****!

GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...


Welcome to the future!

 

[jymbee]

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[Edd505]

 

[Edd505]

 

[Mark_K5LXP]

 

[John From Detroit]

View attachment 2488705

Been there what's more interesting Danced in **** one summer. On the Dam site. But the next year the event was canceled and a year after that..

AI Overview

A minor historical local dam near ****, Michigan, reportedly gave way decades ago during a harsh winter, causing local roads to flood and freeze.
Reddit·r/Michigan


Historical Context

• • The Incident: Local lore and historical accounts note that a small dam near the unincorporated community of **** (in Putnam Township near Pinckney) broke during freezing winter conditions many years ago.
    
    
  • The Result: Water spilled out, flooding nearby roadways which promptly froze into ice, inspiring the classic local quip that "**** froze over".
    
  The Quip I heard was "The Road to **** is a Soggy Mess".
  
  There is, a ham radio Repeater there.. I think it is a DSTAR type repeater.

 

[Mark_K5LXP]

That adds up. DStar is the devil's spawn.

Mark B.
Albuquerque, NM

 

[Lou Schneider]

View attachment 2488705

Considering the current weather, that must be an old picture.

 

[jymbee]

View attachment 2488710

Very impressive to make such a salient a point in a simple image. Brilliant.

 

[Jackiemac]

True

 

[garyb1st]

I haven't read the almost 300 pages of posts so apologize if this is an old joke.

A man walks into a pub and see Einstein sitting at the bar. He sits down next to him and starts talking. Eventually Einstein says let's play a game. I'll ask you a question and if you can't answer it, you give me $5.00. Then you ask me a question and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $500.00. The man thinks about it and says OK. Einstein starts by asking the man how far is it from here to the moon. The man thinks about it for a moment and says I really don't know. Einstein hand the man $5.00. Now it's the mans turn. He asks Einstein what walks up a hill with three legs and then walks down the hill with four legs? Einstein searches his vast memory of scientific fact. Finally after some time he tells the man he's stumped. He says, honestly I have no idea. He hands the man $500. Now it's Einstein's turn again. But before he asks the man another question, he says to the man. I'm really curious, what does walk up the hill with three legs and walk back down with four. The man reaches in his pocket and gives Einstein $5.00.

 

[John From Detroit]

The man reaches in his pocket and gives Einstein $5.00.

I am not sure of the questions but I have heard it before... Still Thanks for the laugh.

A man carrying a chair which had one leg fall off when he was at the top of the hill and returns to the top to retrieve the chair's 4th leg. (But hey. that's obvious)

 

[NY_Dutch]

 

[old_toys]

 

[jymbee]

​

 

[triplethreat]

I went to my bosses' office yesterday and kindly ask for a raise. He asked, "why do you think you deserve or need a raise?" I quickly replied......"I've got three companies that want me!" Obviously surprised, he wanted to know who they were?




Me: The Gas company, the electric company, and the water company!

 

[NY_Dutch]

I went to my bosses' office yesterday and kindly ask for a raise. He asked, "why do you think you deserve or need a raise?" I quickly replied......"I've got three companies that want me!" Obviously surprised, he wanted to know who they were?




Me: The Gas company, the electric company, and the water company!

A friend of mine asked for a raise a few years ago, and when it was denied he had another friend call the company and ask for a recommendation since they were considering hiring him. He got the raise...

 

[jymbee]