I would be most surprised if you got anywhere near 20% on a late model turbo diesel such as yours. Something less than 10% is more likely, if you see any improvement at all. Your payback will be in your enjoyment of better performance on hills (both up and down) and more responsiveness, not fuel economy. With only 10,000 miles/year of use, the dollar payback will be long indeed.
Your actual gains, if any, will be strongly influenced by your driving habits, e.g. anticipating slowdowns and stops, gentle acceleration, etc. Managing your driving is probably the best - and cheapest - improvement you can make.
Yes, a bigger exhaust, both headers and pipes, may help a bit. But that's the major component of the Banks kit, so you are already considering that.
You should be getting about 11-13 mpg towing your trailer with a stock E350 Powerstroke, depending on terrain amd your driving. Is that what you are experiencing now?