Will the Honeymoon Survive The Trip??

[Steve CDN]

RV travel can be the ultimate test of a relationship.? Can both partners live in close quarters for extended periods of time in harmony?? If a couple spent their professional lives independently can they survive living in an RV fulltime??

What are some suggestions to keeping the flame alive and to enjoy each other's company while living in close quarters?

 

[DougJ]

I take it, Steve, that you are even now planning your Nth honeymoon???

Ciao,

Doug

 

[Steve CDN]

Doug,

In order to provide insights to Forum members who are thinking about long term travel, we're looking for the opinions of people who have been doing it successfully.  I recall meeting a couple who sold their house and contents, bought a luxurious motorhome in which they lived for under a year.  Unfortunately they discovered they could not co exist together in the coach.

Of course it was an expensive learning experience for them, and one that we hope to help others avaoid.

We've been honeymooning for seven years now!

 

[Lorna]

Ned and I have been full-time for eight yrs and still enjoying it very much.  You're right though about being able to co-exist in very confined space.  Both partners have to love doing this, but they still need to have some interests of their own.  When Ned is working I find other things that I like doing and he doesn't.  There are some sight-seeing place that I like and he doesn't and I go and do those things when he is busy doing his thing with the computer.  This life-style is not for everyone and we would highly recommend renting a RV and taking a trip before selling everything and then doing this.

 

[Steve CDN]

Lorna,

I agree wholeheartedly that anyone contemplating fulltime RVing should at least rent an RV for a prolonged period to see if they like the lifestyle.  Preferably the couple has been involved with the lifestyle for a number of years which would give a better perspective on what's involved.

We began tent camping in the 70's then travelled with a travel trailer for ten years.  It was during this time we met several fulltimers, and made this our long term goal.  Eventually we went through several motorhomes and when retirement came along we knew what we wanted.

Of course having participated in the RV Froum since the early 90's, I learned a great deal about the lifestyle from Forum members which helped in understanding what was involved.

We each have different interests in addition to doing many things together.  It seems this might be the key to overcoming "partner overload".

 

[Jim Dick]

Steve,

I'm a couple of months late on this topic but, as you know, we are on 8 1/2 years of full timing. One advantage we had was we lived in the coach for two years before we actually sold the house. The coach was a 96" non slide Bounder! We actually had two of them in that period but continued to be civil toward each other. Now that we have a 102" single slide American Dream we are in heaven. ;D ;D

Full timing does take a lot of restructuring of our lives. We must learn to co-exist in a confined space but it is not hard to do if you are compatible. Pat and I have always done everything together so it was just a matter of reducing the amount of space, and work, in which we lived. At this point neither of us would trade it for any other lifestyle!!!

 

[Steve CDN]

Hi Jim!

One of the common elements we hear from RVing couples is that all their lives they have done things together.  Is this the primary requirement for happy co existence in a confined lifestyle such as RV'ing or boating?  I don't know if there are many other lifestyles where a couple live in such constant proximity for extended periods of time.

That being said, occasionally one needs time alone...so when living in an RV or boat...how is that best accomplished?

 

[BernieD]

RV travel can be the ultimate test of a relationship.  Can both partners live in close quarters for extended periods of time in harmony?  If a couple spent their professional lives independently can they survive living in an RV fulltime? 

What are some suggestions to keeping the flame alive and to enjoy each other's company while living in close quarters?

I just heard some sad news about friends of ours splitting up. It seems that the only thing that they have in common and work well together is when they are RVing. Since full timing is not an option, their differences and problems are magnified every time they return from a trip. Sad.

 

[Ned]

Lorna will leave me for some time with her granddaughters and family a few times a year.  Sometimes it's for a week or two, sometimes, like today, just for overnight.  I'm enjoying my 24 hours of solitude right now   But it's always good to have her back.

 

[Bob Buchanan]

Steve:

What are some suggestions to keeping the flame alive and to enjoy each other's company while living in close quarters?

When anyone asks my opinion on whether or not to go full time in an RV, I tell them that they should rent the '85 Albert Brooks movie, "Lost in America". One of my all time favorites even before I bought my first RV.

One learns all about the concept of a Nest Egg -- and how to handle going from a $100,000/year executive job to finally finding a job on the road helping school children cross the street -- while his formerly well, but lesser, paid wife landed a better job as a fast food manager.

Yep, should be required viewing to those thinking of going full time in an RV.

 

[Jim Dick]

Hi Jim!

One of the common elements we hear from RVing couples is that all their lives they have done things together.  Is this the primary requirement for happy co existence in a confined lifestyle such as RV'ing or boating?  I don't know if there are many other lifestyles where a couple live in such constant proximity for extended periods of time.

That being said, occasionally one needs time alone...so when living in an RV or boat...how is that best accomplished?

I would say doing things together really is important in order to survive this lifestyle without having arguments. We have always done things together so it wasn't a problem. I doubt many couples venture into this full time if they haven't gotten along well in their previous life. ;D

Can't tell you how to get time alone as we usually don't do that unless Pat is shopping. I imagine one can retire to the bedroom for some solitude or sit on the patio if it's nice weather.

 

[Terry A. Brewer]

Bob

>> I tell them that they should rent the '85 Albert Brooks movie, "Lost in America". <<


Thats why I lock Betty in the bedroom anytime we get near Vegas.<G>


Terry
At SLC, UT

 

[Tom]

I imagine one can retire to the bedroom for some solitude

Jim, I recall one coach we saw when shopping around had a slightly larger bedroom with a seating area and nice French doors. I thought it was a neat idea for those times when someone needs a little time "alone". But then realized how much space it took away from the living area of the coach.

 

[Betty Brewer]

Bob


Thats why I lock Betty in the bedroom anytime we get near Vegas.<G>

That is simply not true. If I am ever in the bedroom it is because I go willingly to avoid watching his? auto racing or Sci Fi on theTV? upfront .? Two Tivos are required for our lifestyle.? He won't watch DR. Phil or any HGTV. This is one way to survive full time in a motorhome.

Betty
Also in SLC about to go shopping

 

[Karl]

Along with Lost In America, National Lampoon's Vacation with Chevy Chase, Barbara D'Angelo and Imogene Coca as Aunt Edna is also a must see. If that whole family can survive a trip in a small car to Wally World, almost anyone should be able to face the rigors of full-timing in a medium-sized MH. If not, maybe twin MH's - one for each? ;D ;D ;D

 

[Tom]

maybe twin MH's - one for each? ;D ;D ;D

Now that might be an idea for a product Karl, kinda like attached condos, or tow-along granny quarters.

 

[Karl]

Tom,

Too late; already done. They're called double-bottom's and usually say "Consolidated Freightways" on the sides. ;D

 

[Jim Dick]

Jim, I recall one coach we saw when shopping around had a slightly larger bedroom with a seating area and nice French doors. I thought it was a neat idea for those times when someone needs a little time "alone". But then realized how much space it took away from the living area of the coach.

Tom,

Gulfstream used to make a bedroom like that. It looks really neat but not too practical for most RVers.

 

[Smoky]

In answer to Steve's question about alone time, this is one of the reasons we will be towing a toad.  In August, for example, I have planned a two week trip alone from Kalispell over to McCall Idaho to visit a friend and fish.  Sharon will have the toad and her choice of three or four relatives to visit who all live in Montana.

I am sure sometime during the winter, I will be driving her to the airport so she can fly back to our son in Maryland and help with a new family arrival.  Rather than try to create alone time within the motorhome, our solution has always been to have individual freedom to travel independently from time to time.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[Bob McNabb]

The poet philosopher Kahlil Gibran, wrote in his poem on marriage, "But let there be spaces in your togetherness"....and most marrieds need some space. The disasters that followed any numbers of our friends who purchased RVs, boats and even homes, stemmed from one of them yielding to the impulse that consumed their spouse.

I had a friend who became almost like a survivalist and insisted that his dear wife assist while they canned more veggies and fruits than they could ever manage to consume. He'd proudly boast about their "60 jars of tomatoes that we canned last weekend" and we'd wonder to ourselves ("is that what they do for fun?"). Well, it turns out that the wife's grin wasn't real.

We're not fulltimers, but our swipe at maintaining harmony is that all of our motorhoming is planned together, including the MH purchase itself, just as most of our life together is planned together. My motto is "happy wife, happy life" and it does work marvels if people shape their dreams together. I learned alot about canning by watching my friend's marriage cave in because of it.