Lost my co-pilot

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Thanks for allowing me to vent.
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You are not venting you are beginning the healing process.  Take time to grieve.  One of the things that helps is to write a letter to her everyday in a journal, telling her how you feel, how much you miss her and remembering the memories.  And search out a support group.

Take care of yourself and the dogs, and keep us posted on how you are doing.

We are so sorry for your loss.

Marsha~
 
Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement during my time of grieving. Today at 3:08 PM, PST is when I said my good byes to my DW, sole mate, best friend and co-pilot.
I thought by going camping in one of our local CG that she loved would help and to a degree it has. Yesterday I was making coffee and couldn't find the coffee filters so was about to ask her where they were but remembered so wasn't with us. Kev, I'm sure you know where that place is and we can still hook up sometime.

I know now it is going to take sometime to get passed this and also know that I can not do it myself so going to seek some professional help.

Was going to post a picture of us when we stopped at Seven Feathers RV resort this past June on our way home from Portland but some reason it won't let me do it from my iPad. Will try when I get home and do it from my desktop apple.

 
Barry, you are in my prayers.  I can't imagine the pain you feel, but I am thankful for you sharing your story.  Hopefully it helps you in some small way, and it helps all of us too, in all sorts of ways.
 
We don't know each other, but your pain and grief hurts. I'm so sorry. I would like to think that she is watching over you. When you least expect it, you may "see" her over there, or "feel" her just behind you. Love is just that. Love.
 
My condolences to you and your family. I will add you to our church prayer list. DW and I both have had some health issues that have had us both thinking of life without the other. Keep in mind that a lot of other people are pulling for you.
 
Barry, I am so sorry for your loss. My DH also passed from lung cancer 17 years ago. I still miss him. He was my best friend.

Hang in there. It does get better. It took me longer than most to "recover" but you will. Eventually the memory of watching your partner suffer and pass will fade and all the joyous memories of a life shared will return.

Sending a comforting hug,
Rosanne
 
It was 7 years ago this Saturday that my co-pilot, lover, best friend, and the woman who taught my kids who were in my custody how a family and a mom really loves and lives left us until we rejoin her smiling and laughter filled presence in glory.

We had almost four years of battling breast cancer that finally ended Bev's life. It was a glorious battle and we had precious time with all our loved ones and in the darkest nights together. . .  She and I grieved and she prepared me to move on with my life. The next year, the woman I chose to live it with turned out to be the wrong choice and abandoned me, NM and the RV life --but traded our truck for a new car!  :(

Turns out that one of Bev and my friends whose husband died eight weeks after she did and a friend of mine for 42 years was the right person for me and me for her.  ;) She's just won't learn to drive a diesel A.

Grief counseling is always a good idea and if you have a pastor, ask for a referral; also, the Lutherans, and ecumenically the Samaritan Centers have good counseling services.

If you can't live alone, take your time, make sure you really know each other, share the same faith, values and goals, and life will become more precious  once again. Meanwhile, do use your RV. I went to Quartzite alone twice, once in my truck and once in my MH and that helped me sort things out too.  ;D

If you ever head for the Grand Canyon or the Petrified Forrest give me a shout or message and I'll buy you lunch!
 
I am so sorry for your loss.  It will be 5 weeks ago tomorrow that I lost my Mom for now - 1:55 PM on 8/18/2016 she moved on.  I believe I will join her at some point but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with those times I relied on her for one thing or another.  She worked her butt off for the past year to allow us the time to get as ready as we did - it was last September when she was given weeks to live...with the prediction she would never come home.  She lived happily at home for 8 months with my Dad providing for her every need (with a lot of support from my wife, my baby brother, and me).

The right side of her heart stopped working, my Dad called me as I was on my way to work, "We need your help.  Mom said she doesn't feel right."  We took her to the ER and 5 hours later, it was pretty clear it was over.  I said, "Dad, we have a decision to make.  Do you want to make it or do you want me to?"  He said, "You make it, hon, and I will support you 100%."  So, I moved to the other side of her bed.  Dad was holding her left hand and I was holding her right hand.  I said, "Please stop."

The hospital staff magically disappeared and about 5 minutes later, Dad asked, "Hon, is she dead yet?"  I told him she died as soon as I said, "stop" and he started to cry.  "I thought so."  I will never forget this moment.  I will never forget any of this.

I am not trying to hijack your thread or get any sympathy for myself, I am simply trying to let you know that you are not alone.  As I have helped my Dad at the funeral home and cemetery and with insurance companies and DMV, we have made any decisions she had already made "in her spirit."  We found strength in telling the funeral director that we wanted "the cheapest casket you have in stock" - that is what Mom wanted. 

Your wife will live on on this earth through how you honor her with your decisions and actions.  I firmly believe you will be together again.

Find strength.  Live on.  It is what she would want for you.
 
Barry,

Sorry for your loss.
I lost my wife of 20 year, when she was 41.
I like to think "the good lord had a recall program" and took her home.
I some times feel guilty for the 24 wonderful years I've had with my current wife. But time allows us to move on.
Hang in there.

Richard
 
Barry; I'm sorry for your loss.

It takes a long time to transition from deep grief to accepting it. You will think about her after that almost every day, The pain will get less but the missing will stay.

Lost my first wife in 1999, my brother in law in 2014 I think of them often, it does not hurt so much anymore but I still miss both.

Give yourself time to grieve and talk about her and allow yourself to cry whenever you want.
 
Sorry for your loss Barry,

As we all can see, many have lost a loved one, me included, (my wife passed from ALS in 2001). And each can say how we dealt with the loss, and how we still deal with it. There isn't one magical way. I had years to prepare for the day. (6 years). My wife now,  lost her husband instantly one day.

I hope and pray that you find your way through this.
 
I want to thank this RV community for all your thoughts, prayers and encouragement.  It is very hard to deal with but like most have said, time will heal. So I am taking a day at a time. I AM SO glad that I have our 2 little  Yorkie  as they are so much company and seem to know what is going on. Can't speak for everyone here but am getting older and have to expect we will all pass on someday but never really ready. I have hundreds of pictures of sherry and I on trips and we loved to travel. So I am going to try to dwell on the great times we had these past 27 years.

Coming back from OR, we talked about her retiring in about a year, then we would get into our MH and travel for 3- 5 months, before settling down on my sons vineyard. Was talking to my neighbor here at the CG and he said, why wait, you are retired and really have northern here except my townhouse but can rent or sell. He may have a great point, do it while I'm able and I know that sherry would have wanted me too. The only thing is that we are going into the winter months and don't know if this is the right time to take off.
Any thought from you full timers.

Again, thanks for reaching out!!!
 
Not a Full Timer but the Southern parts of the country are Great during the Winter months.. Maybe give that a try for a month or so ?

Pack up your Yorkies and Hit The Road..  Do the "Snow Bird" thing for awhile maybe. Visit Friends & Family. Share some memories, Shed some tears, but most of all.. Share some Laughs !

As you already know.. RV folks are some of the BEST people on the Planet ! Visiting, Socializing, and just plain BS'n  with an RV neighbor could, probably would, help.. during any sad, or hard times.
     
Get'n to know a Stranger.. is Good For the Sole. Makes you Strong. Keeps you moving ahead.. toward the next Stranger.

We don't know each other but.. Jus' say'n Barry.

Joe

 
Sorry for your loss, my wife is going through chemotherapy.  And as mentioned stay on the board, and visit people.
Stay active, your pups really need you. 
 
Thanks for the all the condolences and positive suggestions.

Never thought this would be so hard and so lonely. Im going to just take one day at a time. Depending how my biopsy goes on the 5th, will depend on when the pups and I will hit the road.

Castlewood, all the best to your wife!



 
Barry, I'm also very sorry for your loss, remember the good times. She will be looking down on you I'm sure. Take good care of yourself and take your time making big decisions. All the best.
 
Your post really touched me, and I offer my most sincere condolences. I know I am blessed to have my wife as my very best friend, for just over 50 years now. Sometimes we still get angry with each other (we are as far apart politically as a couple can be) but I know how lucky I am to have her. I can't imagine my life without her, and I am so saddened to think about you going through that very thing. I hope and pray for you to come through this whole and able to enjoy life again.
 
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