Having nothing to say in a crowd

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Every time i get invited somewhere i end up leaving early because i just have nothing to say.  I just sit there and watch people, i get bored and leave.  Im just not a big talker and i say very little most of the time.

Anyone else do this?  Have you figured out how to get past it?
 

Tom

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I've been known to fall asleep and wake up when the party is over  ;D
 
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I have thoughts but just feel its not important and none of it is going to change the world so i just say nothing.  I dont feel i need to be popular.  People sometimes think im upset but im not i just have nothing to contribute. 
 

FenderP

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durangod said:
I have thoughts but just feel its not important and none of it is going to change the world so i just say nothing.  I dont feel i need to be popular.  People sometimes think im upset but im not i just have nothing to contribute.

Even a fool seems wise when he keeps his mouth shut.

That said, I obviously have a problem with it. Lol

It would be a quiet world if people only said things that would change it.
 

Gary RV_Wizard

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Many of us are not outgoing, life-of-the-party types.  Besides, people-watching (and listening) can be a lot of fun!  When I'm in a group, I try to push myself a little to contribute where I can, even if it's not an earth-shaking pronouncement, but if the conversation is active without me, I may just watch and occasionally nod or grunt.

But you say you get bored, so I guess the usual conversations hold no interest for you either.  That raises the question of "What ARE your interests?" and are you willing to talk about them? Open with a question, e.g. "Does anybody collect shrunken heads?"  If nobody wants to talk about what interests you, maybe you need to find some new friends...
 

kdbgoat

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I get the same way sometimes, and other times I just jabber on. Like Tom, I've been known to fall asleep at the party. It got worse after my second stroke. I have always had the social graces of a duck, even before the strokes, so being around people can be awkward for me. Just like Hueypilot putting it out there that he has a place to stay and would like the company. He's one of the people I'd like to meet, but wouldn't know how to act if I stayed there. My wife and I are very conservative people, so beaches and pools aren't our thing either.
 

darsben

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It is an acquired trait. Practice practice practice
First try Asking  people about themselves and sit back they will usually talk forever and all you have to do is make appropriate comments.
next Tell a funny story about yourself and compliment a few people and you will start a dialogue with most.

finaaly do not worry about making a fool of yourself in the beginning
 

jayc2640

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I'm naturally quiet too.  Just look interested, maintain good eye contact, and everyone will feel that you are part of the conversation. 

"Better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."  -Mark Twain
 

Tom

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[quote author=Tom]I've been known to fall asleep and wake up when the party is over[/quote]
Part of my secret ... from my days of working in a very noisy steel plant, if there's too much noise in a room, my ears shut down. When you can't hear anything and can't lip read, there's only one thing left to do ... ZZZ.

Another part, probably the same cause ... I have a tough time knowing which direction a sound is coming from and, when several folks talk at the same time, it all sounds garbled.
 

gwcowgill

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After 50 years of marriage, 35 years of making my living talking I sometimes just want to listen. Let the conversation come your way unless you have something to contribute. There is always someone who wants to dominate the conversation and many a time make a fool of themselves.
 

pz

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Jul 29, 2014
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I really do not get involved much in group gatherings. Mostly I've observed people blathering about nothing just to keep a potential uncomfortable silence from occurring. I see nothing wrong with silently observing your surroundings.
 

FenderP

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pz said:
I really do not get involved much in group gatherings. Mostly I've observed people blathering about nothing just to keep a potential uncomfortable silence from occurring. I see nothing wrong with silently observing your surroundings.

You just gave me a hilarious image of six people standing in a circle staring at each other.
 

Molaker

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It depends (no, not Depends). In my younger days, before the meds I'm on, I used to socially drink. Not a lot, but enough to loosen up my mouth. So, I usually joined in with as much blabber as the next guy. Nowadays, however, drinking is pretty much prohibited because of med conflicts. So, though I still participate, I usually don't do it with the gusto I used to. My wife plays it differently and people seem to love it. She is not a social person and really dislikes having her personal space invaded by anyone, including me sometimes. But, her way around this, which seems to work well, is to ask questions of the visitors. Now, she does listen and the questions she ask usually will draw out an individual to the point that all she has to do is listen for a while. If you sit and watch her work, you will realize she hardly said anything other than ask questions. It is almost never about her (not like someone else we all know). It works well for her. I wish I had her knack sometimes.
 
G

Guest

Guest
Molaker said:
If you sit and watch her work, you will realize she hardly said anything other than ask questions.

So if we get busted peeking in the winder, we can tell the cops you told us to do so... LMAO hee hee
 

BinaryBob

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durangod said:
I have thoughts but just feel its not important and none of it is going to change the world so i just say nothing.  I dont feel i need to be popular.  People sometimes think im upset but im not i just have nothing to contribute.

You might try asking a couple of questions pertinent to the conversation topic.
If the subject is boring, you can just sit there and pretend to listen. Nod your head a couple times.
Then nobody will misinterpret and think you're upset.
 
G

Guest

Guest
I guess part of it this time was that i was intimidated by the close community of people here in East Texas and i felt alittle out of place myself.  A few of them did stop by to say hello but then they moved on and didnt strike up a conversation. 

Part of my injury from the MC accident is that i now have agoraphobia and also i have some other phobias such as taking a shower just freaks me out so i do so as fast as possible and grit my teeth while doing so.    I put some smiley face stickers inside the shower to focus on in order to keep me from losing it. 

So with the agoraphobia i always wear my 9mm whereever i go (other than the post office of course).  And the news on TV does not help, when i went to the show i kept looking around thinking someone might shoot up the place so i had better be on alert.  But my agoraphobia really kicks in when i am in the grocery store, not sure why i guess its a trigger of some kind.  I have had many serious anxiety attacks in the grocery store.  So bad that i had to almost lay inside one of the open air frozen food coolers to get through it evough to finish my shopping.

So yeah im pretty messed up, which is one reason i try to keep to myself.

Now as far as my interests and things i know about, golf, computers, programming is really about it.  Im not into guns enough to talk about them.  And i used to work on cars for a long time but now days thats way over my head with all the new tech.
 

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