Rules To Enter Montana

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Ron

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Smoky,

My brother passed the following rules along to me regarding entering Montana.  Thought maybe since you are about to become a Montana resident you would want to see them. :D

.
  Rules to enter Montana
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a " gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because i need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are horses, cattle& oil wells.That's what they smell like to
you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-90 and
I- 94go east and west, I-15goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a 60,000dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks
a year.
5.So every person in every pickup waves. It's being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
to yuor ear at the time.
7.Yeah, We eat Walleye & Rainbow trout. You really want sushi &
caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The " Opener" refers to the first day of hunting season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9.We open doors for women. Thatis applied to everone, regardless of
age.
10.No there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak.Or you
can order the Chef's salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
11.When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes; meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices; salt, pepper and A-1.
12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown,wet, served
over ice.
13. You bring "Mary Jane"into my house, she better be cute,know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14.High School Football is as important here as the Vikings and the
Seattle Seahawks and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards- it spooks
the fish.
16. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They
come out of there with an education plus a love for God and country,
and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the
holidays.
  We have more folks per capita in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air
Force than any other state, so..........................
" Don't Mess with Montana" If you do, it will get your butt kicked by
the best.
 

Tom

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LOL Ron. Had a good chuckle over that list.
 

blueblood

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Ron said:
Smoky,

My brother passed the following rules along to me regarding entering Montana.  Thought maybe since you are about to become a Montana resident you would want to see them. :D

A friend of mine says these were sent out by Texans some time ago. Who stole from whom ???
 

Smoky

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wherever we are parked
Wow, Ron, I did not see this message until today.? Thanks!? I needed a lift here on the forum today!

Hey some of that applies to me.? When I arrived in Kalispell, the first thing I did was head for the real estate office in Lakeside where one of my sister-in-laws works (not the one who provides our new domicile.)

I walked into her office and she looked up and said, "Smoky!? You look like a goddam tourist!"?

Sorry for the language but we are in Montana now. :)

Those were the very first words of greeting upon my arrival in Montana.? She said she was going to have to re-train me.

It as been a long time since I have been in Montana (got married in Chester), so your list will sure come in handy!
 

Ron

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Since you are officially from Montana now you can trash any ties and such.  Blue jeans, western shirt and a straw hat are now in order. ;D

You just got to shed that tourist look.  ;D
 

Smoky

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MMMM no.? They are baseball caps.? How come I saw some baseball caps out in Montana?

I do have a white Stetson and a black Stetson that are kept in the original Stetson boxes.  And a Heirschel  H&H that is my everyday western hat.
 

Ron

Moderator Emeritus
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Home is where we park it
Smoky said:
MMMM no.? They are baseball caps.? How come I saw some baseball caps out in Montana?

I do have a white Stetson and a black Stetson that are kept in the original Stetson boxes.? And a Heirschel? H&H that is my everyday western hat.

I'm sure those will do. ;D ;D ;D
 
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