Post a joke

[jymbee]

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[SpencerPJ]

 

[tlmgcamp]

 

[Joezeppy]

Am I the only one that read this in Foghorn the Leghorn's voice?

LMAO!!! "Everybody knows, I say, everybody knows..."

 

[SpencerPJ]

 

[Alaskansnowbirds]

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[Oldgator73]

Last Ride on My Harley back when I was married.

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a beautiful woman who asked, “Are you OK?”

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for .... “I’m okay I think,” I replied as i pulled myself up from the side of the car to get a closer look. She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That’s nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that !” Oh, come on now, I’m a nurse,”she insisted. “ I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly.”

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed but repeated “ I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”

We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers while she bandaged my wounds, I thanked her and said, I feel a lot better now but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”

"Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile. “Stay for a while . She won't know anything and by the way, where is she?”

“Still in the ditch with the Harley.”

 

[Chef Duane]

Chanel just introduced a new cologne for women to wear when going to a bar. it's called "Leave me the Fa" cologne.

 

[SpencerPJ]

Chanel just introduced a new cologne for women to wear when going to a bar. it's called "Leave me the Fa" cologne.

I bet it smells like shi*

 

[Kirk]

 

[Punomatic]

View attachment 173300

This reminds me of when I was a Lieutenant in the Navy dental corps. The clinic had 3 heads: officer’s, enlisted, and one in the back that everybody just used. One day I was sitting in there, and 1st Class Petty Officer came in and sat in the stall next to me. We finished up about the same time, and about then another enlisted man came in and made a crack about the aroma. I said, “Must be Rutherford. I’m and officer.” Within 15 minutes the whole clinic was laughing about that one.

 

[Mark_K5LXP]

 

[Tulecreeper]

View attachment 173305

He should be able to see out of his right eye in about a week.

 

[Tulecreeper]

View attachment 173300

A lot of truth tho this one.

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[SMR]

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.​

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

 

[Oldgator73]

 

[dave54]

The rights to the TV series M*A*S*H are held by Fox Network.
Disney Corporation bought Fox.
This means Corporal Klinger is now a Disney Princess.